Crude Humor Quotes

#1. You see I've been taking these tests to tell when I'm ovulating and when I'm mostfertile. And well ... it's now."
"Oh, so you came up here for a fuck?"
Emma cringed. "Do you always have to be so crude?"
He chuckled. "I'm sorry. Would you prefer I call it an afternoon delight?" he teased.

Katie Ashley

#2. [Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design of planes on science, they fly. If you base the design of rockets on science, they reach the moon. It works ... bitches.

Richard Dawkins

#3. If I was a freak of nature ... Hell yeah I wanna do freak shows! I don't wanna be applying for jobs at the mall.

Doug Stanhope

#4. Bells call others, but themselves enter not into the Church.

George Herbert

#5. They who have been bred in the school of politics fail now and always to face the facts. Their measures are half measures and makeshifts merely. They put off the day of settlement, and meanwhile the debt accumulates.

Henry David Thoreau

#6. If cheese was a woman, I'd marry her. I'd come home and eat her every night.

Solange Nicole

#7. This life at best is but an inn, And we the passengers.

James Howell

#8. Losing her was the worst of it, but loving her hurt almost as much sometimes.

Catherine M. Wilson

#9. Good plan," Freddy was saying. "Let's get some decent sleep. Tomorrow we can shake our gravy asses into town and do some sluething.

Ali Sparkes

#10. I've always told my kids, when it comes to humor, go for the comical not the crude and coarse. You can tell an amazing story without dragging people through the muck.

Kenneth Wayne Wood

#11. Critics or musicians who attack me are jealous of my success and the fact that I make people feel so happy.

Andre Rieu

#12. Ela did you just fart? Because you just blew me away.

Mark A. Cooper

#13. What does it mean to love someone with all your heart? It means to love with all your emotional feelings and with all your devotion. Surely when you love your wife with all your heart, you cannot demean her, criticize her, find fault with her, or abuse her by words, sullen behavior, or actions.

Ezra Taft Benson

#14. Silence is the only conduct truly befitting a solipsist, the only one, however, that he cannot bring himself to adopt.

Rene Girard

#15. Since nothing else that I see merely through the senses can or will persist, He alone is.

Mahatma Gandhi

#16. I look at my four boys, who are the colors of silt, loam, dust, and clay, an infinite palette for children of their own, and I understand that time erases whiteness altogether.

Barbara Kingsolver

#17. Holy fecking crikey, it comes!

Karen Marie Moning

#18. Nobody gets tired of being the champions. We are still trying to go after the title again.

Maurice Hall

#19. The news that Daisy Miller was surrounded by half a dozen wonderful mustaches checked Winterbourne's impulse to go straightway to see her.

Henry James

#20. For the wise man delights in establishing his merit, the brave man likes to show his courage in action, the covetous man is quick at seizing advantages, and the stupid man has no fear of death.

Sun Tzu

#21. Everything is possible in America, except the production of intelligence.

Mie Hansson

#22. Maybe I'll take a little better care of myself, but I wouldn't count on it.

Alex Trebek

#23. In some sort of crude sense, which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose.

J. Robert Oppenheimer