Drunk Text Sayings

#1. Romantic googling can be as dangerous as drunk text messaging. Of course hell hath no fury like a woman who Google-bombs her old flames name with a word like impotent.

Maureen Dowd

#2. Every New Year people get you some presents but your best present you get never changes: Your own existence! It is also your best present to others!

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#3. If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, text them when you're drunk.

Brooke Bida

#4. Events are never absolute, their outcome depends entirely upon the individual.

Honore De Balzac

#5. Why charge we Heav'n in those, in these acquit?
In both, to reason right is to submit.

Alexander Pope

#6. When writing screenplays, it's a matter of remembering to leave off the page anything and everything that doesn't appear on the screen.

Taiye Selasi

#7. For hours she lay on the ground, alternately body and space. Sometimes a vision of normal comfort obliterated reality:

Maxine Hong Kingston

#8. You know how the waypoints work. I don't. I get it. But if what you were doing was working, I wouldn't be here. You brought me down here to figure this out, and I'm going to figure it out. If you don't want to split up, then help me. Or find a chair and sit in it.

Nicole Kornher-Stace

#9. Don't fall asleep yet. Contrary to popular belief, that's not where dreams get accomplished.

George Watsky

#10. I can't read historical fiction because I find the real thing so much more interesting.

Antonia Fraser

#11. Most grandiose gestures are suspect - the couple who renew their vows just before divorce or the politician who publicly swears he's clean, then enters rehab. Building

Chris Offutt

#12. I like to believe that science is becoming mainstream. It should have never been something that sort of geeky people do and no one else thinks about. Whether or not, it will always be what geeky people do. It should, as a minimum, be what everybody thinks about because science is all around us.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

#13. Love is saying yes to belonging.

David Steindl-Rast

#14. 10.35 p.m. Just pressssd d SEND. Issfineisn' tit. DO NOT TEXT WHEN DRUNK

Helen Fielding

#15. Last night the Taliban offered to release eight Westerners if the U.S. promised not to attack. The State Department declined but thanked the Taliban for the offer, saying it really felt good to laugh again.

Tina Fey

#16. Honestly, my favorite part of the day was going to play practice.

Cassidy Gifford