Ian Holloway Quotes

#1. In the papers this morning: 'Police closing in on Ian Holloway.' Sorry, it's 'Palace closing in on Ian Holloway.'

Alan Brazil

#2. Roy Keane's like a shark. He has those eyes. You don't know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.

Ian Holloway

#3. The picture that we have of ourselves - our self-concept - will always determine how we respond to life.

Myles Munroe

#4. I try not to and I don't think I ever have just jumped at any opportunity because a company wanted me. Just because there was money on the table doesn't mean that I took it.

Tim Howard

#5. You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

Ian Holloway

#6. It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.

Ian Holloway

#7. My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that's the truth.

Ian Holloway

#8. My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman ... she would be spending all night with Berbatov.

Ian Holloway

#9. I wanted to be an actor, and when that day happened that was sort of like the end. Now let it take me.

Bryan Brown

#10. I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!

Ian Holloway

#11. Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid ... you should always be aiming for a top half finish

Ian Holloway

#12. I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.

Ian Holloway

#13. Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.

Ian Holloway

#14. This club needs an impetus of energy - but I just feel tired to be honest. I'm worn out.

Ian Holloway

#15. If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb

Ian Holloway

#16. The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we've got to get a dietician.

Ian Holloway

#17. There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.

Ian Holloway

#18. Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don't think. I think he's useless you can quote me on that.

Ian Holloway

#19. My ceiling's broken, my car's got a puncture and we've just lost two matches. But I've got my health and I'll ask the big man upstairs why he didn't give us a point.

Ian Holloway

#20. He's going to be what?! Oh for God's sake. Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird.

Ian Holloway

#21. I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.

Ian Holloway

#22. I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.

Ian Holloway

#23. Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.

Ian Holloway

#24. What is this place? Heaven? <> Ha. <> You're supposed to say, It's Iowa.

Rainbow Rowell

#25. Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.

Ian Holloway

#26. I've got four women in my house - my wife and my three daughters - and I tell you what, it's pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we're out shopping I try and look in a man's shop while they make their minds up.

Ian Holloway

#27. I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don't half polish up great.

Ian Holloway

#28. [T]he question actors most often get asked is how they can bear saying the same things over and over again night after night, but God knows the answer to that is, don't we all anyway; might as well get paid for it.

Elaine Dundy