Funny Russell Brand Quotes

#1. Amy Winehouse - her surname's beginning to sound like a description of her liver.

Russell Brand

#2. Irish artists have a tradition of being very heavily engaged in what is happening in their own society. So it was important that they had a voice.

Sinead O'Connor

#3. How long is it polite to continue to be interested in what someone says after they reveal they've got a boyfriend?

Russell Brand

#4. Every butterfly in the world has migrated to my stomach.

Tahereh Mafi

#5. When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things.

Russell Brand

#6. It was important for me as a theater artist to allow myself and my interests to evolve over time and allow my notion of what success meant to evolve over time. I've always had a day job and never been just acting. But it didn't make me feel like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing.

Allison Tolman

#7. It's always funny until someone gets hurt.
Then it's just hilarious.

Bill Hicks

#8. We are at the edge of an abyss and we're close to being irrevocably lost.

David R. Brower

#9. I swear to fucking God, I will spray you again,

Holly Black

#10. Even in name, he seems like a Victorian oddity. "Igor, fetch 'the Crouch' from the catacombs, we're going to the graveyard".

Russell Brand

#11. It's not easy to write a poem about a poem.

Dejan Stojanovic

#12. Some people were just getting on with their lives, chatting, being young. It simply wouldn't do.

Russell Brand

#13. God doesn't believe in the easy way.

James Agee

#14. The person of benevolence never worries.

Confucius

#15. I felt like I was riding into infinity, and soon I forgot I existed as the sky surrounded us in a blanket of stars, constellations the texture of slushies, swirling blue and violet and gold. I was swallowed b the universe, riding on a white horse in a midnight dream...

Aishabella Sheikh

#16. I used to binge-eat and make myself throw up. I was a fat kid. Obviously I didn't quite master the bulimia.

Russell Brand

#17. Oh, I bet you'd find that marvelous; all of us helpless women just smiling and nodding. Though I'm afraid it would never work on me." "Of course not," he deadpans. "I'm stuck next to the one afflicted with an apparently incurable case of verbal diarrhea." "Says the man who is socially constipated.

Kristen Callihan

#18. If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?

Russell Brand

#19. I've always had a bit of a feminine aura, but I don't mind. Russell Brand has one, too.

John Duover

#20. Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws.

Russell Brand

#21. I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.

Russell Brand

#22. This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink ... mug of water.

Russell Brand

#23. Art is spirituality in drag

Jennifer Yane

#24. I'm going to put on my gravestone, 'He never owned a cell phone.'

Jesse Ventura

#25. I take things like honor and loyalty seriously. It's more important to me than any materialistic thing or any fame I could have.

Lloyd Banks

#26. On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.

Russell Brand