Funny One Direction Quotes

#1. I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go.

Gertrude Stein

#2. When I was growing up we didn't have a massive house and there were five women running around, so my dad and I had to stick together!

Louis Tomlinson

#3. It's kind of funny, with all of the different outlets that come from acting that you could try, I would love to direct and kind of be involved in art direction, too.

Imogen Poots

#4. Funny how the universe repeated patterns ad infinitum, generation after generation, until someone finally turned around and started walking in the other direction.

Selena Kitt

#5. If you have an impulse, not if you're going to ruin someone elses' scene, if you have an impulse of a funny little add-on or taking something in a weird direction, try it.

Rachel Dratch

#6. Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone.

Zayn Malik

#7. Funny thing about straddling fences, though: eventually you end up with a pain in the butt and not much ground covered in any direction.

Logan Wolfram

#8. Coveralls," I reply, and I know I'm no longer screening what's coming out of my mouth.
He raises a eyebrow, amused yet again.
"You wouldn't want to ruin your clothing." I gesture vaguely in the direction of his jeans.
"I could always take them off." He smirks.

E.L. James

#9. Your words hurt, Jazz. They hurt like cotton balls thrown in my direction.

Barry Lyga

#10. It's funny, I worked with a lot of directors in the many years that I've been doing this, and generally when you hear a director yelling on set, everybody scatters in the other direction.

Gregory Nicotero

#11. I think if you're trying to be funny, sometimes you're bending a piece of metal in a direction it doesn't want to go. And sometimes comedy just needs to find itself.

Tamsin Greig

#12. Do I have a long-term plan? Kind of. I have a general direction, I think. But it's funny what comes down the pike.

Jeff Bridges

#13. Has anyone seen a raving bitch with nice hair? Holly shouted at the bottom of the stairs. Everyone who heard her pointed in a different direction.

Nicole Williams

#14. Right." A soft, choked laugh. "Kind of ruins the dramatic effect if I'm storming off in the wrong direction, doesn't it?

Kelley Armstrong

#15. Normally I'd run off in the other direction when faced with a man wearing what were essentially pyjamas to work, but this time ... well, they matched my boxers.

Josephine Myles

#16. The door opened, held by the butler, and Lord Montagu swept into the room, his presence overwhelming the space. She could swear even the flowers in their vases perked up and listed in his direction. Honest to Pete.

Angela Quarles

#17. Life is a crowded superhighway with bewildering cloverleaf exits on which a man is liable to find himself speeding back in the direction he came.

Peter De Vries

#18. There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there'd be something I'd miss that was funny in the future. If there's a chance I'm going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that.

Dave Navarro

#19. I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!"

Mitch Hedberg

#20. Logan changed direction, tugging me after him, his fingers laced with mine, and I was careful where I stepped, not wanting to accidentally trip and fall into someone's lap or take a header down into their food.

Mary Calmes

#21. Gliding down the bike path on a Saturday morning, you whip by somebody peddling in the opposite direction and give each other a nod. For a moment it's like Hey, we're both doing the same thing. Let's be friends for a second.

Neil Pasricha

#22. I felt my cheeks turn red, and she laughed out loud. But I didn't mind too much, because the last thing she saw was my middle finger aimed in her direction as I stepped outside

Jessica Verday

#23. They call me Domino for obvious reasons. One nudge in the right direction and I'm flat on my stomach.

Charlie Cochrane

#24. The funny thing about GPS was it didn't always send you in the right direction.
I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I'd get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve.
Wut the foock?

Darynda Jones

#25. If you're watching a parade, don't follow it. It never changes. If the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction. You will fast-forward the parade.

Mitch Hedberg

#26. A dancer on break approached him. She smiled. Each tooth was angled in a different direction, as if her mouth were the masterwork of a mad orthodontist.
"Hi," she said.
"Hi."
"You're really cute."
"I don't have any money."
She spun and walked away. Ah, romance.

Harlan Coben

#27. Now that that's settled, you're coming with me."

"Never in a billion suns. Not even if Zeus showed up as a swan and tried to peck me in your direction. I wouldn't go with you even if my other option was Hades dragging me to the Underworld for an eternal threesome with Persephone.

Amanda Bouchet

#28. I'm a big fan of certain new acts. I love any genre of music, and I think it's really great to see that there are new artists coming through. It's kinda funny to think that I'm like the old man on campus now. But I'm really happy for groups like One Direction. I think they're really good guys.

Joe Jonas

#29. The likelihood of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says, 'You can't miss it'.

Hal Roach

#30. Tom, you're with me. Bring the tranq gun, we don't want to kill her, but if she so much as looks funny in my direction, you're going to send her off to play with the magical pastel bunnies in the Shouldn't-Have-Fucking-Done-That Meadow.

Mira Grant

#31. Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hippopotamous throwing up.

Adam Rex