Funny Defense Sayings

#1. It's complicated," I said in defense, hands going up to show surrender.
"Talk slowly," Jenna retorted derisively.
"Okay, I deserved that," I admitted.

Laura Kreitzer

#2. Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

Jean Shepherd

#3. In my defense, I was young and there was an open bar.

Jonathan Tropper

#4. IN MY DEFENSE, I didn't mean to start the Apocalypse. It wasn't just my personal aversion to oblivion; I had a clear financial motive: The end of the world is bad for business.

J.C. Nelson

#5. Sometimes a b.f.f makes you go W.T.F but without them we'd all be a little less richer in our lives .

Cecily Von Ziegesar

#6. As a child, one of my defense mechanisms was to try to be funny. My mom tried to nurture that by putting me in acting class. But I got bored when we stopped pretending to be trees and actually had to work.

Ian Gomez

#7. I was just a ham since about the age of five. If I was performing at Medieval Times or something, I'd be the court jester. That was always my defense mechanism. I was never all that funny; I was just obnoxious and loud.

Emma Stone

#8. In the days and months I spent walking through the various communities of this city, I found that Chicago did not work for everyone, however.

Jane Byrne

#9. Results for I looked as respectable as the bum they were booking. I fancied I smelled better, but perhaps not. I've noticed that most of us don't have a clue what we smell like to other people. It's almost as though our noses blank us out in self-defense.

Sue Grafton

#10. America pays defense contractors to build aircraft carriers. Google pays brilliant programmers to do whatever the hell they want.

Robin Sloan

#11. What's it like to be that goofy little soldier, scared stiff, with his bayonet aimed at Christ? What's it like to have been a woman in a defense-plant job during World War II? What's it like to be a kid at the front lines? It's all funny and tragic at the same time

Studs Terkel

#12. Which sort of shows why my body is an idiot, because forced narcolepsy is pretty much the worst defense ever.

Jenny Lawson

#13. When it comes, you'll be dreaming that you don't need to breathe; that breathless silence is the music of the dark and it's part of the rhythm to vanish like a spark.

Wislawa Szymborska

#14. I think that comedy is a good defense for a child. Because you know childhood is a nightmare as it is. And so why not use comedy and being funny as a defense to get through your life as opposed to drugs, alcohol and good looks? Because those things are dangerous when your young.

Joy Behar

#15. They better not put me in the All -Star Game. I won't shoot, but I'll dominate that easy game. I'll be playing hard defense. I'll be foulin'. I'll be flagrant fouling. Everyone will be like, 'What are you doing?'

Metta World Peace

#16. Indignation is often the best defense.

Diane Capri

#17. An Australian swimmer who failed to win a gold medal is blaming her loss on social media. In her defense, it is really hard to tweet when you're swimming.

Conan O'Brien

#18. The defense should be expecting a run or a pass here.

John Madden

#19. Respecting people is an important part of life, whether it's the person doing janitorial work or the person above you. It doesn't matter who you are: I'm going to respect you.

Andy Reid

#20. But here he was, toeing that line he couldn't stay away from. He

Sarah J. Maas

#21. Humor was also a defense mechanism from getting picked on at school. If I could be funny maybe people wouldn't bother me.

Pandora Boxx

#22. Am I a hypocrite?" I ask. "You're a black girl who fell in love with a white boy." "And a black girl who cares about race and class issues." Nikki leans back in the chair. "You can be both.

Renee Watson

#23. Dear sirs,
The cold war isn't over. When national borders fail, the epidermis is the last line of defense. We are counting on you.
Sincerely,
Patriot

Benson Bruno

#24. The strong conquer the weak. The weak serve the strong and hope to become strong so they can conquer others who are weaker.

Frederick Lenz

#25. In my defense, the Easter Bunny is the weakest link in magical lore. I mean, you have to admit that the whole thing is ridiculous. A giant rodent who sneaks into people's homes at night to leave eggs filled with candy? How in the world is that symbolic of the Easter celebration?

Autumn Doughton