Top 34 Chaplain Quotes
#1. Suppose that you didn't make your Easter duty and it's Pentecost Sunday, the last day, and you're on a ship at sea. And the chaplain goes into a coma! But you wanted to receive. And then it's Monday, too late ... But then you cross the International Date Line! Would that then be a sin then, Father?
George Carlin
#2. He lived long enough to give the chaplain his name - John Goetchius - but died before he could tell the kind man where his home was.
Katherine Paterson
#3. The chaplain of the Senate does not pray for the Senate. He watches the Senate and prays for the country.
Sam Levenson
#4. There's a Chaplain who never visited the front.
Kurt Vonnegut
#5. What a book a devil's chaplain might write on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low, and horribly cruel work of nature!
Charles Darwin
#6. Chaplain Vega's a tall Mexican guy with a mustache that looks like it's about to jump off his face and fuck the first rodent it finds. Kind of mustache only a chaps could get away with in the military.
Phil Klay
#7. A chaplain's assistant is customarily a figure of fun in the American Army.
Kurt Vonnegut
#8. The Governor was strong upon
The Regulation Act:
The Doctor said that Death was but
A scientific fact:
And twice a day the Chaplain called,
And left a little tract.
Oscar Wilde
#9. When I was 14 a chaplain at school gave me a reading list. I read everything and I went back to him with a question: how can you really believe in this stuff?
A.C. Grayling
#10. The House of Commons starts its proceedings with a prayer. The chaplain looks at the assembled members with their varied intelligence and then prays for the country.
Alfred Denning, Baron Denning
#11. He that preaches war is the devil's chaplain.
John Ray
#12. A smile stretches across his [Pigpen] face. "Naw, but we had a chaplain over in Afghanistan. Cool son of a bitch. And he'd do this. Out of nowhere tell a story that would put it in perspective.
Katie McGarry
#13. The Bible says there is a time for peace and a time for war. Now is the time for war. I cannot wait to say it is now a time for peace." - MAJ James Brisson, Chaplain, 1-160th SOAR, 19 October 2001, Afghanistan
Oliver North
#14. Not long ago I heard a Navy chaplain refer to the sage advice of the Apostle to put first things first ... If we are to heed the admonition to put first things first ... one of the main essentials which lies at the very beginning of civilization is that of security.
Calvin Coolidge
#15. Do you pray for the senators, Dr. Hale?' someone asked the chaplain. No, I look at the senators and I pray for the country.
Edward Everett Hale
#16. When in Reading Gaol he told me that the warders in the dock had been gentle and kind, but the visit of the chaplain in his first prison began with these words:
'Mr. Wilde, did you have morning prayers in your house?'
'I am sorry ... I fear not.'
'You see where you are now!
Charles Ricketts
#17. The culture of sexual violence was so pervasive that even the prison chaplain was sexually assaulting women when they came to the chapel.
Bryan Stevenson
#18. I don't think ministering requires a religious context. The number one thing is that every parent is extremely worried about their kid. Of course, when a chaplain shows up, that can exacerbate this worry rather than calm it.
John Green
#19. Tender Warrior," Adam replied and showed John the cover. "You can read it; I'm almost done. Check this out," he said, thumbing backward through the pages. "It was written by Stu Weber, a Vietnam veteran, Special Forces. He became a chaplain.
Eric Blehm
#20. You know what, citizens? If you don't have a gun - I'm telling you as a Christian chaplain - sell your clothes, and buy a gun. It's time! The government persecution will be coming against you, and you needs to arm yourselves ...
Gordon Klingenschmitt
#21. An atheist chaplain would be the perfect vehicle for convincing wounded warriors that they should end their lives because there's nothing in the future and there's nothing now, so why not just save money and kill themselves.
Gordon Klingenschmitt
#22. I realized during my time as a chaplain that I didn't want to be a minister.
John Green
#23. Most people do not realize that there was a paid chaplain in Congress even before the Revolutionary War ended.
Francis Schaeffer
#24. A chaplain's biggest gift is to be present and just listen.
Diane Johnson
#25. It is the church's job, as Dr.[Martin Luther] King says, to be the conscience of the state, not the chaplain of the state.
Shane Claiborne
#26. I think it was so splendid in Father to go as a chaplain when he was too old to be drafted, and not strong enough for a soldier, said Meg warmly.
Louisa May Alcott
#27. The Concord Coalition in Virginia complained about pork projects and wasteful spending in the federal budget. Consider the Senate chaplain's salary. As occupations go, only mind readers in Los Angeles have fewer things to do all day.
Argus Hamilton
#28. How wicked it would be, if we could, to call the dead back! She said not to me but to the chaplain, 'I am at peace with God.' She smiled, but not at me. Poi si torno all' eterna fontana.
C.S. Lewis
#29. It isn't necessary to call me Father, the chaplain explained. I'm an Anabaptist.
Joseph Heller
#30. Turn pimp, flatterer, quack, lawyer, parson, be chaplain to an atheist, or stallion to an old woman, anything but a poet; for a poet is worse, more servile, timorous and fawning than any I have named.
William Congreve
#31. It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him.
Joseph Heller
#33. Molecular evidense suggests that our common ancestor with the chimpanzees lived, in Africa, between 5 and 7 million years ago, say half a million generations ago. This is not long by evolutionary standards.
Richard Dawkins
#34. If you like pray like a praying mantis or fast like a faxing machine, if you have no faith, you are just wasting your time and energy.
Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha
