Judy Tenuta Quotes

#1. My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, 'Just wait.

Judy Tenuta

#2. Love Goddess in training. It could happen.

Judy Tenuta

#3. You can't get a body like mine in a bottle unless you push real hard.

Judy Tenuta

#4. Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you ...

Judy Tenuta

#5. Judy, you don't know nothin' about the South. You don't even know the difference between the North and the South.'
I said, 'Oh yes I do. In the North, there's a cutoff age for sleeping with your parents.

Judy Tenuta

#6. I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.

Judy Tenuta

#7. How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

Judy Tenuta

#8. I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist.

Judy Tenuta

#9. What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks.

Judy Tenuta

#10. I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself.

Judy Tenuta

#11. This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between a macho man and a sensitive man." I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?"

Judy Tenuta