Top 100 Barr's Quotes
#1. The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
Johnny Carson
#2. It is puzzling why anyone would want to (become governor of California). It's like vying to become Roseanne Barr's next husband. Sure you'd get your name in the paper, but look at the mess you'd be getting yourself into.
Ann Coulter
#3. I try to tell people to keep having hope. It's always what you don't know and don't expect that's gonna be so great.
Roseanne Barr
#4. I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
Roseanne Barr
#5. The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
Roseanne Barr
#6. He hears men's voices, shouts, so evil and grim he hears their names: Tin Tin, Fun Boy, T-Bird, Top Dollar and Tom Tom. The sounds sink into his heart like ice and brun in his head with a heat so intense it glows white.
James O'Barr
#7. But I'd say my best boss was Tom Barr, who was a partner at Cravath, Swain & Moore in the 1960s. It's because I learned so much from him.
David Boies
#8. A tall young man sped swiftly up the wide stone steps leading to the doorway of a mansion in one of Chicago's most fashionable avenues.
George Barr McCutcheon
#9. Guys always think tears are a sign of weakness. They're a sign of FRUSTRATION. She's only crying so she won't cut your throat in your sleep. So make nice and be grateful.
Donna Barr
#10. It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.
Roseanne Barr
#11. I don't think you ever write a song with any intention except the song's about such and such per say ... we've never written a song and thought 'oh it'd be great if in this part this happened in the audience'.
Al Barr
#12. But the lover's power is the poet's power. He can make love from all the common strings with which this world is strung.
Amelia Barr
#13. I think there's something fun about television where, as an actor, when you read the script each week, it's like how the audience experiences watching the show each week.
Matt Barr
#14. Anna ... envied Joan's deep connection with the human race. She was a member of the club. Anna was half convinced she'd been begotten by a passing alien life-form on a human woman. It was as good an explanation as any for the sense she had of being an outsider.
Nevada Barr
#15. I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.
Roseanne Barr
#16. They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
Roseanne Barr
#17. It's human when you get the sense that somebody likes you or is attracted to you - unless you're just completely repulsed by the person - I find that my first reaction is to entertain the idea.
Tara Lynne Barr
#18. Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?
Roseanne Barr
#19. We just do what we do, we're grateful every night when there's people in front of the stage and singing our songs back at us. We're all fortunate to be able to be doing this for a living, so we're just grateful to be here and we just do what we do and we let the people decide.
Al Barr
#20. Anyone with a show on T.V. will tell you it's backbreaking work. And if you have a big personality, which I have, and you're a perfectionist, there's going to be head-butting.
Roseanne Barr
#21. When she cries, It's over her book boyfriend
Shaunti Barr
#22. It's a scientific fact that men
think about sex like a huntin' dog can't help thinkin' about rabbits
or squirrels.
Dyann Love Barr
#23. Everyone holds a secret and that's just true about everyone. So at the end of the day it's amazing what people will do when they're backed up in a corner.
Matt Barr
#24. A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
#25. It's not a gun control problem; it's a cultural control problem.
Bob Barr
#26. It's not really the job of a public servant to inspire, but to get the job that the people demand done. The Democrats think that if they have hope and are inspired, things will get better, but they actually won't.
Roseanne Barr
#27. US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
Roseanne Barr
#28. Remember when you said "Mine?" and I said "Forever". You said "Only forver?" It's forever, now.
James O'Barr
#29. Whatever helps you sleep is my opinion on the subject, and that's what I like about the western world's most popular religion, it has helped put so many people to sleep, although most of them permanently and without their approval.
Roseanne Barr
#30. I think people's soul - I think you can kind of see it - there's what they say and there's what they do.
Matt Barr
#31. When I was little, that was one thing that I was told in a vision: I was going to have my own show when I grew up. And it's going to be funny.
Roseanne Barr
#32. Years go by, but the heart of what we all fight and die for at the core is the same. We fight and die for love and our family and our land and for what's ours. We do things for something as simple as pride.
Matt Barr
#33. The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list.
Roseanne Barr
#34. I got, like, Diane Keaton's manager, and she was very connected; she had power. And she was like, "Your star is in tears on this comedy. Do you even notice that at all?"
Roseanne Barr
#35. The Libertarian Party is a very mainstream party. It's a mainstream philosophy. It's of returning power from Washington to parents, to schools, to businesses in their communities.
Bob Barr
#36. I think you're wonderful. You're the only person I have in this awful, twisted world, and it's incredibly scary, but if I had to fight my way through this disease of a life with one person by my side, I'm glad it's with you. You inspire me to be stronger, and I need to be strong.
Christina L. Barr
#37. Eventually, I would wear him down. That's what friends do: we weather until we erode every possible doubt a relationship can bring until we have a smooth stone to cast in our river of life.
Christina L. Barr
#38. It's all right, little woman, take my word for it. If I were you, I'd cry. You'll see things differently through your tears.
George Barr McCutcheon
#39. The breed is more than the pasture. As you know, the cuckoo lays her eggs in any bird's nest; it may be hatched among blackbirds or robins or thrushes, but it is always a cuckoo ... a man cannot deliver himself from his ancestors.
Amelia Barr
#40. Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been a really great thing in my life.
Roseanne Barr
#41. I think I've found my passion in life. I'm going to direct a couple of short film on hiatus. That's what I really want to do.
Matt Barr
#42. You don't realise how much you're holding onto until you start to let go of it. I had had loads of therapy and thought I had come to terms with who I am, but there's something in the process of writing that unlocks other experiences, other emotions and you have to be prepared for that.
Damian Barr
#43. My sister was drowning in the ocean once, and my brother and I dove in and saved her. True story. She owes us her life. It's great leverage; we abuse it all the time!
Matt Barr
#44. You've got to stay in the game. Your luck's bound to change. Be a shame to miss it,
Nevada Barr
#45. I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.
Roseanne Barr
#46. It's a big culture of mind control too, MK-Ultra mind control rules in Hollywood. If you don't know that, google it and look into it. It's really hard for artists to find their voice in the media. It's levels of brainwashing and mind control.
Roseanne Barr
#47. The way I feel when you look at me is divine purpose. I don't think a species could have created this feeling that I have for you, not even in millions of years. I think it's too good and too pure, and sometimes, I don't feel worthy of such a gift and yet, it's mine.
Christina L. Barr
#48. For a while they sat without talking. Anna got her daypack and dug out a paperback copy of Ivanhoe. It produced a book's inevitable effect. In cats it stimulated the urge to sit on the pages. In humans it stimulated conversation.
Nevada Barr
#49. Don't panic, because everything is probably all right, and it it's not, panicking will make it worse.
Emily Barr
#50. I've always been curious about the monster that lives under your bed. Even at 30 years old you lean over the bed to see if there's something under there, potentially.
Matt Barr
#51. Who hath not heard the rich complain Of surfeits, and corporeal pain? He barr'd from every use of wealth, Envies the ploughman's strength and health.
John Gay
#52. I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
Roseanne Barr
#53. Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It's a mind-expander, which is part of why it's illegal and why drugs like Vicodin are legal.
Roseanne Barr
#54. Food is a huge passion of mine, and because I want to eat whatever I want, I run every morning, and then I do weights a few times a week. It's just how I can balance eating pancakes in the morning, a big burger for lunch, and then a fat steak and cheesecake at night.
Matt Barr
#55. I don't need the definition of society, I'll just do my little thing in my corner and I'll be satisfied. I think that's important nowadays.
Jean-Marc Barr
#57. Loss is a knife, constantly cutting, but over time the blade dulls, and the cuts aren't as sharp. It's always there in the drawer, but you realize it doesn't cut as deeply anymore.
Shane Barr
#58. Sometimes I think it's better to be a diva.
Julia Barr
#59. To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.
Roseanne Barr
#60. Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.
Roseanne Barr
#61. Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere with the labor unions and grab the money will be marched to the guillotines and subsequently beheaded. And isn't that easier and more productive than some endless, bloody conflict? So sayeth the gospel of common sense. Happy Mother's Day.
Roseanne Barr
#62. It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
Roseanne Barr
#63. Well, I've always wanted to call my son Barr."
"Like a tavern? Like a soap?"
"My father's name is Barr."
"Oh. And I love it!
Brian K. Vaughan
#64. I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.
Roseanne Barr
#65. Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.
Roseanne Barr
#66. I'm pro-life but I believe that the federal government ought to stay out of it. That's a decision that the people of each state ought to make for themselves.
Bob Barr
#67. I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids.
Roseanne Barr
#69. I went through in the edits and cut tons of stuff that was "funny" because if it wasn't funny at the time, so it shouldn't be funny now. It's about having that unity of experience. You have to try and take away your hindsight knowledge of a situation.
Damian Barr
#70. It is difficult, if not impossible, to argue that laws written in the 1970s are adequate for today's intelligence challenges.
Bob Barr
#71. I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
Roseanne Barr
#72. I'll never understand the art world. But I kind of feel like there's been some art world/black metal crossovers happening for a while.
Mick Barr
#73. This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: "Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left?" Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
Roseanne Barr
#74. What has to do with your ability to fall asleep is not caffeine. It's having a clean conscience. I have a clean conscience so I can drink all the caffeine I want.
Bob Barr
#75. More. Give me more.
I don't know if you're ready for this. He's shirtless.
You're killing me. Is he built?
Like a Greek god.
Nooooo.....so unfair. I don't have any hot neighbors, just acres and acres of corn fields.
Sue Barr
#76. But science has given us new eyes that allow us to see down to the deeper roots of the world's structure, and there all we see is order and symmetry of pristine mathematical purity.
Stephen M. Barr
#77. I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
Roseanne Barr
#78. We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
Roseanne Barr
#79. I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S.
Roseanne Barr
#80. It's fun to get the script every Monday morning and go, "Cool!" I'm a professional actor, but I'm also a professional story lover. I get off on that thrill.
Matt Barr
#81. I do kabbalistic meditation. It's not unlike time travel; it can change the past and not just the future. You can look at what was lost and go beyond the grief of what was lost.
Roseanne Barr
#82. I'm not really a computer guy. It's like recess. I'd rather be outside getting dirty in the sandbox.
Matt Barr
#83. I don't know if it's that the scripts are evolving or just that I'm getting older, but the characters become more interesting as you get older because you've lived more life at different stages. You've loved; you've lost; you have more of that journey.
Matt Barr
#84. It's not death if you refuse it ... It is if you accept it.
James O'Barr
#85. I'm really low maintenance when it comes to my clothes and what I wear. I definitely take care of my body, not so much for how I look, but I just like the feel of exercising and being healthy and having energy. That's why I work out all the time.
Matt Barr
#86. I do feel a responsibility. It's a privilege to be able to speak about it, but I don't speak for all gay people.
Damian Barr
#87. Whether it's a sitting president when I was an impeachment manager, or a Republican president who has taken liberties with adherence to the law, to me the standard is the same.
Bob Barr
#88. You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.
Roseanne Barr
#89. Two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.
Roseanne Barr
#91. The main international problem facing America is our lack of - our loss of influence in the world and our lack of an ability to define what U.S. interests really are.
Bob Barr
#92. The one who cares the most wins ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over ... I cared the most.
Roseanne Barr
#93. There's nothing like a hardship song to set my toes a-tappin.
Roseanne Barr
#94. Everything that's written about me has such a negative taint. It just has a life of its own, like an avalanche, and I don't think there's anything I can do to stop it.
Roseanne Barr
#95. A lot of men are impotent and it's very sad. How many of you are impotent? I see. Can't get your arms up either?
Roseanne Barr
#96. I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.
Roseanne Barr
#97. American mythology would have it that divorced or widowed women in their middle years were desperate to remarry. That had not been Polly's experience. Most had made lives they enjoyed and would only compromise for a very shiny white knight with a particularly breathtaking steed.
Nevada Barr
#98. I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.
Roseanne Barr
#99. I consider myself to be apretty good judge of people ... That's why I don't like any of them.
Roseanne Barr
#100. Courts have long recognized the federal government's robust power to inspect people and goods entering the country. After all, the very foundation of national sovereignty is a nation's ability to protect its borders.
Bob Barr
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