Top 100 Dahl's Quotes
#1. I guess you think you know this story. You don't. The real one's much gorier. The phony one, the one you know Was cooked up years and years ago And made to sound all soft and sappy Just to keep the children happy. -Ronald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes
Cameron Jace
#2. When I was a child I devoured every book I could get my hands on. I loved losing myself in colourful and dramatic stories - and my absolute favourite was 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.' Everything about it electrified me, and when I re-read Roald Dahl's books as an adult it surprised me.
David Walliams
#3. Every writer dreams of having a backyard cottage, similar to Dahl's 'writing hut.' English cottages and charming huts might seem out of reach, but a good carpenter could build a modest cottage on the cheap.
Kate Klise
#4. Roald Dahl's Marvellous Children's Charity (RDMCC) is a registered charity no. 1137409. The Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre (RDMSC) is a registered charity no. 1085853. The Roald Dahl Charitable
Roald Dahl
#5. I can remember exactly where I sat when my teacher first read Roald Dahl's 'James and the Giant Peach'.
Dave Eggers
#6. I is reading it hundreds of times,' the BFG said. 'And I is still reading it and teaching new words to myself and how to write them. It is the most scrumdiddlyumptious story.'
Sophie took the book out of his hand. 'Nicholas Nickleby,' she read aloud.
'By Dahl's Chickens,' the BFG said.
Roald Dahl
#7. My earliest, most impactful encounter with a book was when I was seven and awoke early on Christmas morning to find Roald Dahl's 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' in my stocking. I had never been so excited by the sight of a book - and have possibly never been since!
Sophie Kinsella
#8. 'James and the Giant Peach' magnificently starts out Dahl's career as a blithe and droll Bad Uncle corrupter and affirmer of youth. Its influence can be subsequently traced down the decades in everything from Maurice Sendak to Lemony Snicket to J. K. Rowling.
Paul Di Filippo
#9. Sophie took the book out of his hand. 'Nicholas Nickleby,' she read aloud. 'By Dahl's Chickens,' the BFG said. 'By who?' Sophie said.
Roald Dahl
#10. There aren't many funny bits in Mr Tolkien either,' Matilda said.
'Do you think that all children's books ought to have funny bits in them?' Miss Honey asked.
'I do,' Matilda said. 'Children are not so serious as grown-ups and love to laugh.
Roald Dahl
#11. Hey, my spaghetti's moving!" cried Mr. Twit, poking around in it with his fork.
"It's a new kind," Mrs. Twit said, taking a mouthful from her own plate which of course had no worms. "It's called Squiggly Spaghetti. It's delicious. Eat it up while it's nice and hot.
Roald Dahl
#12. You're walking around here with a smile on your face, Asher. It's freaking everybody out.
Victoria Dahl
#13. - I am a mouse! You wait till my father hears about this!
- He may think it's an improvement.
Roald Dahl
#14. There's plenty of money out there. They print more every day. But this ticket, there's only five of them in the whole world, and that's all there's ever going to be. Only a dummy would give this up for something as common money. Are you a dummy?
Roald Dahl
#15. A whizzpopper!" cried the BFG, beaming at her. "Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans?
Roald Dahl
#16. It's impossible to make your eyes twinkle if you aren't feeling twinkly yourself
Roald Dahl
#17. No book ever ends, when it's full of your friends.
Roald Dahl
#18. There's more food in one bottle of beer, me lad, than twenty sandwiches.
Roald Dahl
#19. I'm wondering what to read next." Matilda said. "I've finished all the children's books.
Roald Dahl
#20. I grew up reading Stephen King, Peter Straub, Clive Barker, Robert McCammon, Isaac Asimov's nonfiction books, and Roald Dahl.
Nnedi Okorafor
#21. Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous ...
Roald Dahl
#22. Hooray!" said the Chief of the Army. "Let's blow everyone up! Bang-bang! Bang-bang!
Roald Dahl
#23. I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Roald Dahl
#24. Despite the man's intimidating mountain-man looks, Wallace dated men, women and some people who seemed to skate between genders.
Victoria Dahl
#25. This allowed her two glorious hours sitting quietly by herself in a cozy corner, devouring one book after another. When she had read every single children's book in the place, she started wandering round in search of something else.
Roald Dahl
#26. If you can think of anything more terrifying than that happening to you in the middle of the night, then let's hear about it.
Roald Dahl
#27. I've always been interested in a certain kind of sophistication in children's literature. I loved Roald Dahl; I loved the underlying nastiness of some of his - darkness of his tales.
David Small
#28. What on earth were you trying to do, make yourself look handsome or something? You look like someone's grandmother gone wrong!
Roald Dahl
#29. Never mind about 1066 William the Conqueror, 1087 William the Second. Such things are not going to affect one?s life ... but 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat - these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country.
Roald Dahl
#30. The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a pistol from her knickers.
She aims it at the creature's head,
And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
Roald Dahl
#31. You can't get a bad picture out of Bacall. There's nothing eccentric about her. She's perfect all over and yet she looks like nobody else.
Louise Dahl-Wolfe
#32. When you're writing, it's rather like going on a very long walk
Roald Dahl
#33. It is almost worth going away because it's so lovely coming back.
Roald Dahl
#34. Now that I am alone, I don't have to hide it; I don't have to hide anything any longer. I can let my face go because no one can see me; because there's twenty-one thousand feet between me and them ... No, I don't have to press my teeth together or tighten the muscles of my jaw ...
Roald Dahl
#35. So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone.
Roald Dahl
#36. Children should never have baths,' my grandmother said. 'It's a dangerous
habit.'
'I agree, Grandmamma.
Roald Dahl
#37. that happening to you in the middle of the night, then let's hear about it. The
Roald Dahl
#38. Kindness - that simple word. To be kind - it covers everything, to my mind. If you're kind that's it.
Roald Dahl
#39. Anyone can ask questions," said Mr. Wonka. "It's the answers that count.
Roald Dahl
#40. I saw this cartoon in the paper, once. That Viking, Hagar the Horrible? He's standing on the mountaintop, holding his hands to the heavens, shouting "Why me?" And down from the heavens comes the answer: "Why not?" Maybe that's the ultimate truth; what right to do I have to expect a smooth ride?
Jonathan Kellerman
#41. The act of copulation is like that of picking the nose. It's all right to be doing it yourself but it is a singularly unattractive spectacle for the onlooker.
Roald Dahl
#42. There is a trait in the Jewish character that does provoke animosity, maybe it's a kind of lack of generosity towards non-Jews. I mean, there's always a reason why anti-anything crops up anywhere; even a stinker like Hitler didn't just pick on them for no reason.
Roald Dahl
#43. Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all if it hasnt been whipped with whips, just like poached eggs isn't poached eggs unless it's been stolen in the dead of the night.
Roald Dahl
#44. There's nothin' you can get from a book that you can't get from a television fastah!
-Harry Wormwood
Roald Dahl
#45. You know that's not what I mean! I just ... I don't know what to do with men. I get nervous. I make too many jokes. I act like a kid sister instead of their fantasy sex machine.
Victoria Dahl
#46. The secret of life', he said, 'is to become very very good at somethin' that's very very 'ard to do.
Roald Dahl
#47. Sex is like nose picking. It's fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it's disgusting watching someone else doing it.
Roald Dahl
#48. I think. as a child, there's something frightening about certain adults, particularly when you're in their clutches or power. That must be the reason why Roald Dahl creates such brilliant characters: He taps into something in the collective memory of people.
Bertie Carvel
#49. Never upstage a man. Don't top his joke, even if you have to bite your tongue to keep from doing it. Never launch loudly into your own opinions on a subject - whether it's petunias or politics. Instead, draw out his ideas to which you can gracefully add your footnotes from time to time.
Arlene Dahl
#50. Don't be maudlin. You're a librarian, for God's sake. Toughen up.
Victoria Dahl
#51. Don't argue, my dear child, please don't argue!" cried Mr. Wonka. "It's such a waste of precious time!
Roald Dahl
#52. Poor Cindy's heart was torn to shreds.
My Prince! She thought. He chops off heads!
How could I marry anyone
Who does that sort of thing for fun?
The Prince cried, Who's this dirty slut?
Off with her nut! Off with her nut!
Roald Dahl
#53. There's three of them in nightshirts! Two old women and one
Roald Dahl
#54. Roald Dahl worked with other illustrators, but it was only when he teamed up with Quentin Blake that the chemistry began to fizz. Quentin Blake is Britain's greatest living illustrator and has that special talent all the great illustrators have, of unobtrusive brilliance.
Chris Riddell
#55. This is Mr. Bucket. This is Mrs. Bucket. Mr. and Mrs. Bucket have a small boy whose name is Charlie Bucket.
Roald Dahl
#56. Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
Roald Dahl
#57. Edward, it will take time to find a willing and acceptable match, won't it? Decent men do not hang about at crossroads just waiting for ruined women to take them home.
Victoria Dahl
#58. A few weeks later, in the wood,
I came across Miss Riding Hood.
But what a change! No cloak of red,
No silly hood upon her head.
She said, 'Hello, and do please note
My lovely furry wolfskin coat.
Roald Dahl
#59. If my books can help children become readers, then I feel I have accomplished something important.
Roald Dahl
#60. A message To the children who have read this book. When you grow up and have children of your own, do please remember something important. A stodgy parent is no fun at all! What a child wants -and DESERVES- is a parent who is SPARKY! - Danny, the champion of the world.
Roald Dahl
#61. You ignorant little slug!" the Trunchbull bellowed. "You witless weed! You empty-headed hamster! You stupid glob of glue!
Roald Dahl
#62. She'd never felt more powerful. She wanted to do this again. In an hour. In the middle of the night. In the morning. She wanted to wake up like this, shaking and strong and whole and broken all at once.
Victoria Dahl
#63. Mr. Bucket was the only person in the family with a job. He worked in a toothpaste factory, where he sat all day long at a bench and screwed the little caps onto the tops of the tubes of toothpaste after the tubes had been filled.
Roald Dahl
#64. Had I not had children of my own, I would have never written books for children, nor would I have been capable of doing so.
Roald Dahl
#65. We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
Roald Dahl
#66. Bunkum and tummyrot! You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that. Would Columbus have discovered America if he'd said 'What if I sink on the way over? What if I meet pirates? What if I never come back?' He wouldn't even have started.
Roald Dahl
#67. If she's a lady, I'm a vernicious knid. (Eddie Albert in Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory)
Roald Dahl
#68. There is no place I know that compares to pure imagination.
Roald Dahl
#69. We make realities out of our dreams and dreams out of our realities. We are the dreamers of the dream.
Roald Dahl
#70. As George removed the cork and began very slowly to pour the thick brown stuff into the spoon,
Roald Dahl
#71. When he was sure that all his precious dreams had
Roald Dahl
#72. Like your sweet, affectionate house cat, Alice Dahl is easy to underestimate. It's not until the songbirds in the yard show up eviscerated on the front porch that you realize you should've kept that bell collar on her - because those poor birds never even saw her coming.
Elle Lothlorien
#73. loading the dreams, the BFG and Sophie disappeared over the mountains on
Roald Dahl
#75. As in Athens, the right to participate was restricted to men, just as it was also in all later democracies and republics until the twentieth century.
Robert A. Dahl
#76. Unless you have been to boarding-school when you are very young, it is absolutely impossible to appreciate the delights of living at home.
Roald Dahl
#77. In fairy-tales, witches always wear silly black hats and black cloaks, and they ride on broomsticks. But this is not a fairy-tale. This is about REAL WITCHES. The most important thing you should know about REAL WITCHES is this. Listen very carefully. Never forget what is coming next.
Roald Dahl
#78. Your daughter's a cheat and a liar, the father said,
Roald Dahl
#79. I asked my mum, who's a very clever psychotherapist, and she says that kids love stories about death; they need it, they need to have stories that deal with death and explain it, as a place to put their fears.
Roald Dahl
#80. All you do is to look / At a page in this book / Because that's where we always will be. / No book ever ends / When it's full of your friends / The Giraffe and the Pelly and me.
Roald Dahl
#81. If you go back to, say, the Brothers Grimm or Roald Dahl, you see so much darkness in children's material.
Evangeline Lilly
#82. It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
Roald Dahl
#83. There aren't a lot of humans who speak more than one dialect of Forshan. I know all four of the major ones.'
'Impressive,' Duvall Said.
'I'm good with my tongue,' Dahl said.
'Now who's being forward?' Duvall asked.
John Scalzi
#84. You should be able to make a scene come alive in the reader's mind. Not everybody has this ability. It is a gift, and you either have it or you don't.
Roald Dahl
#85. Matilda said, Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it's unbelievable ...
Roald Dahl
#86. I am only 8 years old, I told myself. No little boy of 8 has ever murdered anyone. It's not possible.
Roald Dahl
#87. I go down to my little hut, where it's tight and dark and warm, and within minutes I can go back to being six or seven or eight again.
Roald Dahl
#88. But where, you might ask, is this book that the BFG wrote? It's right here. You've just finished reading it.
Roald Dahl
#89. Lori sat way back in her chair and gave him the once-over. What in the world's gotten into Ben Lawson? jokes? Flirting? Maybe I should sleep with Molly. I think she's got a magic hooha.
Victoria Dahl
#90. There's a series of children's books called A Series of Unfortunate Events, which is like an incredibly dark version of Roald Dahl. I hope to start directing it.
Barry Sonnenfeld
#91. Matilda said nothing. She simply sat there admiring the wonderful effect of her own handiwork. Mr Wormwood's fine crop of black hair was now a dirty silver, the colour this time of a tightrope-walker's tights that had not been washed for the entire circus season.
Roald Dahl
#92. 'Dexter' is a very well-oiled machine; it's just a great show and great to be part of.
Roald Dahl
#93. *Life is a series of thousands of tiny miracles. Notice them.
*No book ever ends when it's full of friends.
Roald Dahl
#94. Good strong hair,' he was fond of saying, 'means there's a good strong brain underneath.' 'Like Shakespeare,' Matilda had once said to him. 'Like who?' 'Shakespeare, Daddy.' 'Was he brainy?' 'Very, Daddy.' 'He had masses of hair, did he?' 'He was bald, Daddy.
Roald Dahl
#95. If it's by an American it's certain to be filth. That's all they write about.
Roald Dahl
#96. I think he could handle being used. It would be good for him. He's having trouble sleeping.
Victoria Dahl
#97. And when I protested a bit more, I remember he said, 'My dear Lady Ponsonby, there's nothing immoral about this. Art is only immoral when practiced by amateurs. It's the same with medicine. You wouldn't refuse to undress before your doctor, would you?
Roald Dahl
#98. Perhaps it's chasing me. But I don't think it will ever catch me because I am moving fast.
Roald Dahl
#99. Poor Earthworm,' the Ladybird said, whispering in James's ear. 'He loves to make everything into a disaster. He hates to be happy. He is only happy when he is gloomy.
Roald Dahl
#100. You'll notice that the Intrepid's inertial dampeners don't work as well in crisis situations, Dahl remembered Jenkins telling them. The ship could do hairpin turns and loop-de-loops any other time and you'd never notice. But whenever there's a dramatic event, there goes your footing.
John Scalzi
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