Funny Bar Mitzvah Quotes

#1. Because sometimes you just feel sad and you can't explain it.

Jenny Han

#2. The result was magnificent ... I became the father of two girls and two boys, lovely children by good fortune they all look like my wife.

Arthur Rubinstein

#3. A Woman is naturally more helpless than the other Sex; and a Man of Honour and Sense should have this in his View in all Manner of Commerce with her.

Richard Steele

#4. What's funny is I probably still have some calligraphy business cards floating out in the world, and I can't wait for someone to call me in a month or something, and say, 'Can you do these for my son's Bar Mitzvah?'

Meghan Markle

#5. There was nothing left but memories and regret. I dreaded them both. They burned like fire, ate through to my core like acid and cut as deeply as knives. Who the hell could take day after day of that? I sure couldn't.

Kendall Banks

#6. My emotions split into an unsolvable jigsaw puzzle. I was smooth edges, crooked edges, and awkward corner edges.
I was cutthroat and fierce, betrayer and deceiver, loved and lover.

Pepper Winters

#7. As Mel ushered me into a seat in front of my mirror, I demanded, This is how I'm supposed to compete with Clotile?

Kresley Cole

#8. A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

Ronald Knox

#9. We have to be in the present time, because only the present is real, only in the present can we be alive. We do not practice for the sake of the future, to be reborn in a paradise, but to be peace, to be compassion, to be joy right now.

Thich Nhat Hanh

#10. Whoever said that time blunts all pain did not quite understand that bluntness can wound as grievously as sharp points and edges;

Neel Mukherjee

#11. Liking is not always the child of beauty; but whatsoever is liked, to the liker is beautiful.

Philip Sidney

#12. I watch you, and it's like watching two people.

Victoria Schwab

#13. Dukhoborcheskaya

Thomas Paine

#14. I wish I could buy you for what you are really worth and sell you for what you think you're worth. I sure would make money on the deal.

Zora Neale Hurston

#15. They're testing you to see if you can follow orders, and you're failing with flying f**king colours.

D.R. Graham