Top 83 Canned Quotes
#2. Most of the animated films I watched, the emotions are all prepackaged like canned music, the hand actions, the sighs.
Ralph Bakshi
#3. Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#4. I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff. I've got a dry sense of humor.
Katie Price
#5. Heartbreak is stupid and impossible. Hearts don't break. Hearts squeeze, they wrench, they ache, they shrivel. Hearts pull apart in wet chunks like canned tomatoes.
Jael McHenry
#6. The hospital that feeds you refined sugar, white bread, canned soup, bouillon cubes, and frozen vegetables should be closed by the health department as a menace to the public health.
David Reuben
#7. I'd done two years' worth of extra work, and all my friends who I would go on auditions with went to school for acting. These were kids who knew when they were 14 years old that this was what they wanted to do with their lives, and they prepared for it, and they're getting canned at every audition.
Michelle Rodriguez
#8. If you worry about financial Armageddon, it is indeed metaphorically the time to stock your bunker with guns, ammunition, canned food and gold bars.
Nouriel Roubini
#9. Getting canned from a non-paying job is a lot like getting dumped by a girl you're not even dating.
Marlin Bressi
#10. PINEAPPLE SALSA: 1 cup fresh pineapple, diced (if fresh is unavailable, use canned pineapple and drain juice) 3 tablespoons fresh cilantro, chopped ¼ large red onion, diced fine ½ teaspoon black pepper 1 fresh lime COMBINE SALSA INGREDIENTS in a bowl, and refrigerate at least 1
Rick Warren
#11. Paull has his own style, which is folksy, not canned.
Religion? He's got one. His prophet's Ayn Rand.
By Rand's eerie theories he's fervently gripped,
So he won't do flip-flops. He long ago flipped.
Calvin Trillin
#13. Well, there they were, the masters of the earth, canned like tuna on wheels and blind as bats, their heads full of mischief and their newspapers of blood.
Salman Rushdie
#14. Canned food is a perversion,' Ignatius said. 'I suspect that it is ultimately very damaging to the soul.
John Kennedy Toole
#15. Here they are: Power Proteins Super Starches Chicken breast Oats Tuna (chunk light, canned in water) Brown rice Black beans Corn Prime Produce - Veggies Fit Fats Carrots Avocado Tomatoes Sunflower seeds Mushrooms Cashews Prime Produce-Fruits Blueberries Oranges Grapes
Phillip C. McGraw
#17. Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on 'canned' laughter, grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years.
Russell Baker
#18. Have you listened to the radio lately? Have you heard the canned, frozen and processed product being dished up to the world as American popular music today?
Billy Joel
#19. Nothing better in the world than getting a job the day after your ass gets canned.
James S.A. Corey
#21. The almost-always-ghastly exclamation point has been lately compared to canned laughter.
George F. Will
#22. What? An alien. You think I'm from outer space." She snorts in disbelief. "I'm Kelly Tillman, you dumb-ass. From 41 Montana Avenue, Valentine, Texas. What's left of it. I canned seventh grade for a piece-of-crap job with lousy tips and lousy hours. You ain't telling me I'm the outsider here. No way.
Philip Webb
#23. I've always felt that sexuality is a really slippery thing. In this day and age, it tends to get categorized and labeled, and I think labels are for food. Canned food.
Michael Stipe
#24. We killed our own hogs, we killed our own beef, we raised our own vegetables, which Mama canned. We did live off the land.
Si Robertson
#25. Teachers loved to say people had potential; that's what teachers did to keep themselves from getting canned. What were they supposed to say-I'm sorry, your kid has no promise whatsoever? She's utterly mediocre in every way?
Anne Ursu
#26. All the pre-made sauces in a jar, and frozen and canned vegetables, processed meats, and cheeses which are loaded with artificial ingredients and sodium can get in the way of a healthy diet. My number one advice is to eat fresh, and seasonally.
Todd English
#27. I still don't have a turkey, Mason. It slid across the floor of the Piggly Wiggly and knocked over a tower of canned sweet potatoes.
Denise Grover Swank
#28. Dear Habicht, / Such a solemn air of silence has descended between us that I almost feel as if I am committing a sacrilege when I break it now with some inconsequential babble ... / What are you up to, you frozen whale, you smoked, dried, canned piece of soul ... ?
Albert Einstein
#29. No member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who has canned peas, topped beets, hauled hay, shoveled coal, or helped in any way to serve others ever forgets or regrets the experience of helping provide for those in need.
Thomas S. Monson
#30. The great networks are there to prove that ideas can be canned like spaghetti. If everything ends up by tasting like everything else, is that not the evidence that it has been properly cooked?
Frederic Raphael
#31. It is surely no mere coincidence that the land of the emancipated and enthroned woman is also the land of canned soup, of canned pork and beans, of whole meals in cans, and of everything else ready made.
H.L. Mencken
#32. Her first step toward this end was to cook dinner on Monday evening. In all of her visions of herself as a wife, she would at least sometimes make meals other than canned soup and sandwiches.
Noelle Adams
#33. Almost anything can be stretched to serve more people by being added to a white sauce or canned gravy or undiluted or very slightly diluted canned soup and served over noodles or rice. With chops or chocolate eclairs, however, the only solution is to claim you don't like them.
Jo Coudert
#34. The deep-laden boats pull in against the coast where the canneries dip their tails into the bay. The figure is advisedly chosen, for if the canneries dipped their mouths into the bay the canned sardines which emerge from the other end would be metaphorically, at least, even more horrifying.
John Steinbeck
#35. I would eat fruitcake if there'd been a nuclear war and I'd run out of canned goods.
Deb Caletti
#36. In this world of uncertainty and woe, one thing remains unchanged: Fresh, canned, pureed, dried, salted, sliced, and served with sugar and cream, or pressed into juice, the tomato is reliable, friendly, and delicious. We would be nothing without it.
Laurie Colwin
#37. Dr. Lecter would have more sustenance on the spacecraft from Alien because there are more people to eat. I think he'd get hungry after a while in the Overlook - I can't imagine him eating canned food.
Bryan Fuller
#38. The first week I was here, a girl got canned for humming an Erasure song while she was churning butter. It's like, yeah, Erasure is historic, but not historic enough.
Chuck Palahniuk
#39. My feeling is that labels are for canned food ... I am what I am - and I know what I am.
Michael Stipe
#41. The American people are smart. They've gotten sick of the predictable hyperpartisan talking points and canned anger.
John Avlon
#42. The cinema is little more than a fad. It's canned drama. What audiences really want to see is flesh and blood on the stage.
Charlie Chaplin
#43. How could they find out that their tea and coffee, their sugar and flour, had been doctored; that their canned peas had been colored with copper salts, and their fruit jams with aniline dyes?
Upton Sinclair
#44. Grandma frowned and yelled something in Russian. She could have been saying, 'Open up, your best friend is here.' On the other hand, it could have been, 'America is a great country because of canned ravioli.
Laurie Halse Anderson
#45. they all offer me recipes for "cheap and easy eats" that usually involve a casserole made from canned soup, butter, and a snack chip.
Gillian Flynn
#46. Shank or canned tomatoes thickened with paste for a kind of red sauce to pour over noodles.
Robyn Carr
#47. Maintenance is what you have to do just so you can walk out the door knowing that if you go to the market and bump into a guy who once rejected you, you won't have to hide behind a stack of canned food. I don't mean to be too literal about this.
Nora Ephron
#48. Sam was struck by how good Mary looked. Weight loss. Probably from overwork. Or maybe she didn't enjoy living on the kinds of canned food that, in the old pre-FAYZ days, people had donated to food drives.
Michael Grant
#49. My knee struck a tree root as my vision went black. Suddenly, I was in a building at Haven Crest, kneeling on the floor. Blood, thick and clotted like canned cherries, crept down the walls. The lights above my head flickered off then on with a menacing hum.
Kady Cross
#50. People are too lazy and too stupid to think for themselves that we've got sitcoms with canned laughter that let's you know when to laugh if you're to stupid to know when the joke is.
Marilyn Manson
#51. I was recently downsized. That's the twenty-first-century way of saying I got canned. She
Stephen King
#52. I know people that could serve me canned tuna and saltine crackers and have me feel more at home at their table than some people who can cook circles around me. The more you try to impress people, generally the less you do.
Alton Brown
#53. Nonsense!" said the Emperor - but in a kindly, sympathetic tone. "Do not, I beg of you, dampen today's sun with the showers of tomorrow. For before your head has time to spoil you can have it canned, and in that way it may be preserved indefinitely.
L. Frank Baum
#54. We sucked in atheism with our canned milk.
Joy Davidman
#55. I invest in anything that Bernanke can't destroy including Gold, canned beans, bottled water and flashlight batteries ...
David Stockman
#56. I want gunshots and canned laughter and dog food commercials. Nothing seems too tragic when the television is blaring.
Liane Moriarty
#57. People in trailers were canned and labeled much like the apple juice down at the plant, stamped with ingredients for all the world to see: chicken fried steak, overcooked vegetables, no working knowledge of any major Italian movie directors
the list went on and on.
David Sedaris
#58. My client loved risk. Risk, I had learned, was a commodity in itself. Risk could be canned and sold like tomatoes.
Michael Lewis
#59. The potatoes were starch grenades. The canned carrots were revolting because that is their nature.
David Mitchell
#60. As the people of Shishmaref lose their natural hunting grounds to the warming sea, they are forced to buy U.S. canned goods from the only local store on the island; however, this is not their natural diet and cannot sustain them throughout the year.
Amy J. Berg
#61. Is there anything sadder than the foods of the 1950s? Canned, frozen, packaged concoctions, served up by the plateful, three meals per day, in an era in which the supermarket was king, the farmer's market was, well, for farmers, and the word 'locavore' sounded vaguely like a mythical beast.
Jeffrey Kluger
#62. We used to joke about canned men, putting people in a can and seeing how far you can send them and bring them back. That's not the purpose of this program ... Space is a laboratory, and we go into it to work and learn the new.
John Glenn
#63. I was at Ford for 32 years. I went to Chrysler in 1978, four or five months after I got canned by Henry Ford.
Lee Iacocca
#64. If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.
Paul Merton
#65. If memories could be canned, would they also have expiry dates? If so, I hope they last for centuries.
Takeshi Kaneshiro
#66. It was a practical trip, straight across the country. No pit stops at canned meat museums, no national parks. Just a whole lot of Wynebraskowa.
Kari Martindale
#67. Some people rehearse to a point where they're robotic, and they sound like they have memorized their presentation and didn't take it to the next level. Going from sounding memorized and canned to sounding natural is a lot of work.
Nancy Duarte
#68. I read everything, including the labels on canned food. I'm a hopeless print addict, a condition alleviated only by daily meditation which breaks the linear-Aristotelian trance. National Lampoon, Scientific American are what I read most obsessively.
Robert Anton Wilson
#69. To read a newspaper is to refrain from reading something worth while. The first discipline of education must therefore be to refuse resolutely to feed the mind with canned chatter.
Aleister Crowley
#70. You eat canned tuna fish and you absorb protein. Then, if you're lucky, someone give you Dover Sole and you experience nourishment. It's the same with books.
Lois Lowry
#71. I've occasionally wished I had Caller ID. Even telemarketers, I hate to hang up on them. I try to explain I'm not interested, but they have all these canned responses so I end up having to hang up on them anyway.
John Shelton Reed
#72. There was nothing a man couldn't do with three thousand dollars and a suitcase full of canned tuna fish and pregnancy brassieres. The car was called an El Camino for a reason. (Telegraph Avenue, p399)
Michael Chabon
#73. Bush is the face on the can. But who canned that soup?
Mort Sahl
#74. I live out of cans a lot. But I try to indulge only in healthy canned food.
Dwight Yoakam
#75. We went into the lunchroom and then the monk read something for twenty minutes while we ate our lunch - sour apple cider and lentil soup which tasted like canned to me but when I said so everyone just looked at me like I'm crazy, but - I think I know my soup.
Andy Warhol
#76. We mustn't forget how quickly the visions of genius become the canned goods of intellectuals.
Saul Bellow
#77. Once Mo had closed the gates, he returned to his little stone hut, and his half-eaten sandwich of butter and canned sardines, and his mug of thick hot chocolate, which every night he poured carefully into a thermos labeled COFFEE.
Lauren Oliver
#78. They tried to roast hazel nuts in the oven and prepare a Christmas meal out of canned ham, two potatoes, and some suspicious looking bread.
Jack Lewis Baillot
#79. I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
#81. I'd like to talk to Arnold Schwarzenegger, 'cause I live in California and I just want to see that canned, chemical filled body in my office.
Henry Rollins
#82. Lord," he said, "on this holiest of days, we thank you for food and ammunition. May our ships get through and the enemy's get lost." They all said "Amen" and then the orderlies brought in something that the cook had made out of bread crumbs and canned malevolence. Alistair
Chris Cleave
#83. We all know that much of what we hear in life is not really so. Canned laughter and 'sweetened' applause have been TV staples for decades, and all the slamming doors, breaking glass and squealing tires you hear in movies are sound effects.
Serge Schmemann
