Clement Freud Sayings

#1. If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, - That's because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit

Clement Freud

#2. Owning a racehorse is probably the most expensive way of getting on to a racecourse for nothing.

Clement Freud

#3. There's no law that decrees when not to whinge, but you reach a certain age - 80 seems about right - when you're expected to manifest querulousness - the coffee's too hot, the boiled egg's too soft ...

Clement Freud

#4. To barbecue is a way of life rather than a desirable method of cooking.

Clement Freud

#5. If you mind losing more than you enjoy winning, don't bet.

Clement Freud

#6. For what are we left with if there remains no mystery? What hope might we find if we know all of the answers?

R.A. Salvatore

#7. I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.

Will Rogers

#8. In moments of considerable strain, I tend to take to bread-and-butter pudding. There is something about the blandness of soggy bread, the crispness of the golden outer crust and the unadulterated pleasure of a lightly set custard that makes the world seem a better place to live.

Clement Freud

#9. You can never turn your back on the ocean.

Rip Torn

#10. I find it hard to say, because when I was there it seemed to be shut.

Clement Freud

#11. You always feel like you are the only one in the world, like everyone else is crazy for each other, but it's not true. Generally, people don't like each other very much. And that goes for friends, too.

Miranda July

#12. I've known Nicholas Parsons for a fairly long time and his geniune pleasures are in rubber tubes, metal clips

Clement Freud

#13. Congealed fat is pretty much the same, irrespective of the delicacy around which it is concealed.

Clement Freud

#14. Breakfast is a notoriously difficult meal to serve with a flourish.

Clement Freud

#15. I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men.

Clement Freud

#16. If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

Clement Freud

#17. I'm a vegetarian. I believe that we're all equal. I ain't got no right to kill. Say a fly comes in my house, I tolerate that little a**hole.

Russell Brand

#18. I understand it is 13-8 against Egon Ronay publishing a Good Betting Shop Food Guide by 1997.

Clement Freud

#19. It is essential that we understand people for who they are as individuals and not the public perception of them or their family and past.

Clement Freud

#20. How do you fight an invisible opponent like suspicion?

Lance Armstrong

#21. I was going to talk about Nicholas Parsons' ignorance, but 18 seconds would be a wholly insufficient time.

Clement Freud

#22. Cold morning on Aztec Peak Fire Lookout. First, build fire in old stove. Second, start coffee. Then, heat up last night's pork chops and spinach for breakfast. Why not? And why the hell not?

Edward Abbey