Top 100 Evanovich Ranger Quotes
#1. Hey!" Lula yelled, back in Ranger's face. "You look at me when I'm having a breakdown. And don't pull that mysterio silent shit on me. I don't take that bus, you see what I'm saying?
Janet Evanovich
#2. Finding out with Ranger is a whole different deal than finding out with Lula. Lula and I are Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz. Ranger is Batman.
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#3. Slipped onto the passenger seat, and Ranger leaned over and kissed me just below my ear. It was a hello kiss. Nothing serious. If I wanted it to get serious all I had to do was smile.
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#4. You come from a long line of scary women Ranger finally said.
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#5. I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. "Yo," Ranger said when he answered. "Small problem." "No kidding. Your car just went off the screen." "It sort of burned up." Silence. "And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car." "Babe.
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#7. It was M-m-moe and Shorty," I said. "Damn, I can't stop
shaking."
"Adrenaline burn-off," Ranger said. "It's normal."
"Why aren't you sh-sh-shaking?"
"I'm not normal.
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#8. Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said.
Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it.
Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.
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#9. Were really screwed up, aren't we?"
"In a very large way.
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#10. Changed expression. Wariness, maybe. I felt a body move so close it was skimming my own, and a warm hand protectively settled at the base of my neck. Without turning I knew it was Ranger.
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#11. My leg over the bike. Ranger was watching me, smiling. "I like the way you straddle that," he said. "Someday . . .
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#12. You're not looking for a partner," Ranger said. "You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar?"
"Everything," I said. "I just ate everything.
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#13. Unzipping that body bag didn't bother me," Ranger said, "but I'm going to have nightmares over this casino.
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#14. Ranger clicked his penlight on. "Hang onto me if you can't see."
I curled my hand into the back of his cargo pants just above his gun belt. "I'm good to go."
He was still for a beat. "You could have held on to my jacket," he said.
"Would you rather I do that?"
"No. Not even a little.
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#15. Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions?
-Ranger
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#16. Ranger was slouched on the couch, watching a ball game. Bob was beside him, his big shaggy orange Bob head resting on Ranger's leg.
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#17. There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing.
Ranger
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#18. Ranger was dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt and boots,
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#19. Uh-oh," Ranger said. "you been reading those Nancy Drew books again?
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#20. Ranger slung an arm around me and hugged me into him, and I could feel him laughing. "It's not funny," I said. "Babe, I haven't got a lot of funny in my life. Let me enjoy the moment.
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#21. Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer.
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#22. Ranger isn't my boyfriend. Ranger and I have a professional relationship." "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't play hide the salami once in a while.
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#23. Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
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#24. Ranger declined the butterscotch pudding, not wanting to disrupt the consistency of his blood sugar level. I had two puddings and coffee, choosing to keep my pancreas at peak performance. Use it or lose it is my philosophy.
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#25. I'd spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to make a woman want him. Ranger was magic.
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#26. The other hand wanted to wrap itself around Ranger's most perfect body part and not let go.
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#27. I'll go with you," Lula said. "Maybe I'll get a look at the killer Chihuahuas. And besides, I want to ride in Ranger's Porsche.
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#30. Oh, for God's sake," I said. "Just give me the stupid thing." I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. "GPS," Ranger said to Morelli. "Probably I can find her breast without it," Morelli said. "But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.
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#31. We got into the Explorer, and I couldn't sit with the gun rammed into my pants. "I can't do this," I said to Ranger. "This dumb gun is too big. It's poking me." Ranger closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the wheel. "I can't believe I hired you.
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#32. The lights were low, and Ranger was naked and lounging on the bed, waiting for me to return. I did a slow scan of his perfect body.
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#33. To celebrate our partnership I dressed up like Ranger. Black boots, black jeans, black turtleneck, small silver hoop earrings.
He gave me the once-over when I opened the door to him.
'Smart ass,' he said.
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#34. Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?'
Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.'
Superheroes are make-believe.'
Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?
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#35. Who's the best person you know. Of all the people you know personally, is there anyone who has a sense of right and wrong and lives by it? This was a sticky question because it would have to be Ranger ... but I suspected he occasionally killed people. Only bad people, of course, but still ...
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#36. Ranger was probably riding the wind, looking for the guy. And any well-adjusted person would walk away and let Ranger do his thing. Unfortunately, I wasn't that well adjusted.
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#37. Ranger's gonna hate this," Tank said. "Better to get shot than to have to explain the gate. Bad enough I got a horse that smells like his shower gel.
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#38. My fear was that I'd oversleep, and when Ranger broke into my apartment to wake me up, I'd drag him into bed with me. And then what would I tell Joe?
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#39. This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe.
Ranger
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#40. Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said.
Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.
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#41. Ranger slung an arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the top of my head. "Someday I need to talk to you about car care." "I know about car care. I kept a case of motor oil in the back." "That's my girl.
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#42. The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet.
"Fainted," I said.
Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. "Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock."
"Well, the rock fainted.
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#43. Hey," Lula said to Ranger's man."You want to watch it? I just had my hair done. I don't need plaster in it. Next time just shoot a hole is this punk-ass loser, will you?
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#44. I'm on my way," Ranger said. "I'm about ten minutes from Quaker Bridge. I'll call when I have her.
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#45. There were two doors that opened off the hallway. The doors were labeled PUSSY and MOTHERFUCKERS.
"I'm taking the Motherfuckers door," I said to Ranger.
"No way. That's my door."
"Well, I'm sure as hell not taking the Pussy door.
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#46. Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. "Coffee? I thought we came here for pie." "I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here." I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
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#47. Babe, Ranger said, wrapping his arms around me, gathering me close to him.
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#48. As I ran water to wash my hands, my earbud fell out of my ear and went down the drain.
"Crap!"
I hauled my cellphone out of my bag and texted Ranger. Bad news. Your earbud just went down the drain in the ladies room.
It was only a matter of time, he textd back.
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#49. I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. "It was all because of the shower gel," I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. "Shower gel?" I made a major effort not to sigh. "Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
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#50. I felt my cell phone buzz, and I looked at the screen. Ranger.
"Your GPS just went blank," Ranger said when I answered.
"The car exploded." There was a beat of silence.
"Rafael won the pool," Ranger said. "Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"I'll send someone.
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#51. Why do you give me cars?"
"It's fun," Ranger said."And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?"
"You love me?"
"Yes."
A sigh inadvertently escaped. "We're really screwed up, aren't we?"
"In a very large way," Ranger said.
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#52. Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early.
-Ranger
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#54. You can't be mad at me," Ranger said. "I'm cute. I might even be adorable.
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#55. If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
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#56. Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me.
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#57. Ranger is a man of few words. He's Cuban-American, former Special Forces, he makes a much better friend than an enemy, and he's Vinnie's numero uno bounty hunter.
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#58. My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn."
"She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action."
-Ranger and Stephanie
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#59. I liked you better when you had vordo." "You're not suggesting we do it in this tiny closet with two men watching television in the next room, are you?" "It'd be limiting," Ranger said, "but at least you wouldn't have your ass on the horn.
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#60. Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
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#61. Ten minutes passed before his (Ranger's) Mercedes appeared at the end of the street, gliding through the rain, sleek and sinister, water not daring to adhere to the paint finish.
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#62. Ranger's Cayenne pulled in behind the SUV. Ranger got out, scooped me up off the ground, and held me close.
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#65. Ranger slipped an arm around me, leaned close, and kissed me. The kiss was a further indicator that he liked the dress. In fact, the kiss suggested that while he liked the dress a lot, he wouldn't mind getting me out of the dress as soon as possible.
Janet Evanovich
#67. I checked my phone messages. Three in all.
The first was from Joe. "Hey, Cupcake." That was it. That was the whole message.
The second was from Ranger. "Yo." Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.
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#68. in a parade, and I'd already seen Ranger naked but he was worth
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#69. I cut my eyes to the alley. Ranger was still there, doubled over the steering wheel, shaking with laughter.
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#70. I crossed the room at a run, barreled through the door to take the stairs, and crashed into Ranger. We lost balance and rolled tangled together to the fourth-floor landing. We lay there for a moment, stunned and breathless. Ranger was flat on his back, and I was on top of him.
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#71. You were worried about me?" "No," Hal said. "I was worried Ranger would kill me if I lost you.
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#72. It's a long story," I said. "The short version is Diesel and I are pretending to get married, so we can get Kloughn to marry Valerie." "Does Morelli know about this?" "It's pretend." "I'm not even gonna ask if Ranger knows. Poor ol' Diesel here be dead if Ranger knew.
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#73. Fuck, Ranger said.
Ranger didn't often curse and he rarely raised his voice. The fuck has been entirely conversational. Like he was now midly inconvenienced. He put his Bates boot to the door and the door popped open..
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#74. And in an instant I was pinned beneath him, which was not an entirely unpleasant experience once I realized it was Ranger. We were groin to groin, chest to chest, with his hands locked around my wrists. A moment passed while we did nothing but breathe.
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#75. Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots."
"Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him.
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#77. Ranger raised my bruised and bloody wrist to his mouth and kissed it. I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but there
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#78. Cute? I think my testosterone level just dropped
- Ranger
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#80. No Ranger in sight. That's because he's in the wind. You can't see the wind. Or maybe the wind went home to watch Tuesday night fights.
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#81. I don't have a lot of domestic instincts," Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, "but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down."
I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file.
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#82. Ranger's lips swept along my jawline to my ear. I could make you forget the gown.
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#83. Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap
cheat sheet.
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#84. I sensed a familiar presence behind me. A hand brushed my hair back, and Ranger leaned in to me and kissed me on the nape of my neck.
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#85. Sometimes I moonlight for a guy named Ranger who's extremely bad in an incredibly good way.
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#86. Is that your granny?" Ranger wanted to know.
"Yup. She was checking to make sure Moogey was here."
"You've got a helluva gene pool, babe.
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#87. If he's as frustrated as I am, he'll be at Rita's, Ranger said.
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#88. He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.
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#89. Ranger was grinning. "Somebody beat the shit out of this guy before he got shot."
"That would be me."I said.
"Babe,"Ranger said, the grin widening.
Janet Evanovich
#90. Ranger was definitely wow. He stood half a head taller than me. He was perfectly toned muscle, and he had classic Latino good looks. He always smelled great. He dressed only in black. His eyes were dark. His hair was dark. His life was dark. Ranger had lots of secrets.
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#92. I'll have Ella order some Rangeman shirts for you. If you decide to go back to Vinnie you can keep the shirts." Ranger almost smiled. "I like the idea of you wearing my name on your breast.
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#93. Ranger is Cuban-American with skin the color of a mocha latte, heavy on the mocha, and a body that can best be described as yum.
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#94. RANGER HAD BEEN Special Forces, and he still had the build and the carriage. He was standing close, forcing me to tip my head back ever so slightly to look into his eyes.
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#95. Okay," Ranger said. "We're going to walk through the room and look for this guy. Pretend I'm not here."
"You going to be the wind again?" I asked.
Ranger grinned. "Wiseass.
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#96. Your on your on with this one babe." "Coward." "Calling me names isn't going to get me in there." -Ranger and Stephanie
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#97. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger.
"Not drunk," Ranger said. "Just relaxed and naked.
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#98. I was standing with my back to the door, and I saw Connie's eyes go wide. "Be still my heart," Lula said, looking past me, through the window to the sidewalk. I figured they were looking at either Johnny Depp or Ranger. My money was on Ranger.
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#100. I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman. -Ranger to Stephanie
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