Glasbergen Quotes

#1. Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times.

Randy Glasbergen

#2. Who dares not speak his free thought is a slave.

Euripides

#3. Honey, when you say we can't communicate... what exactly do you mean?

Randy Glasbergen

#4. I think men were destined to become homemakers. After all, who ever heard of "Ms. Clean" or the "Woman from Glad"?

Randy Glasbergen

#5. Once you have personally experienced enlightenment, you will see beyond the ocean of death to the everlasting shores of immortality.

Frederick Lenz

#6. I don't know whether my husband is a genius or not, but he certainly has a dirty mind.

Nora Barnacle

#7. Pain both ways and what is worse?

Aeschylus

#8. Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3

Randy Glasbergen

#9. I learned about stress management from my kids. Every night after work, I drink some chocolate milk, eat sugary cereal straight from the box, then run around the house in my underwear screaming like a monkey.

Randy Glasbergen

#10. What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?

Randy Glasbergen

#11. These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I'm going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I'm going to write a novel and a symphony and give all the profits to charity. Then next month, I'll figure out how to do it.

Randy Glasbergen

#12. I don't know why we'd need so many more prisons when the crooks seem so happy in the Senate.

Jack Layton

#13. Of course I can accept you for who you are. You are someone I need to change.

Randy Glasbergen

#14. What is important is that one strives to achieve a goal.

Ronald Reagan

#15. An important re-engineering principle is that companies should focus on their core competence and outsource everything else.

Bill Gates

#16. And you know, we did it as an independent film, and we weren't expecting it to be on television, and Lifetime ended up buying it. And the viewers responded intensely to that film.

Jenna Elfman

#17. Mindfulness helps us get better at seeing the difference between what's happening and the stories we tell ourselves about what's happening, stories that get in the way of direct experience. Often such stories treat a fleeting state of mind as if it were our entire and permanent self.

Sharon Salzberg

#18. It's called 'reading'. It's how people install new software into their brains.

Randy Glasbergen

#19. Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.

Randy Glasbergen

#20. He gave me a copy of The Declaration of Independence, then he got a tattoo that says Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death. I think my boyfriend wants his freedom.

Randy Glasbergen

#21. In the end, the overriding factor in whether or not you realize your dreams is going to be you. Not the world. YOU.

Russell Simmons

#22. You do know you're one of the hot ones, right? You could have any dom in this room if you looked marginally more approachable than an underfed piranha having a bad day.

Alexis Hall

#23. I don't think there's any clever way for the establishment to take Donald Trump down. It's very simple. Another candidate is going to have to find a way either to out-maneuver him, or to just frankly beat him in the argument.

Dalia Mogahed

#24. You can't compartmentalize unforgiveness. You can't control sin. You can't manage sin. Sin is never satisfied with the amount of you it possesses.

Johnny Hunt

#25. Tiffany was not afraid of heights at all. She could walk past tall trees without batting an eyelid. Looking up at huge towering mountains didn't bother her a bit.
What she was afraid of, although she hadn't realized it up until this point, was depths.

Terry Pratchett