Top 100 Chris Rock Quotes
#1. Things that make me laugh range from a wonderful stand-up like Jerry Seinfeld, Louis C.K. and Chris Rock to my son Gabe, who does great improv work. I also look backwards to the great comedic actors like Jackie Gleason, Paul Lynde and Phil Silvers.
Jason Alexander
#2. The most offensive thing that ever occurred in 'The New Yorker' would be, like, the mildest thing at a Chris Rock concert.
Robert Mankoff
#3. Is Chris Rock still gonna host the Oscars after this blatant racism?? Is everyone still gonna show up??
Tyrese Gibson
#4. I wouldn't call myself a standup in the presence of Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock, but I do my share of it and it has been and remains part of my activity and I like it.
Alan Thicke
#5. I like 'The Usual Suspects'. Great film. I also like 'Scarface', films like that. Lots of gangster films. I really like watching all kinds of films, dramas, romance. I'll watch comedies. I like Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Denzel Washington, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle. I'd like to meet them.
Barkhad Abdi
#6. The Academy Awards ceremony is designed to be without irony, but Chris Rock supplied it anyway with filmed movie-theater interviews with black men and women who had never heard of the movies nominated for Best Picture.
Suzanne Fields
#7. I like Louis C.K., Chris Rock. Old schools like Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy.
Adam DeVine
#8. I used to live in Chris Rock's former apartment. I've got some junk mail for him if he wants it.
Adrian Tomine
#10. W. Kamau Bell is in the vanguard of a new era of American comedy for an unsettling, troubling, and strangely hopeful time. Firmly in the fearless tradition of Mort Sahl, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, & Chris Rock. Comedy as common sense purged of the absurd hypocrisy that is Our America.
Vernon Reid
#11. I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.
Chris Rock
#12. Like I said about Seinfeld and Chris Rock, they're a great combination of brilliance and hard work. [But] there are people who are brilliant and don't work hard, and there are people who are brilliant and sabotage themselves
Sarah Silverman
#13. A lot of comics aren't their on-screen personas; Chris Rock isn't always ranting and raving. What I do is make myself this over-the-top character that people either find endearing or they think is a joke. Then I can do anything I want.
Billy Eichner
#14. Chris Rock went from a guy whose name you knew from SNL to a legendary comedian by working his ass off.
Ted Alexandro
#15. We did that with people like Chris Rock, Woody Harrelson, and the environmentalist Julia Butterfly Hill.
Anthony Kiedis
#16. My thing is you're only as good as the people you work with. I've been blessed to work with the Wayanses and Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler and Chris Rock, and it makes you better.
Terry Crews
#17. At the end of the day, I want to be part of the same conversation as Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor.
Kevin Hart
#18. When you get off stage, the audience should know a little bit about you. Not where you are from, but how you see the world. And that's the difference between like a Chris Rock joke, and like an open-miker.
Iliza Shlesinger
#19. People like to compare something to something that they know. Even with Chris Rock, they say he's like Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy.
Hannibal Buress
#20. I like Chris Rock. He's dangerous.
Mel Brooks
#21. Chris Rock is a good friend of mine, and he is hysterical.
Kid Rock
#22. Chris Rock does the political thing really well, but that never worked for me.
Kevin Hart
#23. I think Chris Rock at the Oscars was a great example. I thought that was intellectually hilarious. The Gap starts a war with Banana Republic ... That to me was funny.
Christopher Meloni
#24. I learned from the guys before me - Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, just to name a few. These are guys that let it all hang out. What they lived is what they took to the stage.
Kevin Hart
#25. I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'.
Chris Rock
#26. As far as guys who perform onstage, I love Chris Rock. I'm kind of jaded on everyone else.
Gabriel Iglesias
#27. The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Aziz Ansari
#28. There was this whole middle time that only Chris Rock came out of, you know, 10 years ago it was Chris and a few other people, but that's about it. Chris is in a class of his own; I don't see another comedian who I put in high regard as him.
Bob Saget
#29. I was influenced by a lot of stand-up comedians ... Eddie Murphy back when he was doing 'Raw.' I watched that so many times as a kid, I can probably still quote the entire thing to this day. Chris Rock. Dave Chappelle. George Carlin. A lot of the guys who were sort of edgy for their time.
Ray William Johnson
#30. I actually opened for Chris Rock at the Funny Bone one time.
Adam McKay
#31. I thought, "why don't we be innovative and create something nobody had ever done before?" It was a huge hit and we immediately did a sequel with Chris Rock, Morgan Freeman, Tina Turner and Maya Angelou.
Henry Louis Gates
#32. When you're onstage with Chris Rock, anything can happen. He is one of the greatest comic geniuses we've ever seen.
Yul Vazquez
#33. As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they're the funniest. I wish I were a black comedian, actually.
Adam DeVine
#34. Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
Artie Lange
#35. The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
Chris Rock
#36. People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
Chris Rock
#37. If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
Chris Rock
#38. Oprah is so rich, I saw John Kerry proposing to her.
Chris Rock
#39. Women can have all the evidence but they still want the confession.
Chris Rock
#40. You don't pay taxes-they take taxes.
Chris Rock
#41. It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.
Chris Rock
#42. "Go and Say Goodbye" by the Buffalo Springfield stands as one of the first examples of what would later be branded country rock
Chris Hillman
#43. I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive me to my mother's, so I'd be with my grandfather a lot. I used to watch him write his sermons.
Chris Rock
#44. No matter what happens or how difficult things become, you will eventually feel better.
Chris Rock
#45. I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like "How do I make this stuff funny?"
Chris Rock
#46. When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
Chris Rock
#47. When you're white, the sky's the limit. When you're black, the limit's the sky.
Chris Rock
#48. If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.
Chris Rock
#49. Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.
Chris Rock
#50. Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!
Chris Rock
#51. There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.
Chris Rock
#53. You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Chris Rock
#54. One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart make you pancakes?"
Chris Rock
#55. Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
Chris Rock
#56. I'm in show business ... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
Chris Rock
#57. Whatever your pleasure, I can facilitate. You need weed, you need meth- hey, you need Prozac, I'm your man. I know how you white boys always deal with that depression. I mean me personally, I don't understand what you white boys are all depressed about. Hey, you're white! Smile!
Chris Rock
#58. I do what I can do when I can do it.
Chris Rock
#59. Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Chris Rock
#60. Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everyone else.
Chris Rock
#61. If I find a comedy club where no one's camera works, I'll go.
Chris Rock
#62. I pray there's a God ... I know there's an Oprah.
Chris Rock
#63. The thing about Barack Obama, just from being around him, is he's cooler than the other politicians, but just nerdy enough to do the job. Like you can't be really cool and be the president.
Chris Rock
#64. Climbing is a full-body sport from your fingers to your toes, but at the same time, it's like a dance on the rock. It's about being strong and fit but also graceful and elegant and efficient on the rock.
Chris Sharma
#65. I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
Chris Rock
#66. Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.
Chris Rock
#67. Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
Chris Rock
#68. If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
Chris Rock
#69. Kennedy didn't beat Nixon. Satire beat Nixon.
Chris Rock
#70. So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America ... but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's doing that to keep the Feds off her back.
Chris Rock
#71. I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both.
Chris Rock
#72. In true rock star fashiuon, I had insomina last night and I didn't sleep at all. So all I need is a bottle of Jack Daniels and some groupies, and I'll be just like David Lee Roth.
Chris Jericho
#73. We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
Chris Rock
#74. Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
Chris Rock
#75. You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
Chris Rock
#76. I like talking about subjects that aren't funny in the first place and making them funny. So anything down and depressing is something I'll talk about.
Chris Rock
#78. I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
Chris Rock
#79. I always say there's no more little girls, just boys with breasts. Girls act like boys nowadays. Teenage girls, they go after boys. They're predatory just like boys. My goal is to keep my girls, girls.
Chris Rock
#80. You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.
Chris Rock
#81. You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.
Chris Rock
#82. Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.
Chris Rock
#83. I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
Chris Rock
#84. A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.
Chris Rock
#85. I don't think you can be a mysterious rock star the same way you could in 1965 because there's too much information. Everything you do is available all the time. So the only thing you can rely on is not being false.
Chris Martin
#86. My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
Chris Rock
#87. Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
Chris Rock
#88. I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird.
Chris Rock
#89. I'd like to be in a Spike Jonze movie. But I live in a Nancy Meyers movie.
Chris Rock
#90. I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
Chris Rock
#91. My relationship with my daughter is gonna affect her relationship with men for the rest of her life ... Sometimes I'm walking with my daughter. I'm pushing her in the stroller, and sometimes I just pick her up and stare at her, and I realize, my only job in life is to keep her off the pole.
Chris Rock
#92. Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
Chris Rock
#93. He said I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war, if you can tell me something worth fighting for. Oh and I'm gonna buy this place, that's what I said.
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head
Chris Martin
#94. I took my AlDS test. You start reflecting ... You start thinking about every nasty, skank-ass ... It's like the movie Scrooge, and the Ghost of Pussy Past comes.
Chris Rock
#95. Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.
Chris Rock
#96. Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.
Chris Rock
#97. I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
Chris Rock
#98. I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
Chris Rock
#99. I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
Chris Rock
#100. When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.
Chris Rock
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