Top 100 C.w Quotes: Famous Quotes & Sayings About C.w

#1. Really the truth is just a plain picture. A plain picture of, let's say, a tramp vomiting in the sewere. You know, and next door to the picture Mr. Rockefeller or Mr. C. W. Jones on the subway going to work. You know, any kind of picture. Just make a collage of pictures.

Bob Dylan

#2. First I went to C.W. Post and I was a psychology and theater major and then I transferred to NYU's Tisch School of the Arts as a drama major.

John Leguizamo

#3. It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason

W.C. Fields

#4. Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

W.C. Fields

#5. There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

W.C. Fields

#6. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

W.C. Fields

#7. We're flimflam artists. But remember, sonny, you can't con people unless they're greedy to begin with. W. C. Fields had it right. You can't cheat an honest man.

Sidney Sheldon

#8. Loving you has been worse than an addiction to drugs.
At least I don't have the drugs c r a w l i n g into my bed at night.

LeAnne Mechelle

#9. It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

W.C. Fields

#10. Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

W.C. Fields

#11. I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

W.C. Fields

#12. All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia

W.C. Fields

#13. N-O-W-A-C-K."
"No C."
"Oh. Okay. N-O-W-A-C.

Marshall Thornton

#14. As W.C. Fields once said: a thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

Steven D. Levitt

#15. 26And then they will see w the Son of Man coming in clouds x with great power and glory. 27And then y he will send out the angels and z gather a his elect from b the four winds, from c the ends of the earth d to the ends of heaven.

Anonymous

#16. To them it was a holy crusade; not just a right, but a veritable duty, no less than an obeisance to God's commandment.

C.W. Lovatt

#17. Sometimes it's the simplest things we should most long for.

C.W. Gortner

#18. The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

W.C. Fields

#19. During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.

W.C. Fields

#20. Grace is not something for which I must look in my heart. It is in the heart of God.

C.F.W. Walther

#21. If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

W.C. Fields

#22. Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.

Leo Rosten

#23. For this gospel I was appointed w a herald, apostle, and teacher, x 12 and that is why I suffer y these things. But I am not ashamed, because I know the One I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able to guard what has been entrusted to me C, z until that day. a

Anonymous

#24. I like children. If they're properly cooked.

W.C. Fields

#25. And opportunities are like stories in books," I retorted. "All we need do is pick one.

C.W. Gortner

#26. Why' is the only question that bothers people enough to have an entire letter of the alphabet named after it.
The alphabet does not go 'A B C D What? When? How?' but it does go 'V W X Why? Z.

Douglas Adams

#27. Among many other things, genius implies the ability to reduce the complicated to the simple, and to recognize inclusive structural principals.

C. W. Ceram

#28. Cross the street and run away.
Have another jolly day.

PW c.1973

Paige W. Pendleton

#29. The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

W.C. Fields

#30. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W.C. Fields

#31. Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.

W.C. Fields

#32. The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

W.C. Fields

#33. My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.

W.C. Fields

#34. A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.

W.C. Fields

#35. Anything the Austrians could do, the Prussians could do better.

Timothy C.W. Blanning

#36. Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

W.C. Fields

#37. But we are each created in God's image and must be allowed to seek our path to Him in our own way.

C.W. Gortner

#38. A good marriage is really good after serving together in Washington, D.C.

George W. Bush

#39. Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

W.C. Fields

#40. How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?

W.C. Fields

#41. You may come as a proud prince today young Habsburg. But you shall travel many more roads in Castile in death than you ever will in life

C.W. Gortner

#42. Here lies W.C.Fields. I'd rather be living in Philadelphia.

W.C. Fields

#43. Hi tooti-pie. Everything under control?

W.C. Fields

#44. No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.

W.C. Fields

#45. Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

W.C. Fields

#46. I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?

W.C. Fields

#47. Precision in matters of Christian doctrine is a hallmark of confessional Lutheranism, all for the sake of the Gospel.

C.F.W. Walther

#48. If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

W.C. Fields

#49. There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.

W.C. Fields

#50. I say the word N-U-C-L-E-R the same way that George W. Bush says it.

Gillian Jacobs

#51. Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

W.C. Fields

#52. I heard somebody say, 'Where's (Nelson) Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas.
George W. Bush, on the former South African president, who is still very much alive, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007

George W. Bush

#53. My dad's sense of humor was direct and sometimes surreal - his quick wit is well known amongst our family and friends. He raised me on Spike Jones records and W.C. Fields movies, and his sense of humor fell somewhere in between.

Tony Visconti

#54. The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!

W.C. Fields

#55. Simplicity," I said, "is true elegance. A woman is closest to being naked when she is well dressed. Her clothing should be seen only after she herself is.

C.W. Gortner

#56. What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an ax.

W.C. Fields

#57. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

W.C. Fields

#58. All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.

W.C. Fields

#59. Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.

W.C. Fields

#60. The truth is, not one of is innocent. We all have sins to confess.

C.W. Gortner

#61. I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

W.C. Fields

#62. I drink with impunity ... or anyone else who invites me.

W.C. Fields

#63. Sin is lawlessness and constitutes the doer thereof a rebel against the righteous rule of His sovereign Lord.

C.F.W. Walther

#64. I fear I lose myself among books. I forget everything.

C.W. Gortner

#65. I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

George W. Bush

#66. You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

W.C. Fields

#67. Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

W.C. Fields

#68. A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

W.C. Fields

#69. I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

W.C. Fields

#70. My spirituality is parochial, terrestrial. I do qualify as a W.I.T.C.H. , but my irrecular practice and impromptu rituals don't aim at producing any dramatic results except, perhaps, in me.

Stephanie Mills

#71. W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. 'I'm looking for a loop-hole,' he explained.

W.C. Fields

#72. Historians evaluating George W. Bush's first term will focus on foreign policy and, most of all, 9/11. I think they will criticize him for his early reaction, for not returning at once to Washington, D.C.

Robert Dallek

#73. When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.

W.C. Fields

#74. Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

W.C. Fields

#75. If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.

W.C. Fields

#76. [W]e're caught by our concepts ... [C]oncepts are not Reality.

Steve Hagen

#77. Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.

W.C. Fields

#78. I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

W.C. Fields

#79. Memorable among the Saxon warriors were Hengist and his wife (? or horse), Horsa. Hengist made himself King in the South. Thus Hengist was the first English King and his wife (or horse), Horsa, the first English Queen (or horse).

W.C. Sellar

#80. I only drink to steady my nerves ... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.

W.C. Fields

#81. Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

W.C. Fields

#82. Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

W.C. Fields

#83. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

W.C. Fields

#84. The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .

W.C. Fields

#85. Genius is the ability to reduce the complicated to the simple.

C. W. Ceram

#86. Was it worth it?" she sighed "I have found it is always worth fighting for what we believe in, regardless of the outcome. Risk is never without consequence.

C.W. Gortner

#87. I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.

W.C. Fields

#88. I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.

W.C. Fields

#89. No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.

W.C. Fields

#90. Bill's voice floated up: Y-You c-c-can stay up th-there if you w-want, Ruh-Ruh-Richie. St-Stand g-g-guard.

Stephen King

#91. Every high C accurately struck demolishes the theory that we are the irresponsible puppets of fate or chance.

W. H. Auden

#92. Since fortune was dragging its heels, I would lure it out with my hard work.

C.W. Gortner

#93. I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.

W.C. Fields

#94. I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.

W.C. Fields