Dave Letterman Quotes

#1. Welcome to the program. My name is Dave Letterman, and tonight I'm giving my two-week notice.

David Letterman

#2. For those who don't like Dave Letterman, there's Jay Leno; and for those who like neither, there's Craig Ferguson; and if you're still feeling undertained, there's George Lopez and Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel and - let's see, did we leave out a Jimmy?

Tom Shales

#3. Scotsmen are not the type to back down easily, even if an Amazonian bisexual is screaming for compliance and threatening death by green fire sword on their bridge deck.--Prizm

A. Michael Schwarz

#4. I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

Kim Cattrall

#5. Misha didn't appear taken by her charm. He eyed her as if she's asked him to make her a garlic pizza in the shape of a cross. I laughed: I couldn't help it. Leave it to Shayna to try to befriend the guy who'll probably suck us dry by sundown.

Cecy Robson

#6. Luxury has been railed at for two thousand years, in verse and in prose, and it has always been loved.

Voltaire

#7. Do you know how many times I've read "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" to this kid? That is one fucked-up story. How is that a book for babies?

Huntley Fitzpatrick

#8. The less you have, the more you enjoy.

Carine Roitfeld

#9. Youth has a right to go astray now and then Feeling themselves oppressed by the benevolence.

Georg Ebers

#10. To teach vain Wits that Science little known,
T' admire Superior Sense, and doubt their own!

Alexander Pope

#11. He stared at her a moment longer, then laughed softly. "I wouldn't love you if you were any weaker," he said, and let go of her.

Rosamund Hodge

#12. Italy is divided between us and them, rich and poor, north and south, young and old, employed and unemployed.

Romano Prodi

#13. We are commanded to have only one enemy, the devil. With him never be reconciled! But with a brother, never be at enmity in thy heart.

Saint John Chrysostom