Humor Programming Quotes

#1. I think you're something wonderful.

N.R. Walker

#2. Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.

Steve Jobs

#3. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Douglas Adams

#4. I can follow pretty much every programming language out there, I can make a two-hundred-year-old diary out of some really nasty ingredients, I can even make sense out of the instruction booklets that come with IKEA furniture, but I can*not* make heads or tails of this nonsense right here.

Keith R.A. DeCandido

#5. When I started writing
I was a sick teenaged
fuck inside who partly
thought I was the new
Marquis de Sade, a body
doomed to communicate
with Satan who was us-
ing my sickness as his
home away from home,
and there's your proof.

Dennis Cooper

#6. I think one of the prophets stuttered when he dictated your specs," Jal said, snickering. "Or the gene-splicer was daydreaming about his high-status trueborn love and he botched your programming.

Karen Sandler

#7. It should be noted that no ethically -trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.

Nathaniel S. Borenstein

#8. We welcome the scrutiny of the world - because what you see in America is a country that has steadily worked to address our problems and make our union more perfect.

Barack Obama

#9. The problem with our society is that our values aren't in the right place. There's an awful lot of bleeding and naked bodies on prime-time networks, but not nearly enough cable television on public programming.

Bauvard

#10. Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Daniel Keys Moran

#11. It is the fear of being as dependent as a young child, while not being loved as a child is loved, but merely being kept alive against one's will.

Malcolm Cowley

#12. I once generalized from a single data point, and I'll never do that again!

Carlos Bueno

#13. Sometimes you cannot program around stupid.

David Ferrell

#14. Talk is cheap. Show me the code.

Linus Torvalds

#15. Surround yourself with people strong enough to change your mind.

John Wooden

#16. God has given me the bread of adversity and the water of trouble ...

Anne Askew

#17. Her assignment had been to write a simple Sumerian code for preserving a jar of pickled eggs. (To the programming-inclined reader, this is the magical equivalent of "HELLO WORLD.")

Sorin Suciu

#18. Most non-programmers don't think of plaintext like that. To them, text files feel like filling in tax forms for an angry robotic auditor that yells at them if they forget a single semicolon.

Robert Nystrom

#19. If you've never had a mother or a father, you grow up seeking something you're never going to find, ever. You seek it in love and in people and in beauty.

Gloria Vanderbilt

#20. Hurt me?" he asked. "How would you do that? By taking away everything I love? Everything I honour? You're too late, Hannah. Far too late. Fallon already did that."
Claire's terrible feeling suddenly condensed into a heavy, sickening weight. "He took Jesse," she said. "Fallon took Jesse.

Rachel Caine

#21. Is that the only way?" Tom asked her. "Vik and I tried net-sending with a thought interface during Programming once, but I couldn't concentrate on just one thing at a time."

Vik nodded. "His programming questions were always like, 'Vik, how do steak boobs function?

S.J. Kincaid

#22. The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see gun violence.

Bauvard

#23. We have always tried to be guided by the basic idea that, in the discovery of knowledge, there is great entertainment - as, conversely, in all good entertainment, there is always some grain of wisdom, humanity, or enlightenment to be gained.

Walt Disney Company

#24. Thinking happy thoughts literally creates a positive chemical change in the brain which stimulates both positive physical and psychological benefits.

Deepak Chopra

#25. It has all the right ingredients: rich contents, friendly, personal language, subtle humor, the right references, and a plethora of pointers to resources.

Steven S. Skiena

#26. Like so many things in software, MVC was invented by Smalltalkers in the seventies. Lispers probably claim they came up with it in the sixties but didn't bother writing it down.

Robert Nystrom

#27. Keep moving!"
"Bea's arguing with the floor.

Joel N. Ross