Achmed The Dead Quotes

#1. In literature and art memory is a synonym for invention. It is the life-blood of imagination, which faints and dies when the veins are empty.

Robert Aris Willmott

#2. Achmed 'Two Jews walk into a bar'
No no no no no' Jeff
You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard' Achmed"
-Achmed the dead terrorist and Jeff

Jeff Dunham

#3. Time in the most powerful thing.
Not money, not power, not hope.
A person can have everything they
desire but without time they are,
all useless.

Akash Lakhotia

#4. I don't think there is any religious revival. I think what we are hearing, the furor, is merely the hysterical response of the churches the handwriting on the wall that they are seeing.

Daniel Dennett

#5. And in that dark silence where it seems that everyone is someplace but me, it all comes back.

Melina Marchetta

#6. The reality about being economically dependent on someone else usually doesn't work out for women in the end. It's about being an adult and being responsible for your life. Most women have to work, so let's just get on with it.

Candace Bushnell

#7. When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, Well, what do you need?

Steven Wright

#8. Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.
Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you!

Jeff Dunham

#9. After all, Fnick is Superman," said Iggy.
"Shut up, Jeff," I said, but I was smiling. I lifted Iggy's fingers to my face so that he knew.

James Patterson

#10. I never felt comfortable in real life very well. It's always been an awkward kind of thing for me and so when I hit the stage I just sensed freedom. I sensed, 'Here's a place that I can have all the experiences of life and not feel uncomfortable about it.'

Nick Nolte

#11. Shut up or i'll kill you by Achmed the dead tarries.

Jeff Dunham

#12. Better to be tentative than to be recklessly sure- to be an apprentice at sixty, than to present oneself as a doctor at ten.

Michel De Montaigne

#13. It was a well-known fact that the richness of buttery foods led to the moral ruin and confusion of the intellect.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon