Top 60 Michael Thomas Ford Quotes
#1. To be fair he is Lord Byron," Jane said. "I don't know many people who haven't slept with him at one time or another."
Jane Fairfax
Michael Thomas Ford
#2. And it's not like I've never jacked off. I'm fifteen years old. Of course I do it. Any guy who says he doesn't is lying. That would be like having the coolest video game ever and never playing it. No one's that stupid.
Michael Thomas Ford
#3. Do you know what it's like to have everyone expect you to be the best at something?
Michael Thomas Ford
#4. He said that I have to remember that even though I've changed a lot in here, I'm going back to a world that hasn't changed
Michael Thomas Ford
#5. No one in France cares if you tried to kill yourself. In fact, I think they like you better because you're all tragic.
Michael Thomas Ford
#6. So now I'm thinking about it. I'm imagining sitting down with my parents and actually saying, "I'm gay." And you know what? It makes me a little mad. I mean, straight guys don't have to sit their parents down and tell them they like girls.
Michael Thomas Ford
#8. If they had a pill that would fix every dysfunctional family in the world, don't you think they'd be selling it?"
"I don't think the world is ready for that kind of happiness.
Michael Thomas Ford
#9. Trust me no matter how horrible you feel or how bad things seem, there is always a way out. Suicide is never your only option.
Michael Thomas Ford
#10. When people hurt us, the best thing to do isn't to ask why they did it but to remind ourselves that it wasn't our fault.
Michael Thomas Ford
#11. I'm gay," I said, not sure how else to say it.
"You're fifteen," she said. "You can't be gay.
Michael Thomas Ford
#12. He lifted his shirt, and on his back was the White Rabbit, wearing his waistcoat and looking at his watch. It was just like the illustration from the book. Only standing next to him, back-to-back, was another White Rabbit wearing a leather motercycle jacket and boots and smoking a cigar.
Michael Thomas Ford
#13. In my opinion any activity during which you can enjoy a beverage is not a sport. It is a party.
Michael Thomas Ford
#15. And just because your life isn't as awful as someone else's, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. You can't compare how you feel to the way other people feel. It just doesn't work. What might look like the perfect life - or even an okay life - to you might not be so okay for the person living it. God,
Michael Thomas Ford
#16. I loved Jerry, and I wanted to have his baby." She laughed. "This was before women started looking at their vaginas in hand mirrors and Gloria Steinem told us we could be more than just mothers.
Michael Thomas Ford
#17. I swear, sometimes it feels like there's this monkey in my head who runs around turning the dials and changing channels on me. One minute I'm sitting around eating chocolate chip cookies and then all of a sudden I'm thinking about bears.
Michael Thomas Ford
#18. That sounds so weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you. But killing someone is wrong, and I don't think suicide is. It's my life, right? I should be able to end it if I want to. I don't think it's a sin.
Michael Thomas Ford
#19. But think about it: Right from the start the odds are against you. It's kind of amazing that any of us ever get here at all.
Michael Thomas Ford
#20. Once you realise there's nothing to be afraid of when you die, there's nothing else to worry about.
Michael Thomas Ford
#21. Most religions are concerned about what happens when you die, about going somewhere better than here as a reward for faithful service or whatever you want to call it. Paganism teaches that being here is the reward, and that we need to make the most of it and leave the world a better place.
Michael Thomas Ford
#22. People who look down on us poor country folk usually won't admit that anything worthwhile can come out of here.
Michael Thomas Ford
#23. That sounds weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you.
Michael Thomas Ford
#24. Here's what I think. One, people should figure out that if they go around bothering bears, chances are they're going to end up bear snacks. Second, people suck.
Michael Thomas Ford
#25. It was odd
unsettling, actually
how love magnified everything. Small joy was turned into overwhelming happiness; worry became heart-stopping fear. It was as if love became a magnifying glass turned on the heart, taking whatever was there and making it appear many times its normal size.
Michael Thomas Ford
#26. One of the best T-shirts I ever saw,said: i was happy once,but i'm better now.
Michael Thomas Ford
#27. I asked her, 'Did you like Sadie?'
Juliet put down the book she was reading. 'I liked her the way you like a hurt dog,' she said.
'What do you mean?' I asked her.
'You feel sorry for it, and you want to help it, but you're not sure it won't bite you when you're not looking,' Juliet said.
Michael Thomas Ford
#28. One of the great lies we tell ourselves is that just because we're related to people, we have to like them.
Michael Thomas Ford
#29. Let me tell something, seeing your name and psychiatric ward on the same piece of paper isn't the best way to start your day.
Michael Thomas Ford
#30. I love that word. Gaydar. So clever."
"I'm afraid mine is broken," Burke said. "It never occurred to me that you were gay."
"It's because I'm teeming with masculinity," Gaither joked.
Michael Thomas Ford
#31. By the time we were done I was exhausted. I don't know how movie stars do the same scene over and over like that. It takes a lot out of you.
Michael Thomas Ford
#32. She laughed. "Welcome to Camp Meds," She said. "Where the campers are crazy and the counselors want you to take drugs.
Michael Thomas Ford
#33. I think I'm in love," he said after swallowing. "I could marry that pie."
"According to the anti-gay crowd, that'll be next," said Nan. "Pies and sheep.
Michael Thomas Ford
#35. I guess I've learned that no matter how bad things get, there are always people who love you.
Michael Thomas Ford
#37. That's why teenage dating is so dumb, because it's doomed to fail. You'd think people would have learned that by now, but I guess they haven't. They go right on falling in love and thinking it's going to survive high school.
Michael Thomas Ford
#38. I have to keep her in line somehow or she'll think she's the boss of everything.
Michael Thomas Ford
#39. He had never been a religious person. Even as a child he had found the notion of an omnipotent creator who punished his crations inconsistently for minor infractions of a vaguely defined moral code to be unthinkable to anyone with an ounce of sense.
Michael Thomas Ford
#42. Who uses crunchy peanut butter?" he asked the room. "You might as well eat squirrel shit.
Michael Thomas Ford
#43. I mean, how do you know if people are good for you or not? It's not like they come with an FDA approved sticker or anything.
Michael Thomas Ford
#44. I don't know why anyone wants to get married," said Burke. "I think the whole thing was cooked up by lawyers so they can get rich off of divorce.
Michael Thomas Ford
#45. This is the part where they try to make you remember," said Sadie. She looked at my wrists. "Is it working?" Without realizing it, I'd pushed one sleeve of my pajamas up and was rubbing the gauze that circled my wrist. I stopped, and let the sleeve fall back where it was.
Michael Thomas Ford
#47. Byron clapped Walter on the back. 'Good work,' he said.
Walter shook his head. 'You're the one who clocked her with the Stephen King hardcover. That took some of the wind out of her.'
'Thank heavens he's a wordy man,' said Byron.
Michael Thomas Ford
#49. Given a choice between discussing the symbolism of a pig head on a stick and discussing my feelings, I'll take the pig head every time.
Michael Thomas Ford
#50. Faith, he had learned that night in front of the flickering television, was most glorious when it was most untouched by reason.
Michael Thomas Ford
#52. If your mother likes your drawing of a duck and hangs it on the refrigerator, that doesn't mean it's good."
"Snob," Sam said.
Michael Thomas Ford
#55. If I were a girl, I'd be sucking every cock I could get my mouth on," Will said. "Fuck, I'd take on the whole football team at one time."
Burke ran his hand through Will's hair. "Careful," he said. "You don't want to get a reputation as a bad girl. No one will marry you, then.
Michael Thomas Ford
#58. Only of course they bleeped out the good part because it's daytime TV, and we all know that no one in America swears.
Michael Thomas Ford
#59. I knew people were talking, but I wasn't listening. I wasn't interested in anything anyone had to say.
Michael Thomas Ford
#60. There's not much point to being alive if you don't do what you can to make life better for someone else, is there?
Michael Thomas Ford
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