Don Fey Quotes

#1. (Don Fey had a large rubber stamp that said "bullshit," which was and is awesome.)

Tina Fey

#2. How can I give her what Don Fey gave me? The gift of anxiety. The fear of getting in trouble. The knowledge that while you are loved, you are not above the law.

Tina Fey

#3. Only Colin Quinn was direct about it. "Your father doesn't fucking play games. You would never come home with a shamrock tattoo in that house." That's Don Fey.

Tina Fey

#4. I don't like my feet. I'm not crazy about anybody's feet. But I have flat feet.

Tina Fey

#5. I don't like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don't think that fighting and passion are the same thing.

Tina Fey

#6. Let's talk about the hair. Why do I call it "yellow" hair and not "blond" hair? Because I'm pretty sure everybody calls my hair "brown." When I read fairy tales to my daughter I always change the word "blond" to "yellow," because I don't want her to think that blond hair is somehow better.

Tina Fey

#7. Gay people don't actually try to convert people. That's Jehovah's Witnesses you're thinking of.

Tina Fey

#8. I realized my predicament early in my First Year. We don't say "Freshman" or "Senior" etc. at UVA because Mr. Jefferson felt that education is a lifelong process

Tina Fey

#9. It would be a great exercise for someone thinks they want to move to New York: Sit in an enclosed space full of fumes and hold hands with a stranger for twenty minutes while everyone around you speaks a language you don't understand, If you enjoy this, you will enjoy the 6 train.

Tina Fey

#10. Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don't just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

Tina Fey

#11. One of the great things about doing animated movies is that you don't have to dress up or put on make-up.

Tina Fey

#12. Bossypants Lesson #183: You Can't Boss People Around If They Don't Really Care

Tina Fey

#13. I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other. And I don't think anyone's really doing it.

Tina Fey

#14. Someone once said that to make a regular person laugh, you need to dress a guy up like an old lady and push him down the stairs. To make a comedy writer laugh, you have to push a real old lady down the stairs. I don't know who that's attributed to. I think it's Aristophanes. Or Catherine the Great.

Tina Fey

#15. My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. "You don't know their situation," my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn't even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald's food turns into cold nonfood.

Tina Fey

#16. According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry, lonely women, you'll be dead soon.

Tina Fey

#17. It's the same reason I don't get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?

Tina Fey

#18. I don't know how many more movies I'm going to get the opportunity to make and I don't want to look back and go: "Man, I just floated through that one." Or: "I did that one for the money." I want to be able to say that I worked as a hard as I could and I did the best work that I could do.

Tina Fey

#19. My biggest influence is someone I really don't know at all: Tina Fey. Smart, funny, beautiful, self-deprecating, also a mom and a wife.

Laura Benanti

#20. Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?

Tina Fey

#21. You enjoy making my heart stop, don't you?

Julie Kagawa

#22. If you're an actor and you don't get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities.

Tina Fey

#23. I want to spend time with Oprah, and I don't know what I need to do to make that happen.

Tina Fey

#24. I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.

Joan Rivers

#25. Mortals don't see the fey. Donia smiled wryly: if they did, Keenan would never have convinced any of them to trust him.

Melissa Marr

#26. My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don't take myself too seriously.

Tina Fey

#27. I think for women especially, you need to have a plan. I need to have some other ways to generate income, so I don't have to stretch my face or lift the top of my head with surgery or something.

Tina Fey

#28. You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.

Tina Fey

#29. I don't live the single life and never really did.

Tina Fey

#30. When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: "Hey, this isn't the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don't know how much longer I'm going to have!"

Tina Fey

#31. The idea of being in control for the sake of control is not really important to me. If everyone is sharp and doing what they're doing well, you don't really need to be in control all the time.

Tina Fey

#32. My husband doesn't like to fly. He does fly now because he doesn't want our daughter to grow up thinking he is a Don Knotts character. But when we were first married, he didn't fly.

Tina Fey

#33. I don't want to be somebody else.

Tina Fey

#34. Don't worry about me," I finally said. "Really. I'm more worried about you." And even more worried about where Graves is.
"Are you?" A fey smile lit his face, and I caught my breath. It was a shock to see him look so happy. "Well, then.

Lilith Saintcrow

#35. We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy.

Tina Fey

#36. Again, don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions, go over, under, through.

Tina Fey

#37. It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don't like something, it is empirically not good. I don't like Chinese food, but I don't write articles trying to prove it doesn't exist.

Tina Fey

#38. Don't be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable. For sketch writers, remember they're called sketches for a reason. They're not called oil paintings. Some of them are going to stink. You have to let them stink.

Tina Fey

#39. If there are three things I've learned in my time among the fey, they are this: don't eat anything you're offered in Faeryland, don't go swimming in quiet little ponds and never, ever, make a bargain with anyone.

Julie Kagawa

#40. Lesson learned? When people say, "You really, really must" do something, it means you don't really have to. No one ever says, "You really, really must deliver the baby during labor." When it's true, it doesn't need to be said.

Tina Fey

#41. I grew up in a family of Republicans. And when I was 18 and registering to vote, my mom's only instruction was 'You just go in and pull the big Republican lever.' That's my welcome to adulthood. She's like, 'No, don't even read it. Just pull the Republican lever.

Tina Fey

#42. I don't have a driver's license. It's just one of the many ways in which I am developmentally stunted.

Tina Fey

#43. Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

Tina Fey

#44. I don't enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don't have that kind of 'I love the bad guys' thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.

Tina Fey

#45. To me YEs, AND means don't be afraid to contribute. It's your responsibility to contribute. Always make sure you're adding something to the discussion. Your initiations are worthwhile.

Tina Fey

#46. A wise friend once told me, 'Don't wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what _they_ wear.' His point being that most designers, no matter what they throw onto the runway, favor simple, flattering pieces for themselves.

Tina Fey

#47. Why can't we accept the human form as it is? screams no one. I don't know why, but we never have. That's why people wore corsets and neck stretchers and powdered wigs.

Tina Fey

#48. You can point any kind of laser at my face, but I don't think Botox is for me. I think it is bad. People who have too much, they look like their faces are full of candles - a shiny, shiny face.

Tina Fey

#49. That's the main thing I learned in that job - how to be a considerate coworker. Cover the phones for someone so they can pee. Punch someone's time card in for them after lunch so they can stop and buy a birthday card. Help people when their register doesn't add up. Don't be a tattletale.

Tina Fey

#50. Your father doesn't fucking play games. you would never come home with a shamrock tattoo in that house.

Tina Fey

#51. All this is rather pretentious and fey to even talk about, but Flannery O'Connor sat down to write stories. The rest of us, some of us, don't have that kind of wit and genius. We don't do that. We sit down and have some accidents.

Padgett Powell

#52. A violin?" I echoed, making a face. "Really? You're calling in a favor for that? What, you don't want to wait until you've lost a pipe organ or something?" - Puck

Julie Kagawa

#53. Don't ever feel inadequate when you look at magazines. Just remember that every person you see on a cover has a bra and underwear hanging out a gaping hole in the back. Everyone.

Tina Fey

#54. I dreamed of being an actress when I was a little kid because you don't know then that the writer writes everything the actor is saying. But as I got older, I got into college and became more aware that writing is another option, and I started getting into it, too.

Tina Fey

#55. Also, don't be afraid to make them get your hair, makeup, and lighting right. It's not vanity, because if you look weird, it will distract from what you're trying to do. If you look as good as you can, people will be able to pay attention to what you're actually saying.

Tina Fey

#56. I don't normally wear armor, but then, I don't normally have to face an army of Iron fey, either.

Julie Kagawa