Humor Cowboy Quotes

#1. She needed to come with an instructional manual. And one not written in Spanish.

Kelly Moran

#2. I let her do some of my laundry and she slipped in a few meals in between, and next thing I remember, she was all moved in.

Jackson Browne

#3. I refer to jet lag as 'jet-psychosis - there's an old saying that the spirit cannot move faster than a camel.

Spalding Gray

#4. My friend Kathy is the only person who'll be halfway honest with me. 'Did you ever see a cowboy film, where someone has been caught by the Indians and tied between two wild stallions, each pulling in opposite directions?' she asked.
I nodded mutely.
'That's a bit what giving birth is like.

Marian Keyes

#5. Preach the message of grace which alone can save anyone.

Paul Silway

#6. All the latchkey children cursed and smashed bottles, teased about underwear, and puffed on those unfiltered cigarettes that only the cowboys could roll.

Bremer Acosta

#7. The monsters are in your own head.

Paula Cole

#8. Saint Bo, a man christened with the miraculous ability to gentle horses, nervous women, and one year olds.

Becky Wade

#9. Hey. Hands off.",
"Please. Please, please, soooo pretty. Lemme just have one little touch."
"Peabody, isn't it embarrassing enough you're wearing pink cowboy boots, again, without standing here drooling on my coat?

J.D. Robb

#10. When you truly have fun on the set it translates into a funny show on tv.

Olivia Stuck

#11. A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!

Bill Maher

#12. Best surprise ever." I whispered in his face. Then I leaned in and kissed him hard and deep like it was the last kiss I'd ever get.
"Wrong darlin', best hello ever." He grinned

K. Larsen

#13. When William came to Kyle's aid, he told them that there's nothing wrong with being gay, and that his Uncle Jerry is gay, and that the boys should just-" Lenore smiled a little. "uh... 'cowboy up'.

D.W. Marchwell

#14. His icy lovecicle pressed against her dewy portal, demanding admittance to her passion chamber. How did a guy with no heartbeat, no pulse, get an erection? Who cares?

Nine Naughty Novelists

#15. Now you are thinking like a thief. Fewer guns and more exits. We'll cure your cowboy ways yet. (Vidocq)

Richard Kadrey

#16. When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

John Rippon

#17. Your power is in your individuality, in being exactly who you area.

Jennifer Lopez

#18. we cannot rely on the love of other people to sustain us. People will come and go. It is only the love of the Lord that endures." I

Andrea Joy Wenburg

#19. Should I slap a cowboy hat on you and call you Sissy?

Roni Loren

#20. This can't last. This misery can't last. I must remember that and try to control myself. Nothing lasts really. Neither happiness nor despair. Not even life lasts very long

Celia Johnson

#21. Moderation has never yet engineered an explosion

Ellen Glasgow

#22. Orgasms are a myth. Like good credit scores.

Kelly Moran

#23. I thought about telling him the truth: 'Oh, nothing. Just having my soul exorcised so I can roam around
purgatory, looking for the ghost of the dead cowboy who used to live in my bedroom.

Meg Cabot

#24. But desperation does funny things to a person. Makes you grasp for any sliver of hope. Makes you throw rational thought and logic out the window. Makes you act in ways you would never have imagined possible. Turns strong men into weak. Honest men into liars.

Siobhan Davis

#25. Oh. Momma told me not to tell you that your bed squeaks. But I think you know, 'cause I could hear it this morning. Jake dropped his fork. Tor, for the first time Jake had ever seen, turned scarlet. Maureen looked at them both and sighed. Christmas is always so interesting with you, Mark.

Chris Owen

#26. Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.

Patton Oswalt

#27. Going to Chicago was like going out of the world ...

Muddy Waters

#28. Here is the fate of the man: To appear and to disappear!

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#29. I presume that you are compassionate: to be without pity means to be sick in body and spirit. But one should have spirit in abundance, so as to be permitted to be compassionate! For your pity is detrimental to you and to everyone.

Friedrich Nietzsche

#30. Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.

Will Rogers