Jemaine's Quotes

#1. You're looking good today Bret. Very hot ... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

Kristen Schaal

#2. I try to have a balance of things you like and things you don't like about a character. But once you start that, all these scripts are like, "You play the douchebag friend of Ashton Kutcher." It's all these characters that are overconfident or hyper-masculine.

Jemaine Clement

#3. I'm part Maori. My mum's Maori, and she raised me. And my grandma, she's Maori.

Jemaine Clement

#4. Bret, you got it goin on! "Got it goin on!" Not in a gay way but in a hey-your-lookin-ok-man!

Flight Of The Conchords

#5. That really hurt my feelings, bro.

Zack Ryder

#6. In real life I'm very low-key. A wallflower. One of the reasons I went into comedy and acting was that I was sick of being shy.

Jemaine Clement

#7. The writing is just a boring job. It's just a horrible job.

Jemaine Clement

#8. JEMAINE
Lisa?
BRET
Yes, she's in Delta Force. She's been deployed to Fallujah.
JEMAINE
But she works in the croissant shop.
BRET
Yeah, she's got two jobs. She's a pastry chef and a sniper.

Flight Of The Conchords

#9. The roe of the Russian sturgeon has probably been present at more important international affairs than have all the Russian dignitaries of history combined. This seemingly simple article of diet has taken its place in the world along with pearls, sables, old silver, and Cellini cups.

James Beard

#10. Old pear tree starlings announce harvest time

Phil Noble

#11. There are a lot of difficult situations that lead to awkwardness.

Jemaine Clement

#12. Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy / That he thinks his booty is fly?

Jemaine Clement

#13. I think that would be great, if I could be in a city and wasn't even allowed to work.

Jemaine Clement

#14. I grew up in front of a TV.

Jemaine Clement

#15. The book is even quirkier, but it's hard to bring all of that stuff to a movie. With a book, you use your imagination more and create your own way to make it all make sense.

Jemaine Clement

#16. We shall find God in everything alike, and find God always alike in everything.

Meister Eckhart

#17. Well, I grew up in the '80s, which was a really massive time for sci-fi.

Jemaine Clement

#18. I want them to see the magic of how
everything is related: To walk out into the night and see the Green Corn Moon levitate across the sky.

Autumn Morning Star

#19. I'm a real pawn-shopper.

Jemaine Clement

#20. What do I think of L.A.? It's boring, with some amazing nuggets. Like there are some parts of it that are great, but by and large I think it's quite boring.

Jemaine Clement

#21. They're turnin' kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers But what's the real cost 'cause the sneakers don't seem that much cheaper Why are we still payin' so much for sneakers when you got them made by little slave kids? What are your overheads?!

Jemaine Clement

#22. And aren't we all just one heartbreak away from complete and total destruction?

B.L. Berry

#23. I miss the city Bret and I live in, Wellington. It's a good place to be creative, in the same way New York is.

Jemaine Clement

#24. There's something funny about being on a big stage and not making a big effort to fill it up

Jemaine Clement

#25. Everybody is a sinner before God. And I think we magnify it today because we have television, and we have so many other technologies that make what happens in some other part of the world in our living room.

Billy Graham

#26. I can only think of one wacky best friend who I thought was awesome: Rhys Ifans in 'Notting Hill.' He really nailed the wacky best friend.

Jemaine Clement

#27. I'm actively going out onto the porch and noodling around on my guitar.

Jemaine Clement

#28. If you don't love him, if you don't even care about him, then seeing him now shouldn't be all that painful. Should it?

Tess Gerritsen

#29. I prefer nothing, unless it is true.

Plato

#30. Not until we take God seriously will we ever take sin seriously.

R.C. Sproul

#31. I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm ... I'm hungry actually.

Kristen Schaal

#32. They don't get along with me, but I get along with other people.

Jemaine Clement

#33. You may have learned from your mother or any other hunted woman. Smiling at devils is a useful learned thing. Swallowing discomfort down in spades. Holding it tight in your belly. Ageing on the inside only. Keeping it forever sexy.

Yrsa Daley-Ward