Top 30 Envy Humor Quotes
#1. Walter Scott has no business to write novels, especially good ones. - It is not fair. - He has fame and profit enough as a poet, and should not be taking the bread out of other people's mouths. - I do not like him, and do not mean to like Waverley if I can help it - but fear I must.
Jane Austen
#2. For me, it's Jesus plus nothing-...
Bob Goff
#3. Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ... and he's in prison ... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.
Bill Watterson
#4. Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Dorothy Parker
#5. This bastard was in a self-help program? For what? Square-jawed, cleft-chin sufferers? Handsome Bastards Anonymous?
Susan Juby
#6. The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it.
Criss Jami
#7. Ill-humor is nothing more than an inward feeling of our own want of merit, a dissatisfaction with ourselves which is always united with an envy that foolish vanity excites.
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
#8. Ernestine used to remark, in a tone tinged with envy, that Lill was probably New Jersey's youngest gold digger, and that few adult gold diggers ever had received more, in return for less.
Frank B. Gilbreth Jr.
#9. It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.
Aeschylus
#10. I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
#11. When I envied a man's spurs then they were indeed worth coveting.
Zane Grey
#12. Some folks rail against other folks, because other folks have what some folks would be glad of.
Henry Fielding
#13. Don't think about the past. Just be here now.
Ram Dass
#14. It is only when the mirror has not spoken to Chimpanzee in a plain language that it thinks it looks more better than the Gorilla
Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
#15. They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
Bob Monkhouse
#16. To defy the laws of tradition is a crusade only of the brave.
Les Claypool
#17. Women never bought Freud's idea of penis envy: who would want a shotgun when you can have an automatic?
Natalie Angier
#18. Because of his unusual way of handling language, Cummings had to travel a long road from the time his early books were ridiculed for their eccentricity to the point at which, with Robert Frost, he was one of the two most popular poets in America.
E. E. Cummings
#19. She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled, and the gun she was holding gave me a bad case of barrel envy.
Patrick Major Dallas OR
#20. So there I was, with the two hottest girls on campus, having lunch. I was "the man", the envy of every other guy in our school.
Buddy, I was miserable."
-Bryce Loski
Wendelin Van Draanen
#21. The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.
Garrison Keillor
#22. Ty is green but never with envy. Best of all, he's usually available to help move a heavy piece of furniture.
John Hopkins
#23. Envy is for people who don't have the self-esteem to be jealous.
Bauvard
#24. Nothing frustrates people more than a cocky guy who's still winning.
Criss Jami
#25. I've always thought that Freud's theory of penis envy was fairly ridiculous
but I'm absolutely certain that if you put a piece of bread in your mouth and suck on it you'll go to heaven.
Anna Quindlen
#26. Don't worry, I don't even have a piece of shit. I have to envy yours.
Matthew Broderick
#27. I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory.
Augusten Burroughs
#29. Do not share your thoughts with people who think that what you are thinking is not worth thinking.
Michael Bassey Johnson