Eve Dallas Humor Quotes

#1. Eve-"In the name of all that is holy ... It's 2060, not 1760. Can't they figure out a better way to handle this process?"
Roarke-"Amen

J.D. Robb

#2. Assaulting an officer will earn you one to five, Roarke. That's in a cage, not cushy home detention."
"You're not wearing your badge. Or anything else, for that matter." He gave her a friendly nip on the chin. "Be sure to put that in your report.

J.D. Robb

#3. When she brought Mira up, Eve gave Roarke another glance. "Don't talk to him," she warned. "He can get bitchy when he's in this deep. I don't know if we have any of that tea stuff."
"I had it stocked, and I don't get bitchy. Bloody, buggering HELL."
Eve just rolled her eyes and got the tea.

J.D. Robb

#4. The media ... is like an oil painting. Close up, it looks like nothing on Earth. Stand back and you get the drift.

Bernard Ingham

#5. The security officer smiled and said, 'Good afternoon, ma'am,' to me before I
gave him ID."
"It's a sick world, Eve." He resisted taking her hand for another squeeze. "A sick,
sad world.

J.D. Robb

#6. The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.

Evan Esar

#7. Eve, did you marry me for my money?"
"You bet your ass. And you'd better hold on to it, or I'm history"
"It's very sweet of you to say so.

J.D. Robb

#8. I'd suggest putting your head between your knees, but I think that's physically impossible for you at the moment.

J.D. Robb

#9. I'm a barrel of monkeys, kid, though mostly I figure monkeys stuck in a barrel are just going to be pissed off.

J.D. Robb

#10. You're still carrying Africa, but it's eroding at the edges.
Great. We're destroying the Dark Continent.

J.D. Robb

#11. Maybe he does have a choice to make, but everything I feel, everything I know says absoloutely that choice will be you"
"She speaks French and Italian."
"That bitch.

J.D. Robb

#12. Just shut your mouth, you ignorant twat."
"Aw, Dallas, he called me a twat. How come you get to be a bitch, but I only get to be a twat."
"It's the rank," Eve told her. "You'll make bitch one day."
"Thanks. That means a lot to me.

J.D. Robb

#13. One of the reasons we judge each other so harshly in this world of parenting is because ... we perceive anyone else who's doing anything differently than what we're doing as criticizing our choices.

Brene Brown

#14. What time is it in New York?"
He shook his head. "An hour later than it is here. The earth simply has to revolve, Eve, however annoying it is for you."
"It can revolve all it wants. I just don't see why people can't settle on the same time.

J.D. Robb

#15. Okay. Look, why don't you take care of the half a million things you've been letting dangle in Roarke's Empire of Everything?"
"Catchy title. I may use it one day.

J.D. Robb

#16. Amid a world of noisy, shallow actors it is noble to stand aside and say, 'I will simply be.

Henry David Thoreau

#17. It all jibed, and the books would close on Jasper as death by misadventure. Unofficially, Eve labeled it death by stupidity, but there wasn't a place on the sheet for that particular observation. - Lt. Eve Dallas on a drunk fall off the roof

J.D. Robb

#18. I die a little more, still in silence, paralysed by you, in fear, in pain.

Poppet