Coroner Quotes

#1. Soon levees up and down the river were popping like buttons off a tight shirt. At Mounds Landing, Mississippi, a hundred black workers, kept at their posts by men with rifles, were swept to oblivion when a levee gave way. The coroner, for reasons unstated, recorded just two deaths.

Bill Bryson

#2. The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

Dennis Miller

#3. Other duties become pressing and absorbing and crowd our prayer. "Choked to death" would be the coroner's verdict in many cases of dead praying if an inquest could be secured on this dire, spiritual calamity.

Edward McKendree Bounds

#4. I understand there was some controversy about the coroner's ruling concerning Josephus Jones's

Wally Lamb

#5. I had this fantasy of becoming a neurosurgeon. You know, the normal Jewish boy fantasy, but I wanted to be a neurosurgeon for some reason. So I started in this unpleasant way. I was an assistant to the coroner, opening up corpses, taking the innards out, opening skulls, taking the brains out.

Joseph Brodsky

#6. I was at our beautiful home in Martha's Vineyard, near Boston, sitting on the porch looking at the ocean when I got a phone called and was asked, 'Would I like to do 'CSI'?' A week later, I'm at a coroner's office in Las Vegas, participating in a quadruple autopsy.

Ted Danson

#7. The English youth's face simply showed a lively surprise, but nothing more. He went swinging along valleyward again, as if he did not know he had just swindled a coroner

Mark Twain

#8. Children have very little voice, and the coroner's inquest is about Luke's voice, and making sure Luke is heard and respected and honoured. I don't want him to have died in vain.

Rosie Batty

#9. I, Alexander B. Campbell, make this statement of the cause of my death to relieve the coroner of the necessity of an inquest, and also let my friends know the motive that led me to take my own life.

Alex Campbell

#10. Whenever a husband and a wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

H.L. Mencken

#11. Dammit, I'm dying here.

No, worse, I'm already dead. Wheel me off to the fucking coroner's office, and mark down cause of death: Keely's dirty mind and miraculous cunt.

Roxy Sloane

#12. sister died of the dropsy which had long afflicted her." "That will be for a coroner to decide.

Arthur Conan Doyle

#13. They come together like the Coroner's Inquest, to sit upon the murdered reputations of the week.

William Congreve

#14. You are a steward of the pain and injustices people have visited upon you. Or, if you prefer we could call you a scrupulous coroner.

Wally Lamb

#15. Put the penis schematic away, he told the coroner.

Paul Collins

#16. I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up

Lenny Bruce

#17. It won't be whiskey, won't be meth
It'll be your name on my last breath
If divorce or death ever do us part
The coroner will call it a broken heart

The Band Perry

#18. The coroner announced heart failure as the cause of death, but William Stoner always felt that in a moment of anger and despair Sloane had willed his heart to cease, as if in a last mute gesture of love and contempt for a world that had betrayed him so profoundly that he could not endure in it.

John Williams

#19. We have copped a lot of ignorant abuse in the past, but it makes you wonder when a former state coroner openly attacks Aboriginal families who have been through hell.

Arthur Murray

#20. Coroner's inquest: death by drowning. And he hasn't been to the sea-shore in ten years.

Leonard Cohen

#21. The Coroner said graciously:
"I have heard of you, M. Poirot," and Poirot made an unsuccessful attempt to look modest.

Agatha Christie

#22. Barbara Mitchell of the Orange County Sheriff-Coroner's Office and F. James Gregris, former deputy coroner of Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, were

Martin J. Smith

#23. To sweeten the hours we share scandals from the city, how curators removed an elephant's heart from the museum because it began beating when anyone in love looked at it, how the coroner found minnows swimming in a drowned girl's lungs.

Traci Brimhall

#24. You better wake up before it's too late, or they'll be doing your makeup down at the coroner's place.

Kool Moe Dee

#25. And supposing the Coroner's jury returns a verdict of Wilful Murder against Alfred Inglethorp. What becomes of your theories, then?"
"They would not be shaken because twelve stupid men had happened to make a mistake!

Agatha Christie

#26. A critic often has to play the role of coroner, dissecting a work to find out why it died (or never lived).

David Edelstein

#27. The horror genre is my personal favorite. But then again, I was the kid who read coroner books for fun.

Candace Kita

#28. apparently Papa had mistakenly wheeled the wrong patient (heavily sedated from surgery) to the morgue. The patient later woke up, nearly frozen and surrounded by corpses, and was only discovered three hours later, screaming, by the coroner.

Carey Nachenberg

#29. People who attempted to end their lives, no matter how amateurishly they might do so at first, often got better at it, with the result that on the third, fourth or sixth try, they ended up on a slab with a coroner poking around their remains.

David Baldacci

#30. Open Secret boasts a nifty plot and, in Coroner Fortin, a fascinating protagonist who will likely be around for a long time. Deryn Collier is a talent to watch,

Giles Blunt