Funny Bridge Sayings

#1. My eyes are different sizes, my nose is too broad at the bridge and squishes up when I laugh, and my lips are sorta funny when I smile.

Terry Farrell

#2. Quill pinched the bridge of his nose, wishing Ivy would stop using the word "nude.

Manda Collins

#3. My wife made me join a bridge club ... I jump off next Tuesday.

Rodney Dangerfield

#4. Instead of finding himself in nerd heaven - where every nerd gets fifty-eight virgins to role-play with - he woke up in Robert Wood Johnson with two broken legs and a separated shoulder, feeling like, well, he'd jumped off the New Brunswick train bridge.

Junot Diaz

#5. Push my buttons, and I'll push you off a bridge.

Karen Quan

#6. Who wants to blow up a bridge with me?

Brandon Nolta

#7. Sailing is just the bottom line, like adding up the score in bridge. My real interest is in the tremendous game of life.

Dennis Conner

#8. When I was small I dreamed of demons. I thought they were under my bed, but you said, it can't be so, you don't get demons our side of the river, the guards won't let them over London Bridge.

Hilary Mantel

#9. When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes.

Nicole Richie

#10. Pull down your pants! I've heard about nigger-cocks my whole life but never seen one!

Stephen King

#11. The ... provisional government unwaveringly believes that it can solve all the present problems together with the broad masses of Ethiopia. However, we can do this only if all the people come out in unison to implement our planned undertakings.

Meles Zenawi

#12. Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.

Bill Cosby

#13. When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.

Steven Wright

#14. I lost my virginity under a bridge. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at a World Cup - just pleased to be there.

Russell Howard

#15. For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets.

Michael Showalter

#16. Wasn't it what her father always warned her about? Don't jump off a bridge because a cute guy tells you to?

Joannah Miley

#17. While she was exceptional, I was average, a man whose major accomplishment in life was to love her without reservation, and that will never change.

Nicholas Sparks

#18. People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player.

Sheryl Crow

#19. Unless you're in an early seventies-era Eagles cover band, a founding member of a religious cult, or sleeping under a bridge in Seattle, lose the beard and get a haircut. Power doesn't have time for any form of hirsute hipster self expression.

Ari Gold

#20. Emily's ginger brows were knit tight, the edges of each almost meeting over the bridge of her pert nose. You know I will, you daft baggage. As if we have any other option.

Kady Cross

#21. The road, lyric-wise, is a trap, and a bore. Maybe it's interesting to me, but I don't think it's a connecting thing with other humans. What is there to write about? Truck stops, hotels, clubs?

Dean Wareham

#22. It is a tragedy when the church saves money instead of saving souls. We MUST spend to save.

Reinhard Bonnke