If I Knew Then What I Know Now Funny Quotes

#1. I don't understand you, Pigeon. I thought I knew women, but you're so fucking confusing I don't know which way is up."
"I don't understand you, either. You're supposed to be Eastern's ladies' man. I'm not getting the full freshmen experience they promised in the brochure," I teased.

Jamie McGuire

#2. The big-budget blockbuster is becoming one of the most dependable forms of filmmaking.

Peter Jackson

#3. I knew I wanted to be in show business so I took the path of least resistance. I loved comedy. But you never know you are funny until people laugh. It's just what I was interested in. I could make people laugh, I guess, but doing it at school and doing it onstage are very different things.

Steve Martin

#4. What's funny is that with my comedies I don't believe they're my best screenplays necessarily. They're just the ones that I wrote that I knew I could get financing, you know? I believe my other films could be better, but right now they're not being made. But they will eventually.

Julie Delpy

#5. And I thought I knew him. I knew him; I repeat it in my head bitterly. It's a funny thing to say, you know, to think that you know someone. Well, maybe once I DID know him, but I just wasn't smart enough to notice him change, because people do change, sometimes we just choose not to notice it.

Melanie Sargsian

#6. I knew I was in deep shit. I didn't know how deep - just that I still hadn't touched bottom.

Sol Luckman

#7. Sometimes you do know, in 'Commando' when I said 'I lied', I knew that it was going to be a funny line. I've never had a bad line.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

#8. 'The Simpsons' appearances were great fun. But I don't take them too seriously. I think 'The Simpsons' have treated my disability responsibly.

Stephen Hawking

#9. His one-eight feels a whole lot bigger when I spend time hanging around in his grey matter.

Neal Shusterman

#10. Stop punishing yourself if you scared of your memories with me. Don't do that ... Just stab me like this not you. It is only when you can stand on your feet that I can disappear with easy from your sight.

Ma-Roo

#11. You know what you are, Sam Brody?" she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. "A big, fat tease." They both knew there wasn't an ounce of fat on him. They also both knew exactly what she meant.

Jill Shalvis

#12. I'm funny all the time. You just never knew until now.

Jasinda Wilder

#13. Inej was always trying to wring little bits of decency from him.

Leigh Bardugo

#14. One thing I knew for sure, it was gonna suck (hahahahaha, I know, wicked funny).

Kathleen Tierney

#15. I'm going to take a shower," I said and prepared for the comment I knew was coming.
"You know what they say, conserve water and shower with a friend.

Chelsea M. Cameron

#16. I am not forgotten, you know, no, I still receive a very great deal of fan mail.
... Gladys Gudgeon writes weekly ... I just wish I knew why ... "
He paused, looking faintly puzzled, then beamed again and returned to his signing with renewed vigor. "I suspect it is simply my good looks ...

J.K. Rowling

#17. He gave me a rueful smile, his brown eyes so endearing. I could tell he was about to say something funny. I just knew him that well. That's like asking if I'm a fan of cancer. I fucking hate it, but do I know how to get rid of it? Not fucking likely.

R.K. Lilley

#18. I definitely knew I wanted to be an actor in high school. I was doing plays and musicals, and I loved 'Saturday Night Live' and thought that was what I wanted to do - funny sketches and comedies. So I knew then, but I didn't know how to go about it, but I found my way.

Jerry Trainor

#19. You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.

Bill Burr

#20. Dark, cool, musty, smoky, where light fell funny and everyone looked like someone you knew or wanted to know. Or, more likely, wanted to forget.

David Baldacci

#21. I put my soul into every book I write.

Wilbur Smith

#22. God, Packard! Do you know how hard I worked at
it?" I twist up the napkin and whip it at him.
He deflects it. "There we go; I knew you could do it."
My mouth falls open. "Very funny."
He just laughs.
"I can't believe you!

Carolyn Crane

#23. The electricity devours my soul, fractures it open, and leaves it vulnerable and exposed.

Jessica Sorensen