Top 100 If I Was Dead Quotes
#1. In my lowest moments, the only reason I didn't commit suicide was that I knew I wouldn't be able to drink any more if I was dead.
Eric Clapton
#2. Being dead wasn't supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless
Kiersten White
#3. I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.
Fran Lebowitz
#4. Scully-'
'I screwed up.' Her hands again. 'Damnit, I screwed up.'
'Nope' [Mulder] said ... 'If I was dead, then you would have screwed up.' She saw the grin. 'Then I'd have to haunt you.'
'Mulder that's not funny.'
'But you don't believe in ghosts and goblins ...
Charles Grant
#5. I wouldn't call myself a coward, no way. But being buried alive is something I could never handle. The only way you'd see me being buried alive is if I was dead, man.
Usher
#6. If I was dead broke and had to feed my three children. I'd do anything.
Yolanda Foster
#7. If I was dead, I wouldn't know I was dead. That's the only thing I have against death. I want to enjoy my death.
Samuel Beckett
#8. I had to put my kid before my career and all the money I was making. I decided to do the right thing. I was dying inside. If I didn't have my daughter, I would be dead right now, for sure.
Brian Welch
#9. It's as if I died too,' she whispered to herself, 'as if I was born dead.'
Ironically, it was true. Emotionally she knew what her mind did not, beyond logic, beyond reason, as if somehow deep inside she felt what Sarah knew.
Denny Taylor
#10. It's almost as if the way you imagine my dead self says more about you than it says about either the person I was or the whatever I am now.
John Green
#11. Katherine -I wondered if this was how Dorothy felt when she woke up in Oz with all the little people squawking ding dong, the witch is dead.
Lorraine Beaumont
#12. Maybe I was just being paranoid. But that's the thing about the game. If you weren't paranoid, you were dead already.
Allison Van Diepen
#13. In person, if possible, Anubis was even more drop-dead gorgeous. [Oh ... ha, ha. I didn't catch the pun, but thank you, Carter. God of the dead, drop-dead gorgeous. Yes, hilarious. Now, may I continue?]
Rick Riordan
#14. A novel it's different. It's kind of exhilarating not to have to cut to the bone constantly. Oh, well I can go over here for a moment. I can say what I think the guy was thinking or what the day looked like or what the bird was doing. If you do that as a playwright, you're dead.
David Mamet
#15. When I played Dean Martin, he was dead when we made the movie but there would have been nothing better than to spend a week with Dean Martin if I could have.
Joe Mantegna
#16. As soon as I looked at Alphonse's face, I knew that he was dead. I had the strange feeling that I was dead myself. It felt as if I were lying at the bottom of a grave and earth was being thrown on me. When death takes someone you know, he holds you and whispers all his secrets in your ear.
Heather O'Neill
#17. You won't do anyone any good if you drop dead of exhaustion," she said to Harper once. I won't do anyone any good if I don't, Harper imagined saying back. I'm not doing anyone any good, one way or another. But she didn't say it. It would've been grief talking, and it was unfair to unload her sadness
Joe Hill
#18. I used to think that if none of your family or friends knew you were dead, it was like not really being dead. People can invent the best and the worst for you.
Celine
#19. I had the best sex of my life with a girl I had thought was way out of my league and in love with my dead brother. Yeah, Nash was probably right, if anybody could put up with all the crazy I was rocking I should probably lock her in quick because even I could see how seriously screwed up I am.
Jay Crownover
#20. My heart, as I closed the cabinet and rose to my feet, was a small dead creature. If I could bury it in the woods, I would.
Lauren Myracle
#21. I could hear him laughing. Son of a bit*h. I would kill him. I didn't care if he was coyote or the son of Satan.He was a dead man walking.
Patricia Briggs
#22. Imagine people calling you to find out if you're dead. I've led a real crazy life at times, and I've had many strange things happen to me, but that was one of the strangest.
Richard Pryor
#23. But, Mrs Van Hoosier, if I may make so bold-'
'You may not,' She inserted another cake into her mouth and chewed it so angrily I all but felt sorry for it. When it was finally dead she turned and fixed me a look, as though she were a scientist and I some kind of bug she was microscoping.
John Harding
#24. if you wanted to see me dead,you would whisper and i could kill self for you happiness it was a small thing but you made yourself corrupt for very small thing
Mohammed Zaki Ansari
#25. I was a terrible history student. They taught me history as if it were a visit to a wax museum or to the land of the dead. I was over twenty before I discovered that the past was neither quiet nor mute.
Eduardo Galeano
#26. In my confused state I wondered if I had not died and gone to hell. And if this was the case, I wished that I had been allowed more opportunities to sin, for this seemed a rather excessive judgement on what had been a frankly dull and blameless life. But I was not dead. I could see that now.
Chris Priestley
#27. If I was like some of the characters I played, I'd probably be dead by now.
Jennifer Tilly
#28. I opened both eyes. Dread was sitting on my chest as if it were an animal. I mean, dread so real it had physical presence, like a Labrador retriever I could teach tricks to. Here, Dread. Sit, Dread. Roll over, Dread. Play dead, Dread.
Claire Cook
#29. Of course she was bloody found dead." Moore grumbled. "Some bastard cut off her head and her limbs. If she'd been found alive I would have been more than bloody surprised.
Sarah Pinborough
#30. If the poor rabbits knew I was selling their dead bodies for wine, they would be heartbroken.
David Adams Richards
#31. Mom," said Peter, "nobody thinks you're a lackwit, if that's what you're worried about."
Lackwit? In what musty drawer of some dead English professor's dust-covered desk did you find that word? I assure you that never in my worst nightmares did I ever suppose that I was a lackwit.
Orson Scott Card
#32. When you look at pictures of people you know are dead, there is something different about the eyes. As if they anticipated their particular fate.It is a visceral recognition. I told myself I was getting too fanciful and went to bed.
John D. MacDonald
#33. I played the character knowing that she was knocked down, 100 percent, dead-in-front-of-a-bus in love with her boss. Every scene, I did not care if it was about taxes or about, you know, getting rid of the penny, it was all about me being in love with him.
Janel Moloney
#34. No one around me was doing anything, even making conversation. They were all just perfectly inert, laid out prone or supine as if submitting to autopsy or dissection. Only the dead or the lowest of species can bask, I'm convinced.
Joshua Cohen
#35. Trey, I thought that the Znou was beautiful and I wanted to keep it," I say, explaining myself to him. "I wasn't trying to kill myself. If I get suicidal, you'll know 'cuz I'll be dead. The only thing I'm feeling right now is homicidal, so watch your back.
Amy A. Bartol
#36. If you battle L, you picked the wrong head
I smash mics like cornbread
You can't kill me, I was born dead
Big L
#37. But it seemed so wrong, so scandalous, somehow so unreligious for a dead man to have to keep on fighting - or running, anyhow - that it made me sick at my stomach. I didn't want to have any more to do with the war if this was the way it was going to be
Shelby Foote
#38. Before I left the 'Star' last year to write books full-time, I welcomed catastrophe. It was material. Missed planes, broken pipes, dead lawns, digestive disorders, you name it, if it was something that had gone horribly wrong, it was worth banging out 600 words about.
Linwood Barclay
#39. I wanted to know if the 'Iliad' in the original was as relevant and contemporary as it was in translation. I then started Latin. I had finally found something I enjoyed and was good at: dead languages!
Caroline Lawrence
#40. Head's all empty, I don't care,' he'd sing to me, quoting the Grateful Dead, and I'd force a smile, thinking that my head was never empty and that if it ever was, you could be darn sure I'd care.
Jennifer Weiner
#41. Mami said nothing for a while, and then she went into her bedroom. I figured she was going to emerge with my father's Saturday-night special, the one thing of his that she'd kept when he left. To protect us, she claimed, but more likely to shoot my father dead if she ever saw him again.
Junot Diaz
#42. Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.
Mark Twain
#43. Tim was dead. And he's always been a loser. I'd be damned if I was going to be the victim of a loser - or anyone else.
Patricia Briggs
#44. He couldn't be serious. He was not accusing Marc of wanting me dead! If that wasn't the pot calling the kettle black, I'd ... I'd ... pound the shit out of the pot myself!
Rachel Vincent
#45. If being an asshole was all it took to get yourself killed, you and I would have been dead long ago.
Linwood Barclay
#46. I hate a Roman named Status Quo!' he said to me. 'Stuff your eyes with wonder, ' he said, 'live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask no guarantees, ask for no security, there never was such an animal.
Ray Bradbury
#47. If I talk about my father's funeral, as I did when I was promoting the last novel, 'Being Dead,' I'm not going to tell any lies, but there are certain things I'm not going to tell you, and I'm certainly not going to tell my grief.
Jim Crace
#48. For the past few weeks I have been laboring under the assumption that if people thought I was dead, they would stop annoying me and leave me alone.
I didn't respond right away. I examined his statement from every angle, and while I admired the logic, the cockeyed optimism left me cold.
Gary Reilly
#49. She left me. All this time she was gone, I didn't know if she was dead or just didn't want me. But now it doesn't matter. I choose my new parents and I choose my friends. I choose the family I made. I choose me.
Madeleine Roux
#50. We need to be together."
"Why?" I asked softly. The word was carried away on the wind, but he heard.
"Because I want you."
I gave him a sad smile, wondering if we'd meet again in the land of the dead. "Wrong answer," I told him.
I let go
Richelle Mead
#51. The problem was that there was no treatment. No cure. There was nothing that ... any medical professional could do. If I'd been fully human, I would have been a dead girl walking ...
Jennifer Lynn Barnes
#52. If I had the power to resurrect, I'd use it on you." Now he was the one whispering. "There's an important part of you that's dead: the part that cares.
Dia Reeves
#53. I know to you she's just another dead prostitute, but she was my baby. Promise me you'll find her killer so we can put our baby to rest. Promise me, because if you don't find him, I will.
Toni Anderson
#54. We are all our own graveyards, I believe; we squat amongst the tombs of the people we were. If we're healthy, every day is a celebration, a Day of the Dead, in which we give thanks for the lives that we lived, and if we are neurotic we brood and mourn and wish that the past was still present.
Clive Barker
#55. Sometimes I'd hide him under the covers (Rory, not the mailman) so that when Victor turned down the bed there was Rory on his pillow, as if to say, SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER! THERE'S A DEAD RACCOON IN YOUR BED AND HE WANTS SOME SNUGGLIN'.
Jenny Lawson
#56. I had to figure out if I was happier being with a live woman or living with the memories of a dead one.
Rebecca Forster
#57. It wouldn't have mattered if they were scratches or not," he says, his voice like liquid. "I was bitten during the escape from the house." My limbs go weak, everything inside me folding in collapsing on itself.
"I was already dead," he says, opening his eyes.
Carrie Ryan
#58. Sometimes I wonder if he wasn't born dead. I never met a man who was less interested in the living. Sometimes I think that's the trouble with the world: too many people in high places who are stone-cold dead.
Kurt Vonnegut
#59. One thing I had learnt, the last person you should ask for a solution is the author. If he knew where he was going, he'd stop dead in his tracks.
Iain Sinclair
#60. We the living, should not think of the dead as lonely because if they could speak to us, they would say: "Do not weep for me, earth was not my true country, I was an alien there: I am at Home where everyone comes."
Helen Keller
#61. I see you're not dead." Duncan couldn't be sure from the man's tone if he was pleased or disappointed. Mostly he sounded annoyed.
"Good to see you, too, Loghain," Maric chuckled tiredly.
David Gaider
#62. As an actor, whatever I get the opportunity to do, if it has a good story then I'm in. I thought 'Dead End' had a great story; 'Nightmare on Elm Street,' of course, was probably the first real horror film I was in.
Lin Shaye
#63. Well, Ms. Fontaine, you look damn good for a dead woman."
Her response was to narrow her eyes, arch a brow. "If that's some sort of cop humor, I'm afraid you'll have to translate.
Nora Roberts
#64. When did you get so peppy?" she shouted.
"Ever since I assumed I was dead, then I suddenly wasn't."
"Then remind me to try to kill you once in a while," she snapped. "If I succeed, it will make me feel better, and if I fail, it will make you feel better. Everyone wins!
Brandon Sanderson
#65. And feast on the dead, I thought with a shudder. As if he could read my thoughts, he pressed a hand to my shoulder. His fingers were long and white, splaying over my arm like a waxen spider. If the gesture was meant to comfort me, it failed.
Leigh Bardugo
#66. I would say that if you don't believe that Jesus of Nazareth was the Christ and Messiah, and that he rose again from the dead and by his sacrifice our sins are forgiven, you're really not in any meaningful sense a Christian.
Christopher Hitchens
#67. I would have been dead if it weren't for that great gift to civilization from the Chemistry Department of Harvard, which was napalm, or sticky jellied gasoline.
Kurt Vonnegut
#68. 'Entertainment Tonight' would send me out to do interviews with musicians like Sting and Coldplay, and I was able to watch how they plan their shows. The late Jerry Garcia of Grateful Dead always had a game plan, but he also was flexible if he had to change something at the last minute.
John Tesh
#70. Not easy to state the change you made.
If I'm alive now, I was dead,
Though, like a stone, unbothered by it.
Sylvia Plath
#71. For the narrative to exist, so that it could be read and reread even if I was taken away. Stories outlive their writers all the time. We know plenty about Goethe and Charles Dickens from what they chose to tell, even though they have been dead for years.
Jodi Picoult
#72. If I had known the world was ending, I'd have brought better books.
The Walking Dead
#73. I play games on-set at work. Sometimes I can't remember people's names, so I start throwing out clues. Like if I can't think of George Clooney, I'll say, 'You know, drop-dead gorgeous, was on a big TV show ... ' Until someone says his name, I can't finish my story!
Andie MacDowell
#74. If I were pressed, I would admit that she was beautiful, in a dead bride sort of way.
Melika Dannese Lux
#75. If a cone had dropped on velvet needles, if a star had lain a silver track across the sky, if the dead had turned in their graves - I swear, I would have heard it, that's how silent it all was.
Martha Grimes
#76. But don't worry," she continued. "Most snakes don't want to hurt you. If you're out in the bush and a snake comes along, just stop dead and let it slide over your shoes."
This, I decided, was the least-likely-to-be-followed advice I have ever been given.
Bill Bryson
#77. If I was a nobody you wouldn't be so eager to see me dead. Just like these people you know that I am devoted to the truth. That is why you want to eliminate me. - Magda Searus
Terry Goodkind
#78. I wondered vaguely if this was when it would end, whether I would pull up tonight's darkness like a quilt and be dead and at peace evermore.
William Manchester
#79. I wish I was dead, or that it were tomorrow night," groaned Phil.
"If you live long enough both wishes will come true," said Anne calmly.
L.M. Montgomery
#80. By the time Vizzini fell over, dead, I'd finished my popcorn and put the bag down. I wanted some more. It seemed like the beast was always hungry. I wondered, if I was transformed back, would I be fat?
Alex Flinn
#81. Ronan and I have always had a fucked up way of going about things. The first time he fucked me, it was next to my dead boyfriend's body. The first blowjob, in a basement he uses to kill people. He isn't at all sweet. But if I wanted sugar, I'd eat a fucking cupcake.
A. Zavarelli
#82. If she thought I was about to do the whole "have a conversation with the villain" thing, she was dead wrong. I raised one hand while the other reached into my waistband for the grimoire. One super magical destructo-blast coming up.
Rachel Hawkins
#83. Laura Bush has the face of my mother when my mother was young. The face, the body, the voice. The first time I saw on TV Laura Bush, I got frozen because it was as if my mother was not dead. 'Oh, Mama,' I said, 'Mama.'
Oriana Fallaci
#84. Also, it'd be kinda hard to be together if I was in prison."
"What are you talking about?" Helen asked, suddenly alarmed. "Why would you go to prison?"
"For killing the guy that took your virginity," he replied. "You I would forgive. But the guy? Dead man.
Josephine Angelini
#85. I wondered if it was possible to donate my body to science before I was actually dead. I wondered if a disease were to be named after me what the symptoms would be.
Miriam Toews
#86. Bram was staring at me in dibelief, as if I were trying to persuade him that his entire existencce as a dead man was simply an incredibly realistic dream.
Lia Habel
#87. And I know Blake had a bunch of fucking problems going on the night he was shot. But Mouse here made sure the hired guns were dead before they could hurt him. I don't know if I get to call him a hero, if that's allowed, because I'm a bad man, and he was my friend. But he was a hero to me.
Debra Anastasia
#88. There was no mistaking her daughter's handwriting. And the words... "If you're reading this, I'm already dead.
Elizabeth Heiter
#89. The truth is, I probably would be dead if I had become a star, because at that point I was so closeted and so afraid of people of finding out I was gay. There was no telling what would have happened.
Shane McAnally
#90. I wondered again if I might not actually be dead-if this was some terrible version of death, which I had momentarily mistaken for a continuation of life.
Elizabeth Kostova
#91. He took the spatula and smiled, and she headed for the bedroom, only stopping once to see if he was watching her ass wiggle under his shirt.
He chuckled. "I'd have to be dead not to look."
"I'm glad to see you're in good health." She grinned.
Lisa Kessler
#92. The dead aren't the only ones who vanish: you, too, can disappear in plain sight if enough is taken from you. I was still missing, in many ways. And I wasn't sure I wanted to be found.
Sarah Dessen
#93. I couldn't draw anything that was too outlandish or too horrible. I never did that. What I did draw was something intriguing. There was something about this monster that you could live with. If you saw him you wouldn't faint dead away.
Jack Kirby
#94. Love can die. It can be killed, no matter how alive it was, it's not invulnerable. Mine's dead. It's dead and it's buried. I just want one thing more, and that's the chance to look him in the face and tell him he's nothing. If I can do that one thing, it'll be enough.
J.D. Robb
#95. For myself, I believed that that 13th of March should see a fight to the finish, cost what it might! for if Bloemfontein was to be taken, it would only be over our dead bodies.
Christiaan Rudolf De Wet
#96. If I'm dead right now, I know it was at your hand. No one else in heaven or hell had power over me. Please don't cry, I was dead before I met you, I was born the day you loved me, and my love for you will keep me alive.. Forever.
Unknown
#97. I felt confident that she wouldn't find out what a chicken I was,because after the comp,if I hadn't gone off the jump,I would be dead of shame.And if I had gone off the jump,I would be just plain dead.
Jennifer Echols
#98. Pledge Allegiance was a pretty generic name back in the day. In the 80's I was the promoter for all the punk rock shows and I'd book Black Flag, Dead Kennedy's, Minor Threat etc and I'd hook them up with places to stay if needed so it's hard to keep track of it all.
Reed Mullin
#99. It was a real treat when he'd read me Daisy Miller out loud. But we'd reached the point in our relationship when, in a straight choice between him and Henry James, I'd have taken Henry James any day even if Henry James were dead and not much of a one for the girls when living, either.
Angela Carter
#100. You don't listen do you? Go away." ... "You don't listen," he said.
Why wouldn't he just leave? I was going to burn up, anyway, with fire creeping up my arms to consume me. My eyes ached with fresh tears. I hated crying.
"But if you listened," he murmured, "I'd be dead.
Jodi Meadows
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