Humorous Animal Quotes

#1. I mumble my vows, Shad mutters his, and I wonder what would happen if I lunged for the door like a wild animal seeking its freedom. I could probably outrun his one-legged friend, but Shad has something of the greyhound about him.

Janet Mullany

#2. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Jesus Christ

#3. Tell me, Mr. Bennet, how can we amuse you during your visit? Do you hunt?" Lady Catherine was spooning her turtle soup, blowing delicately to cool it.
"I am certain an animal would sooner die of laughter than gunshot wound if I even made the attempt.

Karen V. Wasylowski

#4. The first animals to be successfully domesticated were dogs, which were a big help because they would bark all night and fetch thrown sticks, thereby freeing humans from having to perform these tedious yet vital tasks.

Dave Barry

#5. After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was "Don't."

Bill Cosby

#6. At the dockside I was pleasantly surprised to find the North wasn't all hairy men in animal skins. There was also hairy women in animal skins.

Mark Lawrence

#7. Eighty percent of all questions are statements in disguise.

Phil McGraw

#8. My dog hasn't said a word all day, he must have a lot on his mind

Seth Czerepak

#9. When I say "dogs", I'm talking about dogs, which are large, bounding, salivating animals, usually with bad breath. I am not talking about those little squeaky things you can hold on your lap and carry around. Zoologically speaking, these are not dogs at all; they are members of the pillow family.

Dave Barry

#10. The human spirit needs places where nature has not been re-arranged by the hand of man.

Anonymous

#11. Among wilderness survival tips, punching a wild animal in the face probably isn't on a checklist.

Kat Kruger

#12. Now she said, "I'm up to the four-letter words." And I said, "You mean the dirty ones, like shit?" And she laughed and said, "Worse ones than that." And I said, "You mean the c-word and the f-word?" and she said, "No. Like love.

Margaret Atwood

#13. If you were an animal, what would you be?" I wrote, "A bumblebee trying to fuck a marble.

Wells Tower

#14. Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

Mark Twain

#15. I was walking around with the babies so much that when I got to the Sidney Lumet picture, I would be on set in between takes and I'd be rocking back and forth. Just standing like this rocking back and forth, and Sidney would say, Why are you walking like that in between takes?

Vin Diesel

#16. Honoring the moment is honoring every human being you meet. The only place where you can meet them is in the moment.

Eckhart Tolle

#17. If you don't think you have enough problems, you should acquire a mammal in Sweden just hours before you're about to fly home to the other side of the world, and then insist that the animal must come along in your luggage.

Jonas Jonasson

#18. Is there any thinking animal like man?

Lailah Gifty Akita