Dog And God Quotes

#1. If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.

Bill Maher

#2. ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.

Ambrose Bierce

#3. The son of a human is human, just as the son of a dog is a dog and the son of a cat is a cat. And so what is the son of God?

Bart D. Ehrman

#4. Arguing whether or not a God exists is like fleas arguing whether or not the dog exists. Arguing over the correct name for God is like fleas arguing over the name of the dog. And arguing over whose notion of God is correct is like fleas arguing over who owns the dog.

Robert Fulghum

#5. Of course I had to talk to myself. I had no prayer God. I had no prayer doG. Why not reverse bark and froth and recite verse?

Brian Spellman

#6. I could become like that dyslexic agnostic in the old joke - the one who lies in bed and tries to figure out if his dog exists.

Anne Lamott

#7. My mother was really young when she had me, so she was a horrible cook, but we lived with my grandmother, who was fantastic. We eventually got our own place, and my mother started learning to cook. But it was also the '70s, so she was very experimental, and, well - thank God we had a dog.

Debi Mazar

#8. God ... sat down for a moment when the dog was finished in order to watch it ... and to know that it was good, that nothing was lacking, that it could not have been made better.

Rainer Maria Rilke

#9. God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.

Billy Graham

#10. Seriously, why didn't Brody or I know about the neighbors? It's not like I'm a dog. I'm not going to hump them in public." At Mike's look, he flushed. "For God's sake, I was twenty years old and drunk. The girl wasn't even real. It was a mannequin and it was all Brody's idea.

Marie Harte

#11. A dog barks when his master is attacked. I would be a coward if I saw that God's truth is attacked and yet would remain silent

John Calvin

#12. There is only one thing worse than losing the one you love, and that is losing them without knowing why. If you are a dog, then your master is like a god to you, and the pain of losing him is greater still.

Louis De Bernieres

#13. Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man.

Andres Segovia

#14. But of course these conjectures as to why God does what He does are probably of no more value than my dog's ideas of what I am up to when I sit and read.

C.S. Lewis

#15. When the course of experience made me see that there is no saviour and no special grace, no remission beyond the human, that pain is to be endured and fades, if it fades, only with time, then God became nothing to me but a dyslexic dog, with neither bark nor bite.

Yann Martel

#16. It don't care whether I'm good enough. It don't care whether I snore or not. It don't care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts, and money.

Danny DeVito

#17. Seattle is the only city where you step in shit and you pray, Please God, let this be dog shit.

Maria Semple

#18. Only a lover of animals will understand the sudden feeling of loss, of emptiness, and the intuitive bond which exists between man and dog, has always existed from the beginning and will, please God, continue to the end.

Daphne Du Maurier

#19. People always joke that 'dog' spells 'god' backwards. They should consider that it might be the higher power coming down to see just how well they do, what kind of people they are. The animals are right here, right in front of us. And how we treat these companions is a test.

Linda Blair

#20. The Lord God had created all animals, and had chosen out the wolf to be his dog.

Jacob Grimm

#21. The wicked will gnaw their tongues for anguish and pain; they will curse God and look upwards. There the dogs of hell, pride, malice, revenge, rage, horror, despair, continually devout them.

John Wesley

#22. That's a real void in my life. I see a lot of people who struggled and went to jail and the dogs were after them. I'd look them in the eyes and say, 'God almighty, I wish I'd have been there.'

Ernie Banks

#23. You can tell the true character of a man by how his dog and his kids react to him." "If you don't believe in God, you should believe in the technology that's going to make us immortal.

Timothy Ferriss

#24. I feel as cross as a dog," he muttered, clenching his fists. "I hate and despise myself! My God! like some depraved schoolboy, I am making love to another man's wife, writing idiotic letters,

Anton Chekhov

#25. Some people is born at the start of a long hard row to hoe. Well, I am older than God's dog and been in this world a long time and it seems to me that right from the git-go, Larkin Stanton had the longest and hardest row I've ever seen.

Sheila Kay Adams

#26. One of its ears stuck straight up, the other flopped as it ran, and I remembered something I'd read somewhere
that when God sees a dog he likes, He folds one of its ears down to remember it.

Jennifer Weiner

#27. Non-Indian writers usually say "Great Spirit," "Mother Earth," "Two-Legged, Four-Legged, and Winged." Mixed-blood writers usually say "Creator, "Mother Earth," "Two-Legged, Four- Legged, and Winged." Indian writers usually say "God," "Mother Earth," "Human Being, Dog, and Bird."

Sherman Alexie

#28. Let dogs delight to bark and bite, for God hath made them so.

Isaac Watts

#29. I'm Volstag and what you see is what you get. He's a bon vivant lover of life epicurean goodfellow. He's a god, which helps. He's full of life. He reminds me very much of Falstaff. There's a wonderful innocence to him and the steadfast loyalty of a big Saint Bernard dog.

Ray Stevenson

#30. We must drive them [Jews] out like mad dogs, so that we do not become partakers of their abominable blasphemy and all the their other vices and thus merit God's wrath and be damned with them.

Martin Luther

#31. Mario, what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?"
"I give."
"You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.

David Foster Wallace

#32. Now then, you dogs, whom the apostle puts outside and who yelp at the God of truth, let us come to your various questions.

Tertullian

#33. I knew Snoop Dog didn't start misogyny. I knew that Tupac Shakur didn't start sexism, and God knows that Dr. Dre didn't start patriarchy. Yet they extended it in vicious form within their own communities. They made vulnerable people more vulnerable.

Michael Eric Dyson

#34. Do you know my dog's name?
[ ... ]
"It is from an ancient word, kerberos. It means 'spotted.'"
I blinked. "You're a genuine Greek god. You're the Lord of the Underworld. And ... you named your dog *Spot*?

Jim Butcher

#35. A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now'!

Kathy Griffin

#36. There are conservative values where certain lifestyles are imposed and everybody should have 2.4 children and a dog and a cat and a house and you should feel like God and you should believe in God and you should be a capitalist. I don't buy any of that.

Steve Coogan

#37. Among God's creations, two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes in order not to be seperated from the man. -Andres Segovia

Andres Segovia

#38. God turns clouds inside out to make fluffy beds for the dogs in Dog Heaven, and when they are tired from running and barking and eating ham-sandwich biscuits, the dogs find a cloud bed for sleeping. God watches over each one of them. And there are no bad dreams.

Cynthia Rylant

#39. Dog is much admired by Man because he believes in the hand which feeds him. A perfect set-up. For 13 cents a day you've got a hired killer who thinks you are god. A dog can't tell a Nazi from a Republican from a Commie from a Democrat and, many times, neither can I.

Charles Bukowski

#40. I liked, as I like still, to make words look self-conscious and foolish, to bind them by mock marriage of a pun, to turn them inside out, to come upon them unawares. What is this jest in majesty? This ass in passion? How do god and devil combine to form a live dog?

Vladimir Nabokov

#41. Finn is God: So much for Earth Day. I totally screwed things up and started celebrating the wrong planet. Now I have to collect all these stupid trademarked dog figurines that I distributed all of the yard. At least it's better than last year's mistake when I had butt statues everywhere.

Jessica Park

#42. My dad and I could chat for hours about solar systems, dog psychology, and the existence of God, all while listening to Hank Williams and eating Taco Bell.

David Crabb

#43. It's a privilege to be in such a great category of people and ... I don't believe in God, so I'd like to thank dogs. Dogs have given me everything.

Ricky Gervais

#44. We made our choice, he said. We hunted for them, we guarded their brats. God knows, we helped them make a civilization, didn't we? And why?
I said I didn't know; it was beyond me. Because, he said, we thought they knew how to take care of things. How to keep the world full of meat and flowers.

Clive Barker

#45. Someone once said give a dog food and shelter and treats and they think you are a god, but give a cat the same and they think they are the god.

Steven Rowley

#46. The dog is the most faithful of animals and would be much esteemed were it not so common. Our Lord God has made His greatest gifts the commonest.

Martin Luther

#47. Blue. My God! I'm so blue that if I were a dog, I'd sit on my haunches and howl and howl and howl ...

Alice Dunbar Nelson

#48. A man is known to his dog by the smell, to his tailor by the coat, to his friend by the smile; each of these know him, but how little or how much depends on the dignity of the intelligence. That which is truly and indeed characteristic of the man is known only to God.

John Ruskin

#49. First you get a dog, and then you develop a taste for wine. God knows what might happen next.

James Runcie

#50. I believe that every Christian ought to be joined to some visible church; that is his
plain duty, according to the Scriptures. God's people are not dogs, else they might go
about one by one; but they are sheep, and therefore they should be in flocks.

Charles Spurgeon

#51. Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of.

Sara Gruen

#52. Via the conduit of a wild dog pack, she has now made the ultimate Gift to her fellow Creatures, and has become part of God's great dance of proteins.

Margaret Atwood

#53. The dog is the only living being that has found and recognizes an indubitable, tangible and definite god. He knows to whom above him to give himself. He has not to seek for a superior and infinite power.

Maurice Maeterlinck

#54. Every being is a spark of the Divine, or God. Look into the eyes of the dog and sense that innermost core. When you are present, you can sense the spirit, the one consciousness, in every creature and love it as yourself.

Eckhart Tolle

#55. If we are devoted to the cause of humanity, we shall soon be crushed and broken-hearted, for we shall often meet with more ingratitude from men than we would from a dog; but if our motive is love to God, no ingratitude can hinder us from serving our fellow men.

Oswald Chambers

#56. Don't stand behind a strange horse, don't look a strange dog in the eyes, don't rub a strange cat's belly, and for God's sake, don't let strange men handcuff you to your bed.

Maggie Stiefvater

#57. The lesson of the Funk Dog: You can forget what it used to feel like to feel good about life; feeling rotten - or just a low-grad funk - seems normal and therefore acceptable. I just don't believe that God intended for any of his creatures to be petted with sticks.

Jill Conner Browne

#58. And I advise ye to think well, he told her It's better to be a stray dog in this world than a man without money. I've tried it both ways, and I know. A poor man stinks, and God hates him.

Willa Cather

#59. The eyes of a dog, the expression of a dog, the warmly wagging tail of a dog and the gloriously cold damp nose of a dog were in my opinion all God-given for one purpose only-to make complete fools of us human beings.

Barbara Woodhouse

#60. For God's sake. In movies, they fix the note to a dog's collar and it trots off obediently, no nonsense.

Sophie Kinsella

#61. Mark what a generosity and courage (a dog) will put on when he finds himself maintained by a man, who to him is instead of a God

Francis Bacon

#62. For God's sake (I never was more serious) don't make me ridiculous any more by terming me gentle-hearted in print ... substitute drunken dog, ragged head, seld-shaven, odd-eyed, stuttering, or any other epithet which truly and properly belongs to the gentleman in question.

Charles Lamb

#63. Pomeranians speak only to Poodles and Poodles speak only to God.

Charles Kuralt

#64. And you don t have to sleep alone you don t even have to sleep at all and so all you have to do is show the stick to the dog now and then and say Thank God for nothing.

William Faulkner

#65. The god of dirt came up to me many times and said so many wise and delectable things, I lay on the grass listening to his dog voice, frog voice; now, he said, and now, and never once mentioned forever from, One or Two Things

Mary Oliver

#66. There are a lot of Ellroy lifts, man. This guy went to school. But then there's a willful thing that comes over me - God gives it to me - where I go, "That's real nice, let's just go home, pat yourself on the back, good dog, good dog, and wake up in the morning and go to work."

James Ellroy