Top 27 Lesley Kagen Quotes
#1. [Joseph] and the Virgin Mary got turned away from the inn and had to go sleep in the manger. (Not with the manager, like Troo says.)
Lesley Kagen
#3. Clearly, Nell was going crazy. (Well, she certainly had the hair for it.)
Lesley Kagen
#4. Beauty can help fill the cracks in people's hearts and comfort their souls." There
Lesley Kagen
#5.
I wouldn't throw that cat out of bed.
When did you get a cat?
Lesley Kagen
#6. THINGS TO DO THIS SUMMER
1. Make Father Mickey lose his black Irish temper.
2. Wear a turtleneck, take in a deep breath and get strangled.
3. Mary Lane takes the picture.
4. Practice getting away.
5. Sally puts the pedal to the metal.
6. Randa Rhonda Rendezvous
Lesley Kagen
#7. Things can happen when you least expect them so you always gotta be prepared. And pay attention to the details. The devil is in the details.
Lesley Kagen
#8. Even though I'm still torn about the way I dealt with Mama's disappearance and more than likely will meet my Maker, being so, I am dreadfully certain about one thing. First impressions? They can be dead wrong.
Lesley Kagen
#9. Troo hits the hay every night like a bale falling out of our old barn loft.
Lesley Kagen
#10. Nobody can get at your heart once it's lying six feet under.
Lesley Kagen
#11. Appearing ordinary is one of her best talents. As long as nothing unexpected blows up in her face, which, of course, life being the minefield that it is, is about to.
Lesley Kagen
#12. Ethel Jackson was the cool side of my pillow when I had a fever.
Lesley Kagen
#14. If only.
You got to admit, standing alone those words are pretty awful, but married together like that, they must be two of the saddest in the English language.
Lesley Kagen
#15. My arms were covered in scratches and had bled a little so I licked my finger and cleaned them off and thought God would have done a better job if he made blood taste like Three Musketeers bars.
Lesley Kagen
#16. Most things in life sound better than they are except for blackmail.
Lesley Kagen
#17. Life, it is not simple like a garden, where flowers are always flowers and weeds are always weeds.
Lesley Kagen
#18. A soul is a quilt stitched of many patches.
Lesley Kagen
#19. Let bygones be bygones because everybody knew that forgiveness was divine.
Lesley Kagen
#20. I know some first-class Negroes. I also know some second-rate white people.
Lesley Kagen
#21. Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer... If one of those bottles should happen to fall, there'd be how many bottles of beer on the wall?
Lesley Kagen
#22. Memories are so two-faced.
One minute they're hugging you like a long-lost friend, the next minute they're ripping you apart like your worst enemy.
Lesley Kagen
#23. Things happen when you least expect them. Things that can change your whole life.
Lesley Kagen
#24. I know from vast experience that fear talks a lot louder than courage. I need to listen to that other voice inside me, that faint one that's struggling to be heard.
Lesley Kagen
#25. When you least expect to recall something, a memory can pop up like an uninvited guest on your doorstep.
Lesley Kagen
#27. So might I suggest at your earliest convenience that you pay a visit to the Okins Funeral Salon to make arrangements?"
"Why'd I wanna do that?" she says so damn snippy.
"Because on my return visit you can count on my beatin' the ever-lovin' shit outta you with a rusty shovel. Twice.
Lesley Kagen
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