Funny Responsible Quotes

#1. I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.

Doug Stanhope

#2. Welcome to the world of bullshit, my dear. You have arrived.

Elton John

#3. As to any sense of inequality, or youthfulness, or other difficulty in our way, little Em'ly and I had no such trouble, because we had no future. We made no more provision for growing older, than we did for growing younger.

Charles Dickens

#4. I grew up in the theater. I began my career at 3. That was the first time I stepped onto a provisional stage.

Demian Bichir

#5. [Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.

Robert Benchley

#6. I was an only child with a lot of time to kill. I suspect a lot of writers are only children, or only children become writers because it's a way of being alone.

Christopher Buckley

#7. Nothing's changed my life more. I feel better about myself as a person, being conscious and responsible for my actions and I lost weight and my skin cleared up and I got bright eyes and I just became stronger and healthier and happier. Can't think of anything better in the world to be but be vegan.

Alicia Silverstone

#8. I have my own opinions, but my songs don't share them.

Shania Twain

#9. Unfortunately, sometimes the fans forget who puts the money and passion into the club. It's funny, but when you win, it's the coach and the players who are responsible, but when you lose, it's the owner's fault; but that's football.

Andrea Della Valle

#10. It was the right and responsible thing to do, so they put it off until later.

Ellen Potter

#11. The first way not to shake hands is executed by receiving someone's hand in yours and proceeding to squeeze it tightly, hurting the other party as if they were responsible for a past death in your family, or your adoption as a child.

Wes Locher

#12. As the resident dude, Shane was responsible for the acquisition of party favors, like glow-in-the-dark necklaces and drinks. Non-alcoholic drinks for Claire, of course, because I am a stern house mother even if I suck as a role model.

Rachel Caine

#13. No one knows your body like you do. Listen to it. It will tell you what to eat, when to drink, how to sleep and which exercises you need to do. Let your own body be your most trusted personal trainer.

Toni Sorenson

#14. I would love to work with Anthony Hopkins; I would love to work with Meryl Streep; I would love to work with DeNiro; I would love to work with Johnny Depp; I'd love to work with Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow ... I think she's amazing.

Tara Reid

#15. When you see Liana [Liberato], who at the time was 14, there is an inexperience and innocence that you can't act and you can't fake.

David Schwimmer

#16. Leaders know that the fruit of life is out on a limb.

Orrin Woodward

#17. Growing and decaying vegetation in this land are responsible for 93 percent of the oxides of nitrogen.

Ronald Reagan

#18. I'm learning English at the moment. I can say 'Big Ben', 'Hello Rodney', 'Tower Bridge' and 'Loo'.

Cher

#19. Have you ever suddenly realized it's someone else's mood swing and you're just along for the ride?

Alex Bosworth

#20. The electro-cauterizer sliced through the wires behind my cybernetic eye, and as the world went black, so did a large portion of my memory.

Jason Heller

#21. I want to be the star in your diary" -Shawn, Fade to White

N.L. Churney

#22. What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny - but when I do it, it's not?

Sam Kinison

#23. Any power structure one of whose main goals was to prevent humans from fucking each other at will had to be extremely formidable.

Neal Stephenson