I Wish You Were My Girlfriend Quotes

#1. I mean, you can't have sex until you're married if you're Mormon. The first time I had sex, my parents found out. They were listening in on the phone while I was talking about sex to my girlfriend. They freaked out, man. They both cornered me in my bedroom.

Bert McCracken

#2. I went to church. It didn't help. In those days that was the best place to meet a girlfriend. In church! All of us praying to be different.

Jeffrey Eugenides

#3. When your girlfriend broke your heart, don't even say a word, just smile because she gives you the opportunity to find someone better than her.

Werley Nortreus

#4. My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?'

Trey Parker

#5. I'm somebody's ex-wife, and I did things that drove him nuts. And now I'm somebody's girlfriend, for many years, and I've got different things that drive him nuts.

Nicole Holofcener

#6. My idea of hell is a girlfriend ringing up and saying, 'Let's go shopping and have cocktails.' I'd rather play cards.

Alison Moyet

#7. I'm so in love with the United States. Not as a patriot. I'm in love with America like it's my first girlfriend. The geography, the people, the smell, the touch, the taste, the gas stations. I'm madly in love with America.

Vincent Gallo

#8. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

Rodney Dangerfield

#9. My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.

Steven Wright

#10. Cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder.

Simone Elkeles

#11. There are things some people can never understand.there's no point to telling them.

Chetan Bhagat

#12. When I was in Japan with my girlfriend Jessica, she would have had acupuncture every day if she could. I can just about stomach going to a chiropractor and I visited a talented one when I was there, but when he tried a needle on me, it was horrible. My muscles tightened and it didn't work at all.

Jenson Button

#13. I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.

Demetri Martin

#14. Sometimes guys are so concerned with being cool and hanging out with their friends. They don't want to seem like the guy that 'has to call his girlfriend.' It's just boys growing up.

Kristin Cavallari

#15. So many female characters are the girlfriend of the person having the adventure. I want to play baseball, I don't want to be the girlfriend of the one [who plays].

Geena Davis