Top 100 Charley Davidson Quotes
#1. Sometimes I crave pickles. Other times I crave the blood of my enemy. Weird. - CHARLEY DAVIDSON
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#2. Charley Davidson, Private Investigator, Because No One Is Better At Investigating Your Privates
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#3. I have depth. I've read Proust. No, wait, that was Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. My bad
Charley Davidson.
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#4. One day, I'm going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson."
I had no idea she was into anal.
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#5. I was more than willing to put aside the Charley Davidson Book of Etiquette and Mud Wrestling if it resulted in earth-shattering orgasms.
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#6. I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
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#7. Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her ... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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#8. My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up.
- Charley Davidson
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#10. No one could have survived that fall. Not even a supernatural being. Not even the son of Satan. He lay there, unmoving, and I could not wrap my head around it.
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#12. In three hundred feet, turn right, Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him anything.
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#13. I could fight a dozen hounds from hell, I could bring down the son of Satan with a word, but put me in the ring with a psychotic chick, and I go down in the first.
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#14. It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles.
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#15. Uncle Bob answered, his tone brusque. "What have you got?"
"Besides great boobs?" I asked.
"On the case."
He was so testy.
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#16. I soaked him in. His image. His scent. His feel.
He pulled me to him. Dipped his head. Pressed his mouth to mine in a kiss I could only hope would not be our last.
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#17. Garrett must have sensed I was awake. "Hey Detective," he said to Uncle Bob, who was now trudging across the grating toward us. "I think we're losing her. I have no choice but to perform mouth-to-mouth."
"Don't you dare," I said, my lids still in lockdown.
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#18. NOPE. CAN'T GO TO HELL.SATAN STILL HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST ME.
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#19. You are the worst greeter in the history of greeters ever. In the history. Of time. And greeters." "Greeter? You think I'm a greeter?" Talk about a demotion. "Yes. To the other side?" She pointed up. "Dude, calling me a greeter is like calling Saint Peter a ticket taker.
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#20. I don't think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated. - T-SHIRT
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#21. Cookie&Charley Coffee moments:
"You did your dishes with shampoo?"
"It was either that or my apricot body scrub."
"No, good call. A little shampoo won't hurt you.
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#22. Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
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#23. When I'm not scouring through the backstreets of every city in the state, I keep an eye on the girl. My girl.
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#24. I watched as Reyes fell, a scream I couldn't hear wrenched from my throat as I waited for him to do something. For him to react. To save himself. It was Reyes, after all. He could do anything.
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#25. And he was damned nice to look at, even when he scowled. In fact, if I were totally honest, that scowl only added to the allure that was Reyes Farrow. Damn it. When I scowled, I looked constipated. Leave it to the son of Satan to turn a scowl into the stuff of fantasies.
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#26. My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos.
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#27. But, you're his son," I said, trying really hard to hate him. "You're the son of Satan. Literally."
"And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson."
Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, "Okay, point taken.
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#28. Our relationship was a lot like underwear in a dryer without a static control sheet. One minute we were floating through life, buoyant and carefree. The next we were attached at the crotch
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#30. Where have you been?"
I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. "Out trying to pass myself off as a movie producer to get hot guys to sleep with me. Where have you been?
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#31. Is that what you think? That I follow you around to keep your ass out of trouble?"
"If so, you're not very good at your job."
A huge smile spread across his face. "True enough. So what's eating you? Because, sadly, it's not me.
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#32. I knew it!" she said, glaring at me. "You're in league with the devil." "Duh. I'm affianced to him. Or, well, his son. I guess that makes me 'in league' with him, but you can't judge people by their in-laws. In-laws are all crazy. Everyone knows that.
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#33. We should date."
I laughed, curled him into my arms, and kissed the soft spot underneath his earlobe. "You're going to have to go to obedience school for that to happen. You have authority issues."
"Never mind. We should have sex again and then date."
"Since you put it that way, okay.
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#34. What other secrets are you hiding behind those sparkling eyes?"
He grinned. "You have my heart. That's where I hide all my secrets."
"Then I guess I don't have the key."
"Are you kidding? You forged the key.
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#35. Where the hell did my bones go? I asked. This whole upright thing had me stumped.
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#36. I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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#37. This was insane. What was wrong with the world? Didn't they know that ghosts and supernatural powers where little girls helped their dads and uncles solve case didn't exist?
It was books. It was television shows and movies. They had desensitized the world.
Damn writers.
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#38. Charley's "FOR THE LOVE OF":
"Oh,FOR THE LOVE OF gravy"
"Just be honest with me, FOR THE LOVE OF applesauce, Gemma."
"But FOR THE LOVE OF marinara, I typed, don't shoot anyone.
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#39. If he didn't hate me so much and he wasn't an evil supernatural being, I'd be on him like black on Cookie's toast.
That woman could not make toast.
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#40. You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn't. You're not nearly as muscular.
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#41. We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
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#42. And just how, exactly, do you feed off the souls of humans? Is it like a vitamin-deficiency thing?
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#43. He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
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#44. I thought you were mad at me." "I am." "Well, I make it a rule never to have sex with anyone who's mad at me." He arched a brow. "It's a wonder you've ever had sex at all.
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#45. Did you really think that when I learned my celestial name, I'd leave? I'd forget all about you?"
"You did leave. You did forget all about me."
"That's different."
"The pain was just real."
He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed as though his life depended on it.
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#46. Few things in life are as surprising as having your husband, the man you gave your heart and soul to, throw you off a 350-foot building. I should know.
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#47. Just how many drinks have you had?"
"Not enough," he said, his voice oceans deep.
"Not enough to forget her?"
"There isn't enough alcohol on the planet to make me forget her.
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#48. Have you slept yet?'
'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.'
'Didn't you drive there?'
'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'
- Charley & Cookie
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#49. I brought out the most powerful tool I had in my arsenal. "If you resist," I said into Reyes's ear, "I'll be forced to Taser you."
He looked at what I had in my hand. "That's a phone."
"I have an app. You'll probably experience nerve damage. Slight memory loss.
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#50. Does Uncle Bob have anything?"
"I heard he has an STD."
"I mean on the women."
"Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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#51. Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. "Do you still like me?"
"I never liked you."
Oh, right. He had a point.
Garreth & Charley
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#52. Reyes and I sat arm in arm in the back of the rented SUV. He seemed relieved. Happy.
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#53. My phone pinged. It was a text from Cookie.
I'm not good at cocking guns.
Really? Did she not know me at all?
I texted her back.
You can do this. Learn the cock, Cookie.
Know the cock.
Be the cock.
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#54. The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of less is more.
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#55. I have them a few minutes to absorb everything while I teased Ubie, who only had to recover from his near-death experience. I was so glad Reyes hadn't ripped him to shreds. I liked him much better un-shredded. Unlike, say, my preference for lettuce or heavy metal guitar solos.
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#56. He's an enigma wrapped up in sensuality padlocked with a dozen chains of desire and topped off with a razor-sharp ribbon of danger. There are more layers to him than a billionaire's wedding cake.
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#57. Carson," she said when she picked up. I liked it. Clear. Concise. To the point.
I decided to try it myself. "Davidson."
A loud sigh filtered to me. "Charley, you called me. You can't just say Davidson."
"What are you, the phone greeting police?
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#58. There's another part, an obstinate part, that wants more. That wants Dutch live and in the flesh. That wants her hand. Her mouth. Her hips under mine. It wants all of her. Every last ounce. Body and soul.
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#59. I don't know. You just seem different now. Distant. Like you have PTSD.
I knew from where I spoke. My TSD got P'd when I was tortured by a monster named Earl.
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#60. Okay but he has a case for you," she said again, her voice singsong.
"Don't care."
"It's right up your alley. There's been a rash of suicide notes."
"That's not right up my alley. That's, like, two blocks over from my alley.
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#61. I'd tried to be washed of my sin once, but I ran out of Dial. Tricky business, that.
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#62. Gemma was so determined for me to deal with my PTSD, but I thought I was doing pretty well with it. We were friends now. I had my incontinence under control
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#63. The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. "I can't move my legs."
I snorted. "You can't move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You're dead.
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#64. The rush of adrenaline helped. Not a lot. I still needed a caffeine fix, but at least I was awake enough to realize I quite possibly had my underwear on inside out. Something didn't feel right down yonder.
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#65. Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
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#66. I'm like crack. People don't want to like me, but once they get a taste, they always come back for more.
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#67. A wicked grin crinkled one corner of his mouth as he secured another sticky note on the door before shutting it in my face.
I blinked, then read the note.
Use the key.
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#68. Cookie saw him, too. "Holy mother of all things sexy," she said, her eyes drinking him in.
"Right there with ya.
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#69. My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
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#70. What do you want?"
"You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and soul. I want you in my bed every night. I want you there when I wake up in the morning. I want your clothes strung across my apartment and your scent on my skin.
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#71. And who came up with the animals for these euphemisms, anyway? Why bat shit? Why not cow shit or grasshopper shit? And why don't we give a rat's ass as opposed to a hamster's ass?
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#72. Suddenly I'm that chick from Fatal Attraction. Next thing you know, I'll be boiling rabbits.
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#73. Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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#74. I was freaking her out, but someone had to do it, damn it
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#75. The regular I both feared and salivated to see was names Reyes Farrow. Where others exuded aggression, deception, and insecurity, he literally dripped confidence, sex, and power. Mostly sex.
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#76. How would you like your eggs?"
I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?
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#77. They were back. The demons in all their glory. And they had a plan. I made plans sometimes, too, but they rarely involved world domination. Hot dogs on a grill, maybe. Tequila.
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#78. I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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#79. Keep Reading.
Keep Writing.
Keep Pushing yourself!
And never stop learning!
We writerly types have to stick together mostly because everybody else thinks we're "weird".
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#80. Time-out," I said. He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. "You're putting me in time-out?"
"Yes," I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips.
"If I don't go, do I get a spanking?
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#81. Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy."
"Do you even know what that means?"
"No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
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#82. Well?" she asked when she picked up.
"Do you think we're really alone in the universe?"
"Were you abducted by aliens again?"
"No, thank goodness. Once was enough for me."
"Oh, whew. So, what happened with Reyes? Did you see him?"
"Saw him. Argued with him. Barfed.
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#83. She blinked at me, then realized I was panicking. Honestly, it was like admitting to murder before being interrogated.
"Ms. Davidson," she began, but I decided to trip her up, to throw her off the trail of blood I'd left like an injured animal.
"I don't speak English.
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#84. A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
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#85. He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
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#86. I could've knocked the shit out of her .She'd have good reason to roll her eyes then. But knocking the shit out of rude people wasn't my style. Heckling them every chance I got was.
Hopefully she'd screw up soon. I didn't have all day.
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#87. Rey'azikeen."
He'd offered me one last glance and winked a microsecond before he was gone.
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#88. There must be a special, less volcanic portion of hell that was partitioned off and set aside for people who weren't all bad, just a little vindictive. They could call it the drama queen ward. It would be a huge hit.
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#89. Why can't we have one of those quick pregnancies like Bella and Edward? Gwen from Torchwood. Scully. Deanna Troi. Or even Cordelia when that demon impregnated her. Twenty-four hours later bam! Demon child.
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#90. I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
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#91. Gemma," I said, adding a singsong whine to my voice, "now I can't scare her. You can't go around telling people about me.
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#92. A split second later, my life flashed before my eyes, and I came to one important conclusion about it.
It was fun while it lasted.
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#93. Oh, yeah, this girl was going down. She had no idea who she was messing with. And, sadly, she didn't seem to care.
I hoped her drawer came up short at the end of her shift. Karma's a bitch.
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#94. Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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#95. Wait." I looked around. "How did you get here?"
"I ran."
I reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Scrolling through his menu, I said, "You called a cab."
"But I ran to the cab when it got to the cemetery.
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#96. There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated.
Charley
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#97. I didn't realize until I locked the door to my apartment and leaned against it, panting that my cheeks were covered in frozen tears. I was such an idiot. And my heart hurt. Bad. Every beat sent an ache rocketing through my body. I was having a heart attack. Or, more likely, my heart had just broken.
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#98. I called my friend Pari on the way home. "I need you to do my apt."
"I'm not that attracted to your apt."
"I think I'm being bugged."
"Like I am? Right now?
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#99. My real mom died when I was born - hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to
me, which has never been one of my favorite memories - and Dad married Denise before I'd turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the
matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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#100. The dreams continue for over a month. Each reveals a new facet of her personality. One night, she is wild and unpredictable. The next, she is shy or giggly or coy. She laughs and growls and bites and sucks.
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