
Top 15 Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend Quotes
#1. The lips on my upper right bicep are my girlfriend's lips. She has the most amazing lips, and I wanted to carry them around with me everywhere I go, considering I can't carry her lips physically with me. So I decided to place them in a discreet location, such as the inside part of my bicep.
Jake Owen
#2. My last girlfriend was a Showgirl - But we eventually broke up because she wouldn't Tell me anything. Now I'm dating a girl who looks exactly like my grandma, only my girl older.
-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz
James Lee Schmidt
#3. I'm more likely to give you a cuddle than a punch in the face. I have a soft side, especially with my girlfriend. I send her flowers and use my culinary skills to pull off romantic meals. I do great Thai dishes.
Jai Courtney
#4. I want a girlfriend who eats as much as I do, which is a lot.
Niall Horan
#5. Like my girlfriend Denisha is always saying (she's an Episcopalian), some of Jesus' best friends were sex workers.
Sarah Lotz
#6. I have no reasons to be unhappy today. Normally, when I pick my mother up from the police station I go to the gym as soon as it opens and smash the bag for a while. This morning, however, I woke up to your pretty face and I remembered that you are my girlfriend.
Skyla Madi
#7. I am a serial monogamist of sorts, and have been with my girlfriend for almost four years. In imagining my brain back to worlds where I might be around someone other sexed in that way and not know them that well, speaking out loud almost seems like requiring of demon language, or money spurting.
Blake Butler
#8. I've moved before I realize I'm going to, and suddenly Stephanie is in my arms and I'm carrying my fake girlfriend through the Upper West Side as she mutters threats in my ear, and even though my delicate little flower is cursing up a storm, I find myself grinning.
Lauren Layne
#9. And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
Mike Birbiglia
#10. I moved into a nice houseboat in Little Venice when I was 15 years old. I found a girlfriend called Monday and a houseboat called Friday, so I had the week sewn up.
Richard Branson
#11. I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.
Doug Benson
#12. Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!
Greg Giraldo
#13. Even Tom Sawyer had a girlfriend and to talk about adults without talking about their sex drives is like talking about a window without glass.
Grace Metalious
#14. My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She's tied up in the trunk this very moment.
Jarod Kintz
#15. This is the girlfriend seat. You belong over here.
E.L. Todd
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