Funny Bastard Quotes

#1. Plus, no matter how many times I'd brushed my teeth in Casey's bathroom (after half an hour she'd knocked on the door to make sure I was okay), the taste of disgusting, womanizing bastard was still in my mouth. Ugh!

Kody Keplinger

#2. Welcome to Arizona, you bastard.

Nenia Campbell

#3. Several things about Reagan are unusual in a public man. He was not a typical politician at all, but a private man in public life.

Lyn Nofziger

#4. I don't want to be held down by genres so much.

Randy Jackson

#5. I believe humility is a virtue, but I prefer not to use it unless it is absolutely necessary.

Helen Keller

#6. Temperament, you'll find, is highly dependent on time of day, weather, frequency of naps, and whether one has had enough to eat.

Catherynne M Valente

#7. Did you kiss me?"
"What? Why would you think that?" His smirking face seemed to give nothing away.
"You bastard! Who cops a feel on an unconscious man?"
"Not me. I like my feelees conscious.

Andrea Speed

#8. The key to become who you want to be is to understand and accept who you already are.

Franco Santoro

#9. Why are ecologists and environmentalists so feared and hated? This is because in part what they have to say is new to the general public, and the new is always alarming.

Garrett Hardin

#10. Be calm, cool, and collected. Don't let that
handsome bastard have power over you.

M.M. Kin

#11. Identical twins
are no different
from everyone else,
except we look and
sometimes sound
exactly alike.

Kwame Alexander

#12. But Jackal gave a low, humorless chuckle. 'Oh you bastard.' He smiled, shaking his head and staring up at the barn. 'That's cute. Let's see if you're as funny when I'm beating you to death with your own arm.

Julie Kagawa

#13. I'm one of those people that think that what you put up on screen, no matter how you're stating it, is usually an advertisement for it. Even if I'm saying "it's really bad to do this, or it's really good to do this" - regardless, the fact that it's on film, presented in this huge way, is appealing.

Azazel Jacobs

#14. He was a bad, bad bastard. He abused the privilege of being a cunt, as my old Da would say.' I smiled, picturing the cozy fireside scene of young son on father's knee being inducted into the world of abusive epithets.

Craig Russell

#15. (If plan KTB kill the bastard) didn't work, well, gray would resort to Plan B: Operation Oh Sh**

Gena Showalter

#16. A first-person voice helps to ensure the uniformity and cohesiveness of the narrative; it gathers unto itself incidents and characters in its unstoppable progress toward the story's end.

Norman Lock

#17. What's so funny? (Astrid)
I'm just thinking, here I am a slave who touched a star who then made him a demigod. I have to be the luckiest bastard who ever lived. (Zarek)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#18. If youth be a defect, it is one that we outgrow only too soon.

James Russell Lowell

#19. I used to have Santa and the whole coal thing, but between Wade and their father, the little shits get whatever they want. They no longer feel like they need the fat bastard!

Ethan Day

#20. Probably more than half of the people who go into psychology do so because they need help. I think it's their way of feeling that they have control.

Laura Schlessinger

#21. Today, currently, business owners can go out and find out if the person they are hiring is eligible to work here or if they are not. We need to think about how we are impacting workers.

Gary Miller

#22. He could do with some lunch. Especially since that bastard Sloane gave his Cheesy Doodles away. What kind of guy does that? A bastard, that's who. Did he not respect the male code of honor - thou shalt not steal another dude's snacks?
--Dex

Charlie Cochet