Christmas Comedy Sayings

#1. Well, it's a little odd, the path I took, because when I was young, I wanted to be a cattle rancher. That was what I knew and that was what I liked.

Sandra Day O'Connor

#2. I love people, and I love to be with people and to make music with people, but my natural state is to revert back to being by myself in my house, which is cool because that's where I practice and write and listen and study.

Esperanza Spalding

#3. Oh yeah, well I suddenly realises that she'd only been with my boyfriend at the Co-op Christmas do when I were eighteen. So I grabs her head and I stuck it through a display of them Muller's rices and I told her. That's for shagging Kevin Cooper you stupid fucking cunt.

St John Morris

#4. Gay James: Well, why don't you stop playing games and give us a little of your private self?
Straight James: Kind of impossible, don't you think? As soon as I share it, it becomes public.

James Franco

#5. But curses are not real. Earth is all magma and continental crust and ocean. Gravity and time. Isn't it?

Anthony Doerr

#6. I'm 30, it's Christmas, and I'm a writer without a job. I sit here
engulfed in a furious fit of frustration. My future unknown. My
nuts so small you could fit them in a gnat's navel and have room
left over for my brain.

Josh Mitchell

#7. There's no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor's yard.

Dan Florence

#8. I never watched wrestling, I was never a fan of wrestling really.

George Steele

#9. I can fly around the world in one night. I can wink and go up a chimney in a split second. I can be in 500 shopping malls on the same weekend. I can even fit enough gifts for the entire world into one tiny sleigh pulled by eight tiny reindeer, but I CANNOT FIX THIS CONFOUNDED COMPUTER!

Bobbi A. Chukran

#10. The land is not old. It only changes, becoming one thing and the next. We are the ones who ascribe age, the brevity of our lives demanding a beginning, middle and end.

Craig Childs

#11. True patience is grounded in wisdom & compassion.

Allan Lokos

#12. I can take this real world and superimpose upon it the world of illusion (which isn't, really), in order to either fix or prevent many of life's difficulties
or even better, create happiness and well-being for both myself and others. I can do this, and so can you ... if you really want to.

Silver RavenWolf

#13. I don't have the luxury of doing things privately.

Chaz Bono

#14. How beautiful it is to see that young people are 'street preachers,' joyfully bringing Jesus to every street, every town square and every corner of the earth!

Pope Francis