Janet Evanovich Grandma Mazur Quotes

#1. Damn, I thought everyone carried a gun in New Jersey!!!

Janet Evanovich

#2. I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." -Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

#3. It does not help when an administration, in response to American attacks on American soil and American individuals, the administration ends up asking Americans to give up their First Amendment rights for which our service members are fighting.

Louie Gohmert

#4. That shooting gave me an appetite," she said. "Somebody pass
me the potatoes."
Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

#5. I love singing and I think I have a really nice voice, but I don't think I have an unbelievable singing voice. I think I have a great character voice.

Katie Finneran

#6. When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said:
She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.

Janet Evanovich

#7. Grandma Mazur reads the obituary columns like they're part of the paper's entertainment section. Other communities have country clubs and fraternal orders. The Burg has funeral parlors. If people stopped dying, the social life of the Burg would come to a grinding halt.

Janet Evanovich

#8. I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.
Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

#9. Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Janet Evanovich

#10. When I think about country music, I think about America.

Johnny Cash

#11. I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate.
Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

#12. The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.
Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.

Janet Evanovich

#13. If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it, you're good as dead!

Janet Evanovich

#14. We're going to start the game at nil-nil and go out and try to get some goals.

Bryan Robson

#15. Well that's disappointing," Grandma Mazur said. "I expected something better from her.

Janet Evanovich

#16. [Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love
[Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.

Janet Evanovich

#17. Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air.

Janet Evanovich

#18. Less, but better.

Dieter Rams

#19. I shot that sucker right in the gumpy.
Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich