Hemorrhoid Quotes

#1. Sir, this lane is for ten items or less. I'm counting thirteen items in your cart, including that hemorrhoid cream. And while hemorrhoids might give you a reason to be nasty, they don't give you a reason to be in this lane.

J.A. Konrath

#2. You know nothing. You're nothing but a skank-ass, pencil-dick hemorrhoid. And you smell like anal leakage." "Say what?

Janet Evanovich

#3. I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it? And what slogan is apropos? Perhaps that slogan can be sewn in needlepoint around the ruffle on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow.

P. J. O'Rourke

#4. ...any guy can buy you flowers, but the one who buys you hemorrhoid cream must really, really love you.

Risa Green

#5. She just wanted to know where we got the materials for your costume so she can be a hemorrhoid next year.

Colleen Hoover

#6. The water was supposed to look like molten lava, although it actually looked far more like blood (for which reason every kid in town called the volcano Mount Hemorrhoid).

Stuart Gibbs

#7. I like ye fat, Sassenach," he said softly. "Fat and juicy as a plump wee hen. I like it fine.

Diana Gabaldon

#8. Basic fact of life: no matter how far you run, you always take yourself with you.

K.J. Parker

#9. Puberty hit me very hard, and I basically had no use for school once I discovered the guitar.

Rick Springfield

#10. Those who are not dissatisfied will never make any progress

Shigeo Shingo

#11. So you see and judge the present through the eyes of the past and get a totally distorted view of it.

Eckhart Tolle

#12. Rain is simple, umbrella is simple; umbrella under rain is the magical meeting of these beautiful simples!

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#13. The Citizens Commission on Human Rights, a lobby group created by the Church of Scientology that runs the psychiatry museum, maintains that no mental diseases have ever been proven to exist.

Lawrence Wright

#14. Ideology on which the Kyoto Protocol is based, is a new form of totalitarian ideology, along with Marxism, Communism and socialism.

Andrey Illarionov

#15. I aim to be translucent, so you don't notice the words, just their meaning. I haven't much insight into people's motivations.

Ken Follett

#16. When I first came to the Bay area, I worked in Silicon Valley in the early to mid-'90s, and I think what mattered then was our ability as designers to create a vision around people's ideas.

Yves Behar

#17. Power said to the world,
"You are mine."
The world kept it prisoner on her throne.
Love said to the world, "I am thine."
The world gave it the freedom of her house.

Rabindranath Tagore

#18. I'm tired. I'm going back to bed.

George Reeves