Chuck Lorre Quotes

#1. I had this job at Hollywood Video, and during my worst audition ever, I forgot all of my lines in front of Chuck Lorre at the callback for the 'Mike and Molly' pilot.

Lamorne Morris

#2. Of all the featherless beasts, only man, chained by his self-imposed slavery to the clock, denies the elemental fire and proceeds as best he can about his business, suffering quietly, martyr to his madness. Much to learn.

Edward Abbey

#3. That is, while we believe that cost-benefit analysis is an important tool to inform agency decision making, the results of the cost-benefit analysis do not trump existing law.

Fred Thompson

#4. I dare anyone to spend 10 years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre's hive of oppression and not suffer some form of an emotional tsunami.

Charlie Sheen

#5. I believe that the Laws of Karma do not apply to show business, where good things happen to bad people on a fairly regular basis.

Chuck Lorre

#6. Playing Sheldon is just heaven for me. I realize how enormously lucky I am to play a role that makes me so incredibly happy. As I told Chuck Lorre in a Christmas card a few years ago, I'm living a version of the dream.

Jim Parsons

#7. It's safe to talk openly and honestly with people because they're not really listening.

Chuck Lorre

#8. I know Chuck Lorre personally, and am familiar with his work going back to 'Roseanne' and 'Cybil.'

Bob Newhart

#9. For the record, I do have genitals; and they are functional and aesthetically pleasing.

Chuck Lorre

#10. My time at Yahoo, from its founding to the present, has encompassed some of the most exciting and rewarding experiences of my life.

Jerry Yang

#11. All the privileged can travel, see different worlds; not everyone can. I think it is important for people to have an interesting locale nearby.

Zaha Hadid

#12. Don't forget that you are the product of a culture that went stark raving mad about ten thousand years ago. Adjust your thinking accordingly.

Chuck Lorre

#13. I am a man of science, not someone's snuggle-bunny!

Chuck Lorre

#14. I believe I'm growing skeptical of cynicism.

Chuck Lorre

#15. It's been a great honor for me to be a player for the Detroit Red Wings, to play for an Original Six franchise. I know I'm far from perfect, but I learned a lot.

Steve Yzerman

#16. That's a discovery process. That's the terrifying and wonderful part about getting picked up to series. You get to develop the stories and talk about the characters, and find out where the heart of the series is.

Chuck Lorre

#17. It's a privilege to play music fora living. Even more, it's a privilege to have an audience. Respect that.

Bob Lefsetz

#18. Anyone can show exceptional leadership ability in easy times. When all's going to plan, anyone can be inspirational/excellent/innovative and strong. The real question is how do you show up when everything's falling apart?

Robin S. Sharma

#19. I believe that the obsessive worship of movie, TV and sports figures is less likely to produce spiritual gain than praying to Thor.

Chuck Lorre

#20. People who write poisonous things about your work are using up precious moments of their life dwelling on yours. These are moments they will never get back. Let that be a comfort to you.

Chuck Lorre

#21. People often swear the first time they see my work. I like that.

Willard Wigan

#22. If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed.

Chuck Lorre

#23. Do not scorn little victories.

Andre Gide

#24. For every man that ever walked the Earth, except maybe the sociopaths, when it comes to talking to pretty girls ... it's just stark terror.

Chuck Lorre

#25. I am wired on some deep level to seek out something to be worried and obsess about.

Chuck Lorre

#26. According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you're having your gangrenous leg sawed off, watching your home burn down or learning how to be intimate with your cellmate, but, in the big scheme of things, soon.

Chuck Lorre

#27. What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits'? Does he provide her with health insurance?

Chuck Lorre

#28. I love Chuck Lorre. I did a little guest spot on 'Roseanne' when I was fourteen. It was a whirlwind experience in a week and I think with Chuck, I had auditioned for him for a couple of other shows of his over the years.

Sara Rue

#29. He was the kind of guy who dragged you out of the lake, shoved you down on the ground, growling and groping you, telling you all the dirty things he wanted to do to you ... and then he did them. No-holds-barred, invasive, mind-numbing, disturbingly awesome things.

Madeline Sheehan

#30. Is my coitus whimsically inventive?

Chuck Lorre

#31. Woss the matter with you?" asked Big Ted, irritably. "Go on. Press 'D.' Elvis Presley died in 1976."
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT SAYS, said the tall biker in the helmet, I NEVER LAID A FINGER ON HIM.

Terry Pratchett

#32. I won't say that all senior citizens who can't master technology should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of one or two, it might give the others incentive to try harder.

Chuck Lorre

#33. Chuck Lorre and I had been talking about doing one of his shows for a while. I said I'd like to do 'The Big Bang Theory,' because I think it's the best written, most intelligent show on television.

Bob Newhart

#34. Love, sex, food, friendship, art, play, beauty and the simple pleasure of a cup of tea are all well and good, but never forget that God/the universe is determined to kill you by whatever means necessary.

Chuck Lorre

#35. Your character that you create in your writing not only represents who you are, but also represents a number of people who you've met along the way.

Grant Morrison

#36. I'm an old guitar player who has fallen into television and is so happy he did.

Chuck Lorre

#37. Life is never quite like the brochure.

Chuck Lorre