Combat Humor Quotes

#1. If only my heart could abstain
from love.

The more I seethe with desire
The more I seem to attract.

Hilda Ismail

#2. Fashion is not about clothes, it is about a look.

Carine Roitfeld

#3. I'm very encouraged. This is progress. There are two or three ways to combat homophobia - one is through humor. The second is to put a face on it. People are becoming much more enlightened.

Leslie Jordan

#4. She wanted him to know that she loved him. That, even if he didn't feel the same way, he was worthy of love.

Jenny Holiday

#5. Writing a first-draft battle scene is akin to real combat - chaos, confusion, and you must keep your cool as you fire word bullets downrange.

Don Roff

#6. The alchemical steps to attract success are always the same, although manifested differently in each person.

Daniel Marques

#7. I guess you could say I'm allergic to sunlight. If I'm exposed to it, it could kill me.

Lee Thompson

#8. My backup plan is to challenge Bearbreaker to single combat, defeat him, become Queen of the Zerkers and spend the rest of my life riding a giant motorcycle over frozen tundra.

D.D. Barant

#9. I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword.

Derek Landy

#10. One could reconcile oneself to existence only because it was meaningless. It

W. Somerset Maugham

#11. Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you're (linguistically) dead.

David Crystal

#12. I purpose publishing these Letters here in the world before I return to you. Two editions. One, unedited, for Bible readers and their children; the other, expurgated, for persons of refinement

Mark Twain

#13. Get fat if you can, boys. Tomorrow's bringin' her sister.

Gary Prisk

#14. Some of the best work done to combat the Republicans has been wit and humor.

Julianna Baggott

#15. If your opponent has you by fifty pounds, winning a fight against him is a dubious proposition, at best. If your opponent has you by eight thousand and fifty pounds, you've left the realm of combat and enrolled yourself in Road-kill 101. Or possibly in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Jim Butcher

#16. A South Korean inventor has finally created the robot that mankind has been waiting for. Scientists who have been worried about the robot apocalypse can finally set aside their fears thanks to the new robot Drinky, machines are no longer going to enslave us. They're going to puke on our shoes.

Mike Pesca

#17. The Rule of 72 is useful in determining how fast money will grow. Take the annual return from any investment, expressed as a percentage, and divide it into 72. The result is the number of years it will take to double your money.

Peter Lynch

#18. I was a product of a divorced family and I used humor as a weapon to combat sadness. I used comedy to make my mother laugh in light of the darkness that she faced, and to me it became a very powerful tool at a very young age, at six. I saw how therapeutic it could be.

Josh Gad

#19. I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor.

Joel McHale

#20. Drainage tubes ran out of his belly and side, and there was a catheter the size of a pencil coming out his penis. Nothing particularly hurt, so he had to assume he was on pretty nearly all the narcotics there were.

James S.A. Corey

#21. With everyone lounging around, eating sleeping, sunning, pooping, it looks like some weird combat version of an outdoor rock festival.

Evan Wright

#22. I could try to dematerialize and find my way back, but knowing my luck, I'd end up in a terrorist training camp. Or a men's prison. Or a feminine hygiene commercial.

Darynda Jones

#23. Laeth returned her smile with one as wicked, as he posed the favorite question of one of the combat instructors, "How many ways are there to kill a person with a knife?"
"It doesn't matter, it only takes one to do the job," returned Rialla.

Patricia Briggs

#24. You teach combat, I guess."
Aphros threw up his hands in exasperation. "Why does everyone assume that?"
Leo glanced at the massive sword on the fish-guy's back. "Uh, I don't know.

Rick Riordan

#25. Whenever I look at the masses, I feel one day the earth will certainly explode.

M.F. Moonzajer

#26. If we adopted Jack," I quip, "we'd have to give him combat pay for an allowance

Daven Anderson

#27. He could do this. He'd survived boot camp. He'd survived combat and the harsh weather of Afghanistan. He could survive broccoli. Probably.

Shannon Stacey