Funny Clapping Quotes

#1. ...and yes that was meant to be interpreted in a sarcastic bubblegum tone complete with clapping and jazz hands.

K.R. Grace

#2. Eight people show up. The emcee is warm, friendly, and about as funny as Shoah. I take the stage to the sound of, my hand to God, one person clapping once and only once, and then I start into my act.

Patton Oswalt

#3. If you never love anyone, then you'll never be hurt when they don't love you back or when they leave you.

Raine Miller

#4. He could not construct for the child's pleasure the world he'd lost without constructing the loss as well and he thought perhaps the child had known this better than he.

Cormac McCarthy

#5. The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping.

Christy Leigh Stewart

#6. Aesthetes never do anything but what they are told.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

#7. Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.

Daniel Tosh

#8. I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?

Ellen DeGeneres

#9. There's lotion for your face, lotion for your hands, lotion for your feet, lotion for your body. Why? What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping?

Ellen DeGeneres

#10. I suspect that the word (art) was invented by second-rate intelligences to describe the incomprehensible activities of their betters.

Jack Vance

#11. To finish the moment, to find the journey's end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom.

Ralph Waldo Emerson