Humorous Comebacks Quotes

#1. I see we have a problem.' Lucas gripped her other arm and gave her a non-too-gentle shake. 'Are you in a relationship? or...' Those dark eyes searching hers narrowed into slits. 'Are you married?

C.C. MacKenzie

#2. I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us where people don't talk politics.

Oscar Wilde

#3. (About a cookbook ... )
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor ... but they ends up Tarts.

Terry Pratchett

#4. If he's the person i think he is, he'll handle it just right" Tarah had said. "If not, your better off without him.

Paul Langan

#5. -"He loved her ... It was noble of him. It was beautiful."
-"It was stupid.

Lloyd Alexander

#6. Term limits mean that you don't trust the voters. 'Stop me before I vote again.'

Garry Wills

#7. Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you.

Carroll Bryant

#8. That has to be one of the dumbest phrases Christians use: "finding God's will." We don't have to "find" God's will, because it's not lost. "The Lord ... is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance" (2 Peter 3:9 NKJV). His will is that we be involved in that mission.

J.D. Greear

#9. I love the Queen. I've had a crush on her since I was eight.

Jools Holland

#10. Forgive me ... I called you an idiot. I spoke too hastily. You are not. Had I given it more thought, I would have called you a scoundrel.

Lloyd Alexander

#11. She stops chewing and brings the chains on her wrist up to her nose and sniffs. She pulls away with a mild disgusted expression. Definitely smells like a skank ...

J.A. Redmerski

#12. Screw you," I told him in a low voice.
"Are you offering?"
"From what I've heard, there isn't much to screw," I shot back.

Richelle Mead

#13. I don't mind your calling me a clog, if only we were fastened together."
"But I do mind you calling me a donkey," he replied.

Elizabeth Gaskell

#14. And the challenge in the next round would be determined by the winner of this test. "Like, what, the DOM-matrix?" ~Tara Reese

Lucian Bane

#15. Any time I see anything moving onstage, I'm cautious about it.

Pitbull

#16. I forgot my purse of laughter when I dressed this mornin'," she told me. "Have you not bought anythin' the last few days? Prices have gone up. Pay or starve, it's all one to me.

Tamora Pierce

#17. Well, first of all, we did lots of studies where we show practical intelligence doesn't correlate with G. We have probably two dozen studies that practical intelligence better predicts job success than IQ.

Robert Sternberg