Lola Salt Quotes

#1. Those bastards at the casting agency said I couldn't play Edward Cullen. Well, I'm going to show them. I'm making my own movie. And I'm going to star in it.'
'You're remaking Twilight?'
'Yes.

Lola Salt

#2. Pirates?' Lara gasped. 'But we're not at sea. How can they be pirates?'
Weren't pirates supposed to wear eye-patches, feather earrings and lots of black eye-liner, and say 'arrrrr' a lot? Or was that just Johnny Depp? Lara was confused.

Lola Salt

#3. Now, listen Tyler,' Lara said, feeling a little impatient. She rather liked a cuddle after sex, and a bit of kissing. But a guilt trip was absolutely unacceptable, even if they were lying naked on someone else's kitchen table.

Lola Salt

#4. Don't you want to find your purpose?'
Lara glared at her. 'Right now my purpose is to get the hell out of here and then I'll figure the rest of it out the normal way; by drinking vodka. Or maybe I'll read Eat, Pray, Love all the way through ...

Lola Salt

#5. This isn't just any shirt,' he told her. 'This shirt was worn by he-who-must-not-be-named in the first of the Twilight films.'
Lara's mouth fell open. She blinked several times. What was he talking about? Voldemort wasn't even in Twilight.

Lola Salt

#6. Don't be frightened,' he murmured into her ear. 'I will protect you.'
Lara sighed deeply. A Prince - promising to protect her. Yes please.

Lola Salt

#7. Somehow, perhaps because of the way he spoke in a manner reminiscent of Jack Bauer from 24, Lara calmed down. She repeated his words in her head. Wait. Assess. Intel. Yes, OK, that sounded sensible.
Then the hysterical coward in her reared up unannounced and she tried to run for the door again.

Lola Salt

#8. She didn't know what a goji berry was, but it sounded like something Amazonian tribesmen might eat when they wanted to talk to their ancestors and embark on an inner voyage into some sort of unicorn-infested netherworld.
Whatever worked.

Lola Salt

#9. Where did you get them? Are they Stuart Weitzman? Prada Summer Collection?'
'Um, New Look, I think,' Lara told him.

Lola Salt