Top 100 Accountant Quotes
#1. Commissions add up, taxes are a big drag, margin ain't cheap. A good accountant costs money as well. The math on this one is obvious, yet investors often fail to recognize it: Keep your costs low and your turnover lower, and you will win in the end.
Barry Ritholtz
#2. I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.
Don Rickles
#3. The term "rock" has, unfortunately, become appropriated by four-year-old girls and accountants. An accountant does something amazingly well on the stock exchange and his buddies high-five him: He's a rock star! A four-year-old girl learned to ride a bicycle: She's a rock star!
Ian Astbury
#4. Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons
#5. He was husky, barrel-chested, and my age. The belly was a work in progress. It's the name that was important. He was part-time tough, like I said. Basically he's an accountant and works at a place downtown. He's really dead?" "Well," says Manny, "I didn't check his pulse, but he was in two pieces.
Stephen Dobyns
#6. Every time the economy goes south, art grows. If you were an actuary or an accountant you'd consider those years horrid, but if you were an artist, you'd consider them magic.
Marc Spitz
#7. But you know the minute I graduated high school I never looked at a single math problem again, right? I send everything with numbers on it to my accountant, or I make Michael deal with it." "Great. Spoken like a true feminist,
Meg Cabot
#8. Are you an accountant?" she asked.
"Why? Are you calling me boring?
Kim Dallmeier
#9. For almost anyone who chooses to be a writer, since so very few writers are able to learn a living from their work that is equivalent to the living earned by the average dentist or accountant.
Russell Banks
#10. I had the opportunity to go to law school, and my dad, who was an accountant, couldn't believe I wanted to walk away from that and start cooking.
Curtis Stone
#11. I just wanted to be a businessman, and to me, the best way to understand business was to be an accountant.
Aubrey McClendon
#12. I don't go to a psychiatrist. I don't go to a gym. I run away from my accountant, I run away from my dentist. They are all supposed to help you, but I like to stay in bed, where I have a chance to reflect, like Rossellini.
Marlene Dumas
#13. People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
Ellen DeGeneres
#14. Use an accountant the first time you file your taxes after becoming a freelancer. It will be worth it.
Jean Chatzky
#15. Who's going to manage (health savings accounts)?. It's not going to be your local accountant, it's going to be Fidelity.
Bill Vaughan
#16. I was an accountant in Chicago, and a friend of mine, Ed Gallagher, was in advertising. At 4:30 every day I'd be bored, and I would call him. He'd interview me.
Bob Newhart
#17. If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.
Ray Romano
#18. Challenges Ahead? Huh! Who cares! I am a CA, Chartered Accountant.
Vikrmn
#19. People don't really know themselves until they're 30. Like most people nowadays, I went to university, got a degree and wandered for a bit. I trained to be a chartered accountant, which I didn't much enjoy, and it was only slowly that the idea of becoming a creative writer gelled.
Wilbur Smith
#20. It is easier to tell our therapist about our sex life than it is to tell our accountant about our finances.
Vicki Robin
#21. I have a master's degree in medieval literature. Wyverns - or firedrakes, if you prefer - were once common in European mythology and legends." "But you . . . you're my accountant," Sarah sputtered. "Do you have any idea how many English majors are accountants?" Vivian asked with raised eyebrows.
Deborah Harkness
#22. After we ordered dessert, Skye seemed to remember that conversation required a give and take, looked at me and said, "So...you're an accountant. Sounds painfully boring."
I wanted to say, "not as painfully boring as this conversation", but decided to take the high road.
Marshall Thornton
#23. Darius blinked. "You're an accountant?" She looked more like a supermodel librarian. Not that he could tell her that.
Laura Oliva
#24. Do not define yourself by what you do. A manager? No, you are not a manager but you work as a manager. A maid? No, you are not a maid but you work as a maid. An accountant? No but you only work now as an accountant
Ikechukwu Joseph
#25. I have a poverty demon. I'll ask my accountant if I can afford something, and he'll say, 'What are you talking about?'
Tyra Banks
#26. It's easier to teach a poet how to read a balance sheet than it is to teach an accountant how to write.
Henry R. Luce
#27. Get your associates as fast as you can and then get a bachelors."
"I don't want that. I want to work in TV."
"Trust me, Laura. You'd be happier if you were an accountant.
Teresa Lo
#28. Property is my major investment. My accountant has put money into various long-term savings arrangements. To be honest, I am a bit vague about all that stuff.
Anne Robinson
#29. CA means Charismatic Amalgamation of great experiences of life. I am a Chartered Accountant.
Vikrmn
#30. hey its Uberunicorn here, im uploading my accountant for the first time! :D yay! im only uploading the books ive read in a short time: jan-dec, so i might not have so many books online j8st yet... - Uberunicorn, this one called cherub the recruit! Y X 3!!!
Robert Muchamore
#31. The average parent may, for example, plant an artist or fertilize a ballet dancer and end up with a certified public accountant. We cannot train children along chicken wire to make them grow in the right direction. Tying them to stakes is frowned upon, even in Massachusetts.
Ellen Goodman
#32. An accountant is a man who puts his head in the past and backs his ass into the future.
F. Ross Johnson
#33. My generation's parents told their children, 'Become an accountant, a lawyer, or an engineer; that will give you a solid foothold in the middle class.' But these jobs are now being sent overseas. So in order to make it today, you have to do work that's hard to outsource, hard to automate.
Daniel H. Pink
#35. When actors go onstage, you know immediately if they can do their job. You can be a lawyer or an accountant for years and not find out.
Patsy Rodenburg
#36. Maxine recoils, only partly out of the classic accountant's allergy to real folding money
Thomas Pynchon
#37. Choose your agent as carefully as you would choose your accountant or lawyer. Or dentist.
Russell Banks
#38. Like a forensic accountant trying to solve a corporate fraud, following the trail of money around the circle is a good way to understand what actually happens as capitalism unfolds.
Jim Stanford
#39. It had been an embarrassing moment, like the one you get when you realize for the first time that you have what it takes to become an accountant.
Sorin Suciu
#40. When I was a child, I wanted to be a jockey. I love horses, but it's not practical to have one in London. I also wanted to be an accountant, which isn't glamorous at all, but my dad was one, and I quite liked maths.
Lydia Leonard
#41. CA means Challenge it, Achieve it, Loop it. I am a Chartered Accountant.
Vikrmn
#42. Now is the time to draw a clean, clear, bright line and say if you are engaging in speech over the Internet you do not have to check with your lawyer or your accountant. You are a free American, and you have the opportunity to engage in free speech over the Internet.
John Doolittle
#43. My accountant worships me because I'm so cautious with my money.
Scott Patterson
#44. CA study course in India is not the toughest study course. It's for them who are the toughest, the determined ones. I am a Chartered Accountant.
Vikrmn
#45. Mom was a housewife; Dad was an accountant. They taught me a lot about the value of working hard.
Irene Rosenfeld
#46. CA means Chakra of Ambitions. I am a Chartered Accountant.
Vikrmn
#47. I'd rather lie bare-assed naked on the sidewalk and be trampled by tourists from South Dakota than be an accountant.
J.D. Robb
#48. In this business you break a leg and 150 other people are out of work while production is shut down. It's not like you were an accountant and could still work with your leg in a cast.
Ken Curtis
#49. He concluded that there was effectively no way for an accountant assigned to audit a giant Wall Street firm to figure out whether it was making money or losing money.
Michael Lewis
#50. If you want to be a top athlete you have to be a little bit wild, not be an accountant.
Renato Canova
#51. Put you energy into music. If it fails you, you can become an accountant or a dentist. And then if you become a dentist or an accountant, it's too late to become a musician afterwards.
Peter Tork
#52. Creativity is absolutely for everyone. I firmly believe this. I think if you're the driest accountant with the plastic pocket pen protector it's in how you interact with the world. There is artistry in everything that we do and there is expression in everything that we do.
Rainn Wilson
#53. Most years, if you were to ask me how much I make, the genuine answer is that I have no clue. I usually find out the answer to that question once a year, at tax time, when my accountant tells me.
Simon Sinek
#54. It's very hard to respect people on holiday - everybody looks so silly at the beach, it makes you hate humanity - but when you see people at their work they elicit respect, whether it's a mechanic, a stonemason or an accountant.
Alain De Botton
#55. every pirate and privateer has lurking within him the soul of an accountant. Though some would say 'tis the other way round.
Neal Stephenson
#56. Any analyst at any time can target anyone. Any selector, anywhere I, sitting at my desk, certainly had the authorities to wiretap anyone, from you or your accountant, to a federal judge, to even the President
Edward Snowden
#57. My father was an accountant and his father was a typographer.
Umberto Eco
#58. I think Mum's got a second cousin who's an accountant, but we never talk about him.
J.K. Rowling
#59. I mean I get loads of money, all from different sources. You give it to your accountant. They manage it. But you pay corporation tax. If you're then taking it out and spending it on yourself, you have to pay more.
Ken Livingstone
#60. I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.
Laurie Notaro
#61. A defrocked heretic accountant, Grimm had learned just enough mathemagics to be a nuisance, if not actually dangerous, and had been thrown out of the Accountants' Guild for unethical use of imaginary numbers.
Simon R. Green
#62. I do what I do, and write what I write, without calculating what is worth what and so on. Fortunately, I am not a banker or an accountant. I feel that there is a time when a political statement needs to be made and I make it.
Arundhati Roy
#63. It would've been hard to do something else, to as it were, run away from the circus and become an accountant.
Samuel West
#64. Once we allow ourselves to be disobedient to the test of an accountant's profit, we have begun to change our civilization.
John Maynard Keynes
#65. April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.
Ed Helms
#66. If you can manipulate news, a judge can manipulate the law. A smart lawyer can keep a killer out of jail, a smart accountant can keep a thief from paying taxes, a smart reporter could ruin your reputation- unfairly.
Mario Cuomo
#67. Never call an accountant a credit to his profession; a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
Charles Lyell
#68. In terms of my father, if you have 4 children that work in film, then there certainly was a happy, positive influence from him because none us became an accountant.
Lucia Puenzo
#69. After Huguette Clark died in 2011 at age 104, 19 relatives challenged her will, claiming she was mentally ill and had been defrauded by her nurse, attorney and accountant.
Bill Dedman
#70. It's not like you're becoming a born-again Christian or teetotal or an accountant or something you can stop being after a while. You'll never not be a father now.'
'It feels great, Rob' he said. 'Just great.
Tim Relf
#71. You earn very little money on independent films and I'm the provider for my home, so I do have to think of taking one for the accountant time and again and that means studio pictures.
Vera Farmiga
#72. She was my accountant, so I just believed her.
John Howard
#73. I look like an accountant. And no offense to accountants! There's some really cool accountants out there.
Jake Lacy
#74. I probably wouldn't make a good accountant. I don't even understand what my accountant tells me. But the character is a sort of exaggerated version of me, he's a little more frightened than I am, everything seems so much bigger to him than it does to me.
Matthew Broderick
#75. Edward Snowden made an audacious claim: I, sitting at my desk, could wiretap anyone, from you or your accountant, to a federal judge or even the president, if I had a personal email.
Glenn Greenwald
#76. Vice President Joe Biden said today that 'Syria must be held accountable.' Unfortunately, the Obama administration has never employed an accountant, so they have no idea how to do that.
Jay Leno
#77. Well, we all have our specialties, Harold." For example, you are a wanking accountant.
Dylan Schaffer
#78. I think that the opportunity to be a kid another year and not have to not worry about the responsibilities of paying bills, and worry about getting an agent and worry about getting an accountant was important.
Jason Williams
#79. One day my wife went and saw the accountant and said she's pulling the plug. She said you guys are done. I said, how bad can it be? 10 grand? She said you're not even close. It came out to almost $50,000 in alcohol for two months.
Zakk Wylde
#80. I'm a bean counter. Oh, I'm not an accountant, but I did spill pinto beans on the counter.
Jarod Kintz
#81. In a relationship where finances are shared, it's important that both people know what's going on. If one spouse likes being the family accountant, it's fine for that person to take the lead, but the other spouse shouldn't be in the dark.
Jean Chatzky
#82. I am the despair of my accountant; I am the plastic bags of receipts.
Val McDermid
#83. She'd known many men in her life but this bear of a man with a lawyer's mind, an accountant's habits, and a knight's spirit outshone them all.
Cathy Maxwell
#84. Someone asked, "Can Anybody?" A CA replied, "Yes, and I don't think I just can, I know I will. I am a Chartered Accountant.
Vikrmn
#85. No, when I worked as an accountant I was falling asleep waiting for 5 o'clock.
Heston Blumenthal
#86. I am just an Accountant who love God.
Evans Biya
#87. Herman Melville was supposed to be an accountant. Van Gogh was meant to be an art dealer. I was meant to take the train into New York and work for a bank. To be an artist, you have to say goodbye to your family.
Don McLean
#88. As for poetry 'belonging' in the classroom, it's like the way they taught us sex in those old hygiene classes: not performance but semiotics. If it I had taken Hygiene 71 seriously, I would have become a monk; & if I had taken college English seriously, I would have become an accountant.
Jerome Rothenberg
#89. Last night, John McCain said that under the Democratic health care plan, a bureaucrat would stand between you and your doctor, as opposed to the Republican health care plan, where an accountant would stand between you and your health care.
Jay Leno
#90. I'm very aware of my spending, but I'm not very aware of my income. There are certain times when I speak to my accountant, or something will pop up, and I'll be like 'oh' but it's not really a frontrunner in my head.
Gemma Ward
#91. I spend 90 percent of my time saying no, and my accountant yells at me for it, but when I started in this business, I wanted my career to have legs.
Omar Epps
#92. My neighborhood was rough, but I live a great life now. I don't fight that much now. I don't look for it anyway, but if someone hits your mother, whether you're a star, an accountant, or an astronaut or anything ... I mean it's your mother, so I lost my mind.
Shia Labeouf
#93. If you love math, have a knack for numbers, study hard and become a successful accountant; who cares if you can't draw a straight line or sing on key?
Nick Carter
#94. Obviously if you are an accountant, a criminal lawyer, a president, or a senator, or if you work in a funeral parlor, you have to wear a tie, but more and more people are wearing very casual clothes.
Jean Pigozzi
#95. I could never have been an accountant. I got a D in math.
Rob Marshall
#96. I never looked at being a musician any different than waking up one day and wanting to be an accountant or a lawyer.
James Vincent McMorrow
#97. I'm pretty much a 9-to-5 kind of guy. I usually get to work about 8 in the morning, and I work until 4 or 5, and sometimes I work on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Pretty much I keep the same hours as an accountant or clerk or whatever.
Douglas Preston
#98. The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
#99. I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant.
Bob Newhart
#100. Someone remind me why I didn't want to be an accountant when I grew up," Brock drawled.
Niko chuckled. "Because accountants don't get to make things go boom.
Lara Adrian
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