Top 63 Jack Benny Quotes
#1. I love getting on You Tube to look at the old comics. I am in my element seeing guys like Jack Benny and Phil Silvers give interviews.
Bruce Forsyth
#2. I was turning down cigarette campaigns before it became fashionable. I wouldn't let CBS Radio sell 'The Stan Freberg Show' to R.J. Reynolds and American Tobacco, which had sponsored Jack Benny, the man I replaced.
Stan Freberg
#3. If you look at Jack Benny, George Burns, or Don Rickles, they've all had long, successful marriages. So, I think there's something about laughter and the durability of a marriage.
Bob Newhart
#4. The greatest comedian I've ever seen is Jack Benny. He wasn't afraid of the silences.
Bob Newhart
#6. My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off!
Bob Hope
#7. When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
Fred Allen
#8. Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
Bob Hope
#9. I have often been told that I have many of the same mannerisms as Jack Benny and certainly Bob Cummings.
Dwayne Hickman
#10. I always used to sit next to Mel Blanc when we'd do the shows. When you have Jack Benny on one side and Mel Blanc on the other, you're not going to go far wrong.
Harry Shearer
#11. I consider you as old as you look and feel. And in that case I feel - I feel I'm about 39, like Jack Benny.
Joan Collins
#12. I've always been the king of silence. I've always been a minimalist comedian. I've taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was the king of that ... I've always done 'less is more.'
Albert Brooks
#13. My idol was Jack Benny and he was the master of subtlety and timing.
Don Knotts
#14. When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
#15. It's very, very corrupting to the spirit, doing comedy. And you have to be almost a saint, like Jack Benny was, like Steve Martin is, to avoid the corrupting of it, because there's very little work where the actual work and the reward are simultaneous, and comedy is that.
Mike Nichols
#16. Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
Bob Hope
#17. I could do John Wayne, Jack Benny, Jack Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson and entertain my friends. But I never seriously considered it as a career choice.
Phil Hartman
#18. Jack Benny had style from the beginning. He stood straight and walked kind of sideways as if he were being gently shoved by a touch of genius.
William, Saroyan
#19. I play trumpet. And I took all the music courses in college, so I can also play the string instruments, keyboard, the brass and woodwinds - but only well enough to teach them. If you put a violin in front of me, you wouldn't say, 'My God, that guy can play.' It'd probably sound more like Jack Benny.
Jon Tester
#20. When television began, it modeled itself after radio. Many early television programs were radio programs first. 'My Favorite Wife,' 'The Jack Benny Show,' 'Burns and Allen,' 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents.'
David Gerrold
#21. When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
Bob Hope
#22. Stand-up comedy is a very hard thing on the spirit. There are people who transcend it, like Jack Benny and Steve Martin, but in its essence, it's soul-destroying. It tends to turn people into control freaks.
Mike Nichols
#23. I have a very strong visual memory of the first time I made him laugh. That was remarkable. I was like, "Oh, God, I just made Jack Benny laugh."
Harry Shearer
#24. Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story.
Bob Newhart
#25. There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
Fred Allen
#26. I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.
Bob Newhart
#27. Everything good that happened to me happened by accident.
Jack Benny
#28. I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won't get worse.
Jack Benny
#29. Hell man, I know very well you didn't come to me only to want to become a writer, and after all what do I really know about it except that you've got to stick to it with the energy of a benny addict.
Jack Kerouac
#30. It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.
Jack Benny
#31. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Jack Benny
#32. When you talk about the world's greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank Sinatra got anywhere near him!
Jack Benny
#33. I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like ... well, Eichmann maybe.
Jack Benny
#34. There's only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc.
Jack Benny
#35. I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and overlooking the dump I'm living in.
Jack Benny
#36. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me except that I have a slight stomach pain. Wait till I get my hospital bill! Then I'll really have a pain the stomach!
Jack Benny
#37. Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents - that's my kind of guy.
Jack Benny
#38. I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.
Jack Benny
#39. I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.
Jack Benny
#40. No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.
Jack Benny
#41. I'm happy to be making my first appearance on air professionally. By that I mean I'm finally getting paid, which I know will be a great relief to my creditors.
Jack Benny
#42. I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.
Jack Benny
#43. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny
#44. I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip.
Jack Benny
#45. I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.
Jack Benny
#46. The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.
Jack Benny
#47. A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
Jack Benny
#48. Try to save something while your salary is small; it's impossible to save after you begin to earn more.
Jack Benny
#49. When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.
Jack Benny
#50. I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
Jack Benny
#51. I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.
Jack Benny
#52. As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.
Jack Benny
#54. My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jack Benny
#55. Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration, ridicule, ignorance, surprise, the pun, and finally, the comic situation.
Jack Benny
#56. Bill Paley is not only the greatest boss I ever had, but he's the most brilliant, honest and warm human being I've ever met. And I'll say that to his face - even if it costs me my job.
Jack Benny
#57. I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.
Jack Benny
#58. A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.
Jack Benny
#59. I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Jack Benny
#60. Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny
#61. I feel responsible for Johnny Ray's success. See many years ago I asked him to be on my show and he asked for a lot of money and I cried. And he stole that from me.
Jack Benny
#62. I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.
Jack Benny
#63. Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere
Jack Benny
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