Top 38 Funny It's Not My Fault Quotes: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Funny It's Not My Fault

#1. I do public appearances. I'm bluff, hearty, goofy. I wear loud clothes, and I read the funny bits. I occasionally get taken to task for one thing or another, and I acknowledge my fault, my flaw, my failure, and I move on.

Nick Harkaway

#2. Every show is unique, some shows have the master plan and have everything figured out and that's just the way they do things. It's like high school. Some people write their papers the second they get their assignments, and some people write it the day after it's due. I am the latter.

Elizabeth Meriwether

#3. You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!

John Green

#4. Okay, first of all, I didn't sleep with you to make amends. I slept with you because I wanted to."
He still didn't say anything, and she pointed at him again. "And you know what? It was your own damn fault. It was those jeans you wear, and the tool belt. It was the size of your hammer!

Jill Shalvis

#5. He who kisses girl on hillside is not level

Confucius

#6. A painter paints, a musician plays, a writer writes - but a movie actor waits.

Mary Astor

#7. Oliver has stated many times his dislike of hearing advice from his younger sister, so it is his own fault if he has not got sense enough to see which way the wind is blowing.

Patricia C. Wrede

#8. Unfortunately, sometimes the fans forget who puts the money and passion into the club. It's funny, but when you win, it's the coach and the players who are responsible, but when you lose, it's the owner's fault; but that's football.

Andrea Della Valle

#9. I thought the power you had was in your arms and legs and the weapons you bear?"
"Don't forget my cock.

Gavin G. Smith

#10. Funny how someone could be so important in your life and then ... then you go a long period of time without them even entering your thoughts. It wasn't anyone's fault. Life took people in different directions.

C.C. Hunter

#11. Headline?" he asked.
"'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said.
"'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said.
"'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.

John Green

#12. Every time I see a bluebird, I say, well, hey, all this hard work is all worth while.

Bill Vaughan

#13. Absolutely Disgusted! Your Father's Facing An Inquiry At Work And It's Entirely Your Fault! If You Put Another Toe Out Of Line, We'll Bring You Straight Back Home!

J.K. Rowling

#14. The way you make an omelet reveals your character.

Anthony Bourdain

#15. I hear Mr. Palmer tell Hannah that it was an electrical fault. Five arsonists in one school and it ends up being something so technically boring.

Melina Marchetta

#16. His eyes narrowed. I had the funny feeling that he was sizing up the situation and somehow I was to blame for his sleepy-albeit really, really nice-fondling.
Like any of this was my fault.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#17. The thought of you being removed from the rotation is not funny to me.

John Green

#18. "She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."

Charles Dickens

#19. Was it just her, or did lovers look more adoringly at each other in this city? Especially in the springtime.
'Die, bastards.'
She sighed. It wasn't their fault that they were bastards who should die.

Kresley Cole

#20. Don't plead with anyone if you were not at fault, you'll only look inferior, stupid and funny, bolster your ego by doing the undoing.

Michael Bassey Johnson

#21. It's tourists in New York. Everything is geared towards that. It's so hard on Broadway now for them to get people in there. They have to compete with so many other entertainments, so they have to bring a star in which puts people there out of work.

Delta Burke

#22. Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States, and said it wasn't his fault, because he was not aware, at the time, of what his foreign policy was.

Dave Barry

#23. Passion is the most glamorous outfit not the most modern fashion.

Debasish Mridha

#24. A poet or philosopher should have no fault to find with his age if it only permits him to do his work undisturbed in his own corner; nor with his fate if the corner granted him allows of his following his vocation without having to think about other people.

Arthur Schopenhauer

#25. In a funny way, when things went wrong in my life - and it is my fault that they went wrong, it is not anyone else's fault - and all the glittering outside things were taken away, I was left with the things of most value.

Kimberly Quinn

#26. I don't think of myself as funny. I think of myself as rather grave, actually. And I'm suspicious of fun. I never quite know what that is or how to deal with it or how to generate it. That's my fault. I know it's a burden on the people I'm with. It's tiresome.

Hugh Laurie

#27. You know you've got to exercise your brain just like your muscles.

Will Rogers

#28. I say that democracy can never prove itself beyond cavil, until it founds and luxuriantly grows its own forms of art, poems, schools, theology, displacing all that exists, or that has been produced anywhere in the past, under opposite influences.

Walt Whitman

#29. Gaze Upward, Look Inward, Reach Outward, Press Forward.

Thomas S. Monson

#30. Either I'm funny or the world's funny. I don't know which. The bottle and lid don't fit. It could be the bottle's fault or the lid's fault. In either case, there's no denying that the fit is bad.

Haruki Murakami

#31. I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here.

Mitch Hedberg

#32. The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault.

M.F. Moonzajer

#33. I beg your pardon? Robson says.
One thing Waterhouse likes about these Brits is that when they don't know what the hell you're talking about, they are at least open to the possibility that it might be their fault.

Neal Stephenson