Funny Mormon Quotes

#1. A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ... "

Emo Philips

#2. I like to protect children. I mean, there's nothing wrong with having adult programming for mature adults that can selectively decide what they want to watch and what they don't want to watch.

Burt Ward

#3. I'll bridge these hills with graceful arches

Frank Lloyd Wright

#4. Even thought you've been acting like a jerk all night, you're still here. I could tell you were angry. So you're angry; at least you're something. You're not nothing anymore.

Jennifer R. Hubbard

#5. Faith isn't faith, unless it believes in the unseen. It doesn't take faith at all to cling to what you see. Faith in God trusts Him even when you can't see the very next step in front of you.

Cherie Hill

#6. Those shiny eyes like the stars in the sky; but black and brown,
And those beautiful lips like the flowers but sugary
And those kind smells, lovable but with no purpose
All meant to be for me?
Someone must have been praying and wishing me the whole world

M.F. Moonzajer

#7. History repeats itself, you sang. I wonder if that's true. If there's a hurt
that's buried in us, maybe it keeps fi nding its way through.

Ava Dellaira

#8. Customer service, they say, is dead. Actually, it isn't. It's just hiding behind a call center in Manila.

Timothy Noah

#9. No one who meets Jesus ever stays the same.

Philip Yancey

#10. Breckin shrugs. "I'm new here. And if you haven't deducted from my impeccable fashion sense, I think it's safe to say that I'm ... " he leans forward and cups his hand to his mouth in secrecy. "Mormon," he whispers.

Colleen Hoover

#11. I know. I know all of that. But knowing doesn't make it easier.

Kate Avery Ellison

#12. When I was hitch-hiking, people had to follow me, 'cause I didn't stay long.

Brownie McGhee

#13. In my opinion, what makes a great book is something that is universally specific.

Anne Hathaway

#14. Yet the room was all in all to me, Estella being in it.

Charles Dickens

#15. It's funny because 'The Book of Mormon' is 'The Book of Mormon' now. When I was doing it at the very beginning, and I was a part of it for four years and always believed in it, I never really knew if it was going to be more than a convention for 'South Park' fans.

Josh Gad